“Having completed half my earthly life, I found myself in a dark forest...” Well, it happens, although in my case it’s not quite like that, or rather, not at all like that. I came to my 30th birthday not only with a rich experience of events and experiences, but also with an inspiring bouquet of life truths and attitudes (flexible enough not to regret the meaninglessness of further existence). So, what turned out to be the swarm of questions and answers that had been raging in my head for three decades? What have I learned during this time and do I know anything at all? And the main thing that interests me much more: what conclusions did you come to?
PHOTO Timur Artamonov
Nothing lasts a lifetime. Awareness of this fact is the key to the structure of the world. Pleasure, sorrow, love, happiness, separation - all events in life are like waves rolling onto the shore and disappearing into the ocean of memories. Some experiences are brought to the surface again, but never repeat in the same way.
Every day we spend a lot of time and nerves wanting what we don't have. It seems to us that the lives of others are better, their moon is always fuller and their stars shine brighter. However, this is not true: everyone has their own burden to bear.
We live, trying to prove something to each other, the ego pushes us to do this - a dominant force that awakens the spirit of competition, the desire to win, which prevents us from seeing the true essence of things with our hearts, being gentle and loving, seeking compromises and forgiving.
Kindness is a weapon of mass unification, the highest level of maturity and wisdom. She brings love back into our lives and heals emotional wounds. If kindness lives in your heart, you will emerge victorious from any situation.
The idea of finding a soul mate is interpreted by society as a necessity, the goal of which is marriage and having children. Once upon a time this was a recipe for happiness for me, but now it is a side noise that resonates with the world around me. I learned to value self-sufficiency, freedom and independence.
Moderation is a necessary component of internal balance. “All or nothing” is the motto of egoists and weaklings. We become more harmonious by mastering the art of loving in moderation, having fun in moderation, being sad in moderation and being in moderation.
Happiness cannot be accumulated, but can be experienced constantly. My sources of everyday joy are in the corners of pleasant coffee shops, in the lines of my favorite books, in exchanging smiles with a stranger, in walks along old streets.
Patience is a difficult skill to learn, but looking back, I realize that the best things in life are the reward of waiting.
Over time, your social circle narrows, and that’s good. There are not many people in the world who understand you. It is important not to skimp on support and value genuine intimacy.
We love those whom we allow ourselves to love, limiting our sincere choice to acquired complexes. For the sake of a happy relationship, you need to learn to love yourself.
Reading cures loneliness, opens up the world, changes time and space, connecting us with history and the future.
Behind every negative comment and swear word is a person who was disliked. Most of us long to be loved, but never admit it.
Silence is a storyteller, advisor and friend. Give yourself time to think or do nothing in complete peace to free yourself from prejudice and uncertainty.
There is nothing worse than being stuck in a state of nothingness, limiting your feelings and actions. I live and develop when I love and hate, because I feel.
Everyone has talents and opportunities, which we realize regardless of position and salary. Each of us is a unique individual who changes the world outside the office: at home, at a party, on a date, at lunch, and even in our dreams. My job is just a job. And I am much more.
Reality is different from a direct path from point A to point B. Life is a complex geometry with many points, parallels, and intersections. Only in the process of movement does it become clear who I am and what I want.
What is absolute truth? Depends on the person, circumstances and personal view of reality. Everyone has their own truth, which another may not like.
Having promised something today, we will be responsible for it tomorrow, balancing on the brink of success and disappointment. No one is able to provide complete control over events.
Only when we realize illness or loss do we remember how fragile and defenseless we are. You should not forget about this.
It is difficult to adopt principles that we have not yet confronted. True values are determined by experience, no matter what our parents tell us.
Clutter makes it possible to think creatively and come up with interesting solutions. Rules are the enemies of creativity.
We think that we can turn to our parents at any time if anything happens. And it’s time to think that they can turn to us at any moment, and their problems will have to be solved somehow. You. As they say, the point is not that we are adults, the point is that adults are now us. It’s better to get used to this now, because your parents are not getting healthier or younger, alas.
One day you will gather yourself with this very willpower and - wow, everything will work out! You will stop staying up until two in the morning because it’s interesting to watch another episode, you will stop eating only coffee for breakfast, you will definitely finally learn Spanish and lose five kilograms. No, it doesn't work. Because the only thing you have to do is start, and then it will either become a habit or you will enjoy it. Or you will abandon the idea itself in principle. Well, or you will continue to wait for the grace that will descend on you. Not a good idea, to be honest.
No, you won't fit in. If you set yourself the goal of stuffing your aphedron into your teenage pants, then it’s a lost cause. Because youth is over, and you understand it. And even if your body type allows you to return to the same size, you won’t be able to. Precisely because you still haven't thrown away those jeans. Your consciousness intends to return not the volume of your hips, but the wonderful years of your youth. Which, of course, is impossible. Throw away that relic rag and buy yourself a gym membership.
Yes, yes, “Never ask for anything! They will offer and give everything themselves.” Do you remember where the quote came from? That's it. They will come and give - without fail. Along the neck. In the event that you do not analyze situations of this kind that have already happened to you. And you won’t understand that your problems were never solved by themselves: either they were solved by people who love you, or you figured it out yourself, you just didn’t think about it, because nothing terrible, in essence, happened. And now you have grown up, the problems have become adults. It’s not a big deal, really, if you don’t expect it to somehow resolve on its own.
Popular
It’s an amazing thing: more than half of Russians aged 25 to 64 have higher education, but no one still knows how to count, judging by how often we take out loans. And if at 20 years old thoughtless spending of money is still excusable, then at 30 it’s somehow strange. Let's leave the question of survival - a loan for treatment or a mortgage loan. Let's take sudden expenses - the refrigerator, for example, broke down. There is no money for a new one. Don't have any savings because you can't afford them? Can you afford to overpay at least twice as much? I wonder how this happens?
In general, yes, you can - if you start losing weight in September. No other options are provided. Yes, 10 years ago you could go on an express diet and lose weight in just a couple of weeks, but now this joy is over. But now you can undermine your already imperfect health, get a couple of extra wrinkles and sagging skin, and then gain back everything you lost, plus a few more kilograms. Great prospects, right?
No. Not because at 30, active life ends and it’s time to wrap yourself in a sheet and head for the necropolis. You don’t have this time, because you are still dreaming, but you should already be making plans. The difference is very significant.
There is no heavenly office that distributes to everyone what they deserve, in fairness, and to some, only one place with a shovel. It is impossible to protect yourself from trouble by following some code of “goodness.” You can and should buckle up in the car, visit the doctor preventatively, and not when something has already fallen off, and do not forget to analyze what is happening in your personal life. You can also be a good girl, but you don't have to. I mean, it won't save you from anything.
Tomorrow will be much, much worse if you still believe in this mantra. It is very difficult to learn to live in the present if you are used to dreaming about the future, but it simply must be done. Not because a wonderful future will not come - it is likely that in your 40s everything will be fine. But you won’t be able to enjoy it, because you will continue to dream about the future. And there, in this very future, there will be menopause and retirement, actually. It’s not that it’s terrible, but, you know, it’s a shame not to have time to enjoy everything that life gives you while you’re young and full of strength.
And now he will teach you, yes, yes. A guru will come and tell you how to live, and you will be happy. You will eat only raw vegetables and become healthier, you will run in winter and summer in a floor-length skirt - and your husband will earn a million, you will breastfeed your child until he is 8 years old and teach him at home - and he will grow up to be a genius. Do you know what will actually happen? You will undermine your health, waste time and money, and - most importantly - lose self-respect. Because there is no happiness for everyone and for nothing. There is no magic recipe for a happy life. You will achieve nothing, but you will lose a lot if you do not understand one simple thing: no one knows the truth, because it simply does not exist. Not provided in the basic configuration of the universe.
No, he's just a mouflon. And you understand this perfectly, by the way. 30 years is the time when you need to understand something else: you are already a big girl. You don't need a walker to get through life. You can be alone, you can be in a couple, and the only thing you can’t do is be with just anyone. Because right now is your prime: you are finally an adult, but still young and beautiful. This is the best age for a woman. It is very foolish to waste this magical time on taming ruminant artiodactyls.
We lose hair every day, but we usually don't go bald; We cut our nails, but they still grow back. We remove dead skin cells to give it smoothness and radiance, and carry out procedures that start the process of skin regeneration.
All this is possible thanks to the body’s ability to renew itself. You've probably heard that the human body is completely renewed every 7 years, that is, at the end of this period you become a different person, because every cell in your body is replaced by a new one.
Sounds amazing! But is this really so and why do we, despite the renewal of the body, continue to age?
Indeed, the lifespan of individual cells in the human body is limited. After this period has expired, the cells die and new ones take their place. The adult human body consists of a huge number of cells - approximately 50-75 trillion - and each type of cell has its own “lifespan”.
After a person dies, not all cells die immediately - some of them take a few minutes, others - hours, and others - a day. The rate of cell death is one of the factors used to determine the cause and time of death of a person.
The rate of cell death is one of the factors used to determine the cause and time of death of a person.
The site will review below:
Below are the approximate rates of cell renewal in the human body:
1. Red blood cells (erythrocytes), which carry oxygen, live for about four months.
2. The average lifespan of white blood cells is just over a year. At the same time, the most numerous group of leukocytes - neutrophils - live only a couple of hours, eosinophils - 2-5 days.
3. Platelets live for about 10 days.
4. Lymphocytes are renewed at a rate of 10,000 cells per second.
5. Epidermal cells are renewed approximately every 10-30 days of the week, the skin recovers 4 times faster after minor injuries.
6. The “age” of hair on the head can reach 6 - 7 years. Every day, the hair on your head grows by about 0.5 mm. Hair on other parts of the body - approximately 0.27 mm per day. Eyebrows are renewed every 64 days.
7. The surface of the cornea of the eye is covered with a thin layer of cells, which are constantly renewed over 7-10 days. Retinal cells do not renew themselves, as does the lens of the eye, which is why age-related vision deterioration is a common problem. However, experts are developing methods for retinal regeneration using stem cells.
8. Epithelial cells of the small intestine are renewed every 2-4 days, the colon - approximately every 4 days, the gastric mucosa - about 5 days.
9. Cells in the cerebral cortex, as far as is known today, are not capable of regeneration, unlike hippocampal neurons. Damaged nerve cells can recover to a certain extent if the cell body of the neuron is not damaged.
10. The rate of nerve regeneration after injury is approximately 2-3 mm per day.
11. The average age of a fat cell is 8 years. Every year, 10% of fat cells are replaced by new ones.
12. Liver cell renewal takes approximately 300-500 days. The human liver has an excellent ability to regenerate. If 70% of this organ is removed, it will recover to normal size in just a couple of months. Surgeons even removed 90% of the liver, but recovery in this case was incomplete.
13. Kidney and spleen cells require 300-500 days to renew.
14. Nails grow approximately 3.5 mm each month, although the nail on the little finger grows slower than the others. Toenails grow at a rate of about 1.6 mm per month, with the big toenail growing fastest.
15. The heart is one of the slowest regenerating organs of the human body. In a 25-year-old person, only 1 percent of heart cells are renewed annually; this figure decreases with age. Less than half of the heart cells are renewed over a lifetime.
The heart is one of the slowest regenerating organs in the human body.
16. Taste buds on the tongue are renewed every 10 days.
17. Fingertips can partially regenerate after injury. The best results are observed in children several months after injury. To restore the fingertips, an unaffected nail bed is necessary. The new fingertip is sensitive and has an imprint on it.
18. The mucous membrane of bronchioles is renewed every 2-10 days.
19. Microscopic air sacs - alveoli - are renewed in 11-12 months, and surface cells of the lungs - in 2-3 weeks.
20. Muscle cells are “long-livers”, since their life span is 15 years.
21. Skeletal cells are constantly renewed, but rather slowly - 10% per year, and it takes about 10 years to completely replace skeletal cells.
The fact of body renewal was established back in the early 50s during the observation of the movements of objects with radioactive atoms embedded in them. Jonas Friesen, a molecular biologist from Sweden, has been studying body renewal by measuring levels of radioactive carbon-14.
He discovered that every 7-10 years, most of the body's cells are replaced by new ones. Of course, this figure is arbitrary, taking into account the rate of renewal, for example, of heart and skeletal cells or the lack of the ability to regenerate certain neurons, retinal cells, lens, and oocytes.
However, with age, the body's ability to regenerate decreases, and an effective way to prevent aging and death has not yet been found.
Geneticists believe that the cause of aging is hidden in cellular DNA, or more precisely, in its terminal sections - telomeres. There are several theories of aging, as well as a number of factors influencing this process.
Scientists continue to study the features of body renewal, the causes of aging and methods of preventing this process. the site hopes that one day they will be able to give the world a revolutionary discovery that will make human immortality a reality.
In psychology, it is customary to divide a person’s life into certain periods. In the most general form, our life will consist of the following parts: infancy (from birth to 2 years); earlier childhood (2 - 6 years); middle childhood (6 - 11 years); adolescence and youth (11 - 19 years); early adulthood (20 - 40 years); middle adulthood (40 -60 years); late adulthood (60 - 75 years) and old age (from 75 years).
It is also customary to distinguish age-related crises. Usually, people are widely aware of the 3-year-old crisis (the child actively opposes himself to his parents and declares his desires), the teenage crisis, the crisis at 33 years old (the age of Christ) and the crisis during retirement. In fact, different scientists pay attention to other ages when a person experiences significant psychological changes.
But now I would like to dwell in more detail on the age of 30-35 years, this age is also commonly called the “age” of Christ.
What is a crisis? An age crisis is the transition of a person from one age group to another. Typically, such a transition is associated with certain experiences due to a person’s dissatisfaction with himself and his relationships with others (in adults) or with the acquisition of new qualities (in children). As a result of going through an age crisis, according to Erik Erikson, a person can acquire both positive and negative psychological qualities. It turns out that a crisis is a period when a certain amount of a person’s psychological characteristics transforms into a new quality of his personality.
Now we will dwell in more detail on the characteristics of people during early adulthood. Sigmund Freud believed that a person's well-being in adulthood is determined by his ability to love and work. The success of an adult’s life path is closely related to his family relationships and work activities.
A young man entering adulthood is faced with the need to choose and solve many problems, among which the most important are choosing a professional path, starting a family and having children. It is these events that require the adoption of special decisions, due to which previously established views are supported, expanded or undermined and new motives of behavior are formed.
With age, the impulsiveness of a person’s behavior begins to decrease, and awareness of external and internal circumstances increases. With age, people begin to make more informed decisions and social maturation of the individual occurs.
At the age of 30, you choose your own life strategy. Young men and women plan their lives differently. Girls think more about marriage and career, with the main focus being on their future family. Typically, girls are more socially mature and earlier than boys are ready for family life with its restrictions and responsibilities, the ability to correlate their desires with the needs of another person, with the need to build intimate relationships not only sexually, but also socially.
By establishing a special intimate relationship, a person gets the opportunity to take care of someone, be responsible for someone, and creates conditions for his own safety and security. At the same time, young people have different motives for starting a family. Some researchers identify 5 main motives for which men and women create families: love, spiritual intimacy, material calculation, psychological compliance, moral considerations. Love and spiritual intimacy are considered the most important for marriage. It is the presence of love and spiritual intimacy in marriage that can make the union comfortable for both spouses.
If young people create a family only based on the feeling of falling in love, without taking into account spiritual closeness, then such a union will most likely be doomed and will not be able to exist long enough. This can happen because no matter how much the spouses love each other, in their family they will be forced to fulfill their daily responsibilities. If young people do not want or cannot, in some situations, abandon their “I” in favor of “We,” then the young family risks breaking up without surviving the first years of family life.
According to many psychologists, the peak intensity of divorce occurs between the ages of 25 and 29 years. The study of the motives for divorce made it possible to identify several of the most common:
Most often, young families whose experience of family life is less than 7 years break up, and the first peak of divorces occurs in the first 1-1.5 years of family life. After marriage or from the time they start living together, young people acquire new responsibilities. Young people get to know each other's strengths and weaknesses better.
It is not always possible to predict their subsequent life together based on the relationship between a couple before marriage. American researchers suggest considering the emotions that young people experience when they are together as a forecast for the duration of a relationship in a couple. For example, if young people have a good time together, have something to talk about and spend their free time equally, then we can talk about a good prognosis for their relationship.
The transition through the 30th birthday, to which men and women react differently, is marked by a revision of life goals, plans and values.
For men at this time, it is typical to change jobs or change their lifestyle. The most common reason for leaving a job is dissatisfaction with something in the current position. At the same time, satisfaction with work comes first: with the production environment, work intensity, wages, etc.
Young women also change their priorities after turning 30. Women at a younger age, focused on marriage and raising children, are now beginning to be more attracted to professional goals. At the same time, those who were previously actively involved in their careers, as a rule, try to start a family and have children.
With age, romantic values (love, creativity) are replaced by more practical ones (family, health, material well-being). Self-confidence and awareness of one's own competence, on the one hand, and recognition of limitations and establishing an adequate level of aspirations based on life experience, on the other hand, provide a person with a sense of integrity and satisfaction. People stop believing in miracles and their actions in all areas of life are motivated as follows: “My success is directly related to how much effort I am willing to spend on it.”
Once again, I would like to note that a person’s behavior during this period is associated with professional growth, one’s own family, and the birth and upbringing of children. Spending free time and hobbies allows you to realize your full potential. When a person passes the 30th birthday mark, it allows him to change his life in order to have clear goals and priorities in the future. This is the age of personal flourishing, the time when adjusting life goals allows you to realize your wildest dreams.
Loving yourself and feeling comfortable in your body is especially important in your 30s, as decisions at this age have many consequences. But you can truly love yourself only when you begin to love your surroundings both in your personal life and at work. In addition, when you accept yourself for who you are, you feel incredibly free.
Start each day by applauding and appreciating yourself, saying that you are smart, beautiful, talented and that you give it your all. Be proud and confident in your choices, your likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. And stop surrounding yourself with people who don't make you a better person. Spend time with your loved ones and people who make you feel better. This will teach you to control your emotions and increase your self-esteem.
Happiness, success, joy largely depend on how your personal life develops. So if you want to get married, have kids, or buy a house, your 30s are the right time to achieve those goals. Ask yourself what you can do in a year from now to build the personal life you dream of. And don't hesitate. Putting off family life or children is unwise. If you want kids, have them now before it's too late.
Blogger Mark Manson has a good point about this:
You do not have time. You do not have money. First you need to build a career. They are the end of your measured life... Oh, shut up already. Children are great. They make you better. They make you happier. Don't put them off until later.
Mark Manson
Thirty is also a great time to explore other areas, change careers, and get better at your current passion, be it music, writing, or business. There is nothing worse than putting down roots, forcing yourself to live that life and not being able to pursue your true passion. This situation can be described by the economic term “sunk costs”, when you have to continue investing in something because you have already invested too much in it. It is the cause of many failed careers, failed businesses and many unhappy lives.
Find a job that you really love, where your desires coincide with your skills, where you will get the greatest return.
Once said:
Your work will fill most of your life, and the only way to be completely satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great things is to love what you do.
Steve Jobs
Stop comparing yourself to others. We are all different and we all move at different speeds. This is important, because after turning 30, it is easy to become depressed and deviate from the right path to happiness. Everyone knows that if you compare yourself to others, you can get stressed and all your self-confidence will go down the drain.
Love yourself and continue to take care of yourself. Allow yourself to go through life your own way. “If you live differently from your family and friends, without comparing yourself to them,” says Kay Mahesh, “don’t be hard on yourself.”
Instead of being angry and jealous of others, be calm, friendly and content with what you have. Research shows that when you appreciate what you have, a feeling of happiness appears and negative emotions go away. Of course, we need to strive for the best, but it is important to understand that life does not always work out according to our plans. This knowledge will protect against negative effects arising from unjustified expectations. Be grateful for everything you have, even if you have little.
Chances are, you did a lot of stupid things in your 20s and teen years. Everyone makes mistakes. But now you're 30, and it's time to think about and forgive yourself for all these mistakes. People who engage in self-analysis see their weaknesses and try to avoid similar mistakes in the future.
Learn from your mistakes, forgive them and move on. Don't dwell on past mistakes.
Psychologists say that the ability to forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes is a key factor in achieving success in anything.
Find time to exercise. You will thank yourself in the future. After 35 years, muscle loss begins, and due to a slowdown in metabolism, several extra pounds will appear. This is why it is especially important to start training early.
As many as possible. It doesn’t matter what you do: walking, jogging, hiking, swimming or weightlifting. The main thing is to study. Choose exactly the type of physical activity that you really enjoy: you are less likely to quit halfway through.
Most 30-year-olds spend all their time busy with family matters, their own careers, and in this cycle they forget to maintain relationships with their parents.
Remember that your parents are also getting older and that they are not forever. If you don’t take enough care of them, then there may not be such an opportunity and you will regret it.
Call your parents regularly. Just to find out how you are doing and let them know you're okay. This will support their mental and emotional well-being and make your relationship warmer and stronger. Visit them whenever possible.
Another thing to add to this list is to get into the habit of eating healthy. If you don't start eating at age 30, you will develop health problems at age 40 and later that could have been avoided.
Follow a balanced diet, reduce your intake of carbohydrates and fats, and add more vegetables and fruits to your diet. Avoid processed foods and fast food. Quit smoking and excessive alcohol consumption. And, of course, no drugs. Health should come first, because it is your main wealth.
Don't stop having fun just because you're not 20 anymore. If you spend your 30s chasing money, you'll end up being a sullen, cynical, unhappy person.
All people who have left their 30th birthday far behind say with one voice: no money is worth it if you don’t enjoy life.
So enjoy life and have fun while you can. Go on dates, play with your kids (if you have any), with your friends and see the world. You only live once. So why not live this life the way you want? Enjoy this age, make wonderful memories and don’t forget about your goals.
