Shelley Crane
Imprinted
Imprinting is the consolidation of an image, memory, opinion or idea in memory unusually vividly and for a long time.
Dedicated to Axel
You love me, despite all my troubles and eccentricity.
You are very dear to me, and I am incredibly lucky to have you!
Love you forever!
© Shelly Crane 2010
School of Translation by V. Bakanov, 2014
© Russian edition AST Publishers, 2015
I was waiting for this day to sum up some kind of conclusion: to wrap seventeen years and eight months of my life in bright wrapping paper and hang a bow in the shape of a Confederate woman on top. As if some piece of paper would convince me that I did the right thing.
The graduates were seated in alphabetical order in a huge gymnasium, in full view of everyone. In the front row were those who had something to be proud of. They were looking forward to parties with family and friends, going to college, and dreaming of getting away from their hometown...
I fell into a stupor. I had been waiting for this day for so long, but now I felt nothing: neither a sense of completion, nor pride in my achievements. It’s as if I’m superfluous at this holiday and barely made it to the end of my studies. However, that’s how it was. I couldn't stand school. A special program was drawn up for working students, and we finished at one in the afternoon, and the rest studied until three. So I almost didn’t show up at school, and I wasn’t particularly eager to go.
It sounds bitter, I know it myself. However, I was seventeen, I was finishing my studies as an external student, I was going to win a gold medal and all that, and then so many things piled up... And here I am - gloomy, disappointed and a stranger to everyone.
It all started with the fact that our mother abandoned us... A respectable and thrifty housewife, a constant member of the parent committee, an extra-class pro in cutting out discount coupons. Imagine, she just up and left! It suddenly occurred to her that all these years her dad had not allowed her to develop. Therefore, she decided that she did not love him and that it was time to start a new life in which there was no place for me.
Mom took every last cent of my dad's college savings and ran away to California. Where else if not in the “state of enormous opportunities”! She didn’t stay there either and moved again. Now I don't talk to her. She kept apologizing and saying that she couldn't take it anymore and was now happy that I had no idea what it was like to live with my father. Yeah, of course! To this I noticed: at the moment, of the two of us, I am the one living with him. She immediately hung up.
My mother’s boyfriend, who is ten years younger than her, probably managed to console her.
And then graduation day arrived. I stood and patiently waited for my turn to come, to receive my certificate and to be applauded by the only person who came to support me - my father.
Then I noticed that Kyle turned around and looked at me with a smile.
- Looks like you're on your own wave today. Are you okay?
- Yeah. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.
He leaned his elbows on the back of his chair.
- Come on, it’s graduation! Aren't you happy?
I shrugged.
- Let's go somewhere today? My parents are throwing a stupid party in my honor, but I want to leave early with some excuse.
“Kyle, I’m not an excuse for you!”
He turned pale and frowned.
“Oh, Mags, that’s not what I meant at all!” “He sighed and looked at me confused. “The party will be from five to seven, you and I will have plenty of time.” I was afraid that you would refuse to go on a date with me again, so I tried to invite you as if inadvertently.
- Yah? – I straightened my shoulders. “Kyle, I...” I almost refused him again, but suddenly changed my mind. After my mother trampled my life with her sharp heels, I didn’t date anyone for a whole year. Kyle has always been very nice, and he's probably leaving for college soon. What am I risking? - Okay, let's go somewhere.
- Is it true?! – Kyle couldn’t believe his ears.
- Why not. What time will you be free?
“Is your father throwing a party for you too?”
- No. - Yeah, of course.
- Oh, listen, I’ll send you a text message. I need to first ask my father for a car - mine is being repaired. I think he won't refuse.
“Okay, write down the number,” I answered and reached for the phone.
- No need, I have it.
I looked at Kyle in confusion.
“I asked Rebecca a couple of weeks ago,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I wanted to call, but I didn’t dare.”
I couldn’t help but laugh: he looked as if he had gone into the cupboard for candy without asking. Handsome guy. He doesn’t look like a movie handsome man, his appearance is quite ordinary - dark brown hair, brown eyes. Although we had known each other for many years, we were never alone; there were always a bunch of friends nearby.
- I shouldn’t have decided.
– Would you talk to me?
I didn’t want to lie, or give false hope either, so I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders vaguely, hoping that this would pass for light flirting. It seemed to work—Kyle beamed.
– Great, I’ll write you back in the evening!
- Great! – I nodded, already regretting it.
It was the turn of the graduates sitting in front of Kyle, then he was called.
– Kyle Jacobson!
He turned around, smiled at me and walked onto the stage. There were still eight people ahead of me. As Kyle walked up the steps, his large family cheered loudly, some whistled and shouted words of encouragement. Kyle grabbed his certificate and flexed his muscles, fooling around. Everyone laughed. He bowed to the audience. Kyle was such a joker. His classmates loved him and chose him as the “class clown” for their yearbook. He was successful with girls, but never dated anyone. However, he always treated me with special warmth. Before my family broke up, we were in the same company.
After my mother left, my father, who had served impeccably for fifteen years in the municipal education department, stopped going to work and was fired. Now dad works at the sawmill for a quarter of his previous salary. Therefore, I had to study under a simplified program and find a job - there was sorely not enough money for anything except food.
When I told my mother about this, explained why I had to combine study with work and how badly my father had failed, she noticed that mental suffering combined with physical labor would benefit my dad and me. That's exactly how she put it!
This was the last straw.
That day I decided never to talk to her again.
– Maggie Masters!
I heard my name and looked around. Everyone looked at me, and I realized: this was not the first time they had called me. I was embarrassed, giggled nervously and headed towards the stage. It's strange that they didn't call me Mags, Magster or Magsy. No one ever calls me by my real name.
Having taken the certificate, I turned to my father. No photo for memory, no applause, no smile... He just sat and watched.
I frowned, reached the edge of the stage, and then someone’s hands grabbed me. Familiar hands.
- Congratulations! – he whispered right in my ear.
- Chad, stop it!
- Come on, Mags! “He lowered me to the floor, but did not release his hands and looked pleadingly. – We graduated from school, we need to celebrate it. Let's at least today not think about the past!
I looked up. Tanned skin, brown eyes, dark short curls that any girl would dream of running her fingers through. The pride and beauty of the school football team hugged me as if nothing had happened. How I missed him! But Chad himself left me...
“You’re great at this,” I said sarcastically.
- Maggie! “He sighed heavily, as if I was behaving inappropriately, and I seethed with anger. - Listen, almost a year has passed. If I knew what was going on... about your mom and all that, I would never have left you.
- Hmm, that changes a lot. “I was just dripping with sarcasm.”
– You understood me perfectly. We talked about this often, you knew from the very beginning that I would leave. I thought you yourself realized that we needed to slow down and be just friends for the last year of school. I haven't dated anyone, you know. It wasn't about you.
The real truth. For a whole year, he never went on a date, at least as far as I know. Even to the prom, Chad agreed to go with friends, no girls. Almost the entire football team supported him, and this made my classmates very angry.
- I know. And yet you didn't talk to me for a whole year.
– Maggie, you yourself didn’t answer my calls! You avoided me at lunch, then you started working after school. What was I supposed to do?
Current page: 1 (book has 24 pages total) [available reading passage: 16 pages]
Imprinting is the consolidation of an image, memory, opinion or idea in memory unusually vividly and for a long time.
Dedicated to Axel
You love me, despite all my troubles and eccentricity.
You are very dear to me, and I am incredibly lucky to have you!
Love you forever!
© Shelly Crane 2010
School of Translation by V. Bakanov, 2014
© Russian edition AST Publishers, 2015
I was waiting for this day to sum up some kind of conclusion: to wrap seventeen years and eight months of my life in bright wrapping paper and hang a bow in the shape of a Confederate woman on top. As if some piece of paper would convince me that I did the right thing.
The graduates were seated in alphabetical order in a huge gymnasium, in full view of everyone. In the front row were those who had something to be proud of. They were looking forward to parties with family and friends, going to college, and dreaming of getting away from their hometown...
I fell into a stupor. I had been waiting for this day for so long, but now I felt nothing: neither a sense of completion, nor pride in my achievements. It’s as if I’m superfluous at this holiday and barely made it to the end of my studies. However, that’s how it was. I couldn't stand school. A special program was drawn up for working students, and we finished at one in the afternoon, and the rest studied until three. So I almost didn’t show up at school, and I wasn’t particularly eager to go.
It sounds bitter, I know it myself. However, I was seventeen, I was finishing my studies as an external student, I was going to win a gold medal and all that, and then so many things piled up... And here I am - gloomy, disappointed and a stranger to everyone.
It all started with the fact that our mother abandoned us... A respectable and thrifty housewife, a constant member of the parent committee, an extra-class pro in cutting out discount coupons. Imagine, she just up and left! It suddenly occurred to her that all these years her dad had not allowed her to develop. Therefore, she decided that she did not love him and that it was time to start a new life in which there was no place for me.
Mom took every last cent of my dad's college savings and ran away to California. Where else if not in the “state of enormous opportunities”! She didn’t stay there either and moved again. Now I don't talk to her. She kept apologizing and saying that she couldn't take it anymore and was now happy that I had no idea what it was like to live with my father. Yeah, of course! To this I noticed: at the moment, of the two of us, I am the one living with him. She immediately hung up.
My mother’s boyfriend, who is ten years younger than her, probably managed to console her.
And then graduation day arrived. I stood and patiently waited for my turn to come, to receive my certificate and to be applauded by the only person who came to support me - my father.
Then I noticed that Kyle turned around and looked at me with a smile.
- Looks like you're on your own wave today. Are you okay?
- Yeah. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.
He leaned his elbows on the back of his chair.
- Come on, it’s graduation! Aren't you happy?
I shrugged.
- Let's go somewhere today? My parents are throwing a stupid party in my honor, but I want to leave early with some excuse.
“Kyle, I’m not an excuse for you!”
He turned pale and frowned.
“Oh, Mags, that’s not what I meant at all!” “He sighed and looked at me confused. “The party will be from five to seven, you and I will have plenty of time.” I was afraid that you would refuse to go on a date with me again, so I tried to invite you as if inadvertently.
- Yah? – I straightened my shoulders. “Kyle, I...” I almost refused him again, but suddenly changed my mind. After my mother trampled my life with her sharp heels, I didn’t date anyone for a whole year. Kyle has always been very nice, and he's probably leaving for college soon. What am I risking? - Okay, let's go somewhere.
- Is it true?! – Kyle couldn’t believe his ears.
- Why not. What time will you be free?
“Is your father throwing a party for you too?”
- No. - Yeah, of course.
- Oh, listen, I’ll send you a text message. I need to first ask my father for a car - mine is being repaired. I think he won't refuse.
“Okay, write down the number,” I answered and reached for the phone.
- No need, I have it.
I looked at Kyle in confusion.
“I asked Rebecca a couple of weeks ago,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I wanted to call, but I didn’t dare.”
I couldn’t help but laugh: he looked as if he had gone into the cupboard for candy without asking. Handsome guy. He doesn’t look like a movie handsome man, his appearance is quite ordinary - dark brown hair, brown eyes. Although we had known each other for many years, we were never alone; there were always a bunch of friends nearby.
- I shouldn’t have decided.
– Would you talk to me?
I didn’t want to lie, or give false hope either, so I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders vaguely, hoping that this would pass for light flirting. It seemed to work—Kyle beamed.
– Great, I’ll write you back in the evening!
- Great! – I nodded, already regretting it.
It was the turn of the graduates sitting in front of Kyle, then he was called.
– Kyle Jacobson!
He turned around, smiled at me and walked onto the stage. There were still eight people ahead of me. As Kyle walked up the steps, his large family cheered loudly, some whistled and shouted words of encouragement. Kyle grabbed his certificate and flexed his muscles, fooling around. Everyone laughed. He bowed to the audience. Kyle was such a joker. His classmates loved him and chose him as the “class clown” for their yearbook. He was successful with girls, but never dated anyone. However, he always treated me with special warmth. Before my family broke up, we were in the same company.
After my mother left, my father, who had served impeccably for fifteen years in the municipal education department, stopped going to work and was fired. Now dad works at the sawmill for a quarter of his previous salary. Therefore, I had to study under a simplified program and find a job - there was sorely not enough money for anything except food.
When I told my mother about this, explained why I had to combine study with work and how badly my father had failed, she noticed that mental suffering combined with physical labor would benefit my dad and me. That's exactly how she put it!
This was the last straw.
That day I decided never to talk to her again.
– Maggie Masters!
I heard my name and looked around. Everyone looked at me, and I realized: this was not the first time they had called me. I was embarrassed, giggled nervously and headed towards the stage. It's strange that they didn't call me Mags, Magster or Magsy. No one ever calls me by my real name.
Having taken the certificate, I turned to my father. No photo for memory, no applause, no smile... He just sat and watched.
I frowned, reached the edge of the stage, and then someone’s hands grabbed me. Familiar hands.
- Congratulations! – he whispered right in my ear.
- Chad, stop it!
- Come on, Mags! “He lowered me to the floor, but did not release his hands and looked pleadingly. – We graduated from school, we need to celebrate it. Let's at least today not think about the past!
I looked up. Tanned skin, brown eyes, dark short curls that any girl would dream of running her fingers through. The pride and beauty of the school football team hugged me as if nothing had happened. How I missed him! But Chad himself left me...
“You’re great at this,” I said sarcastically.
- Maggie! “He sighed heavily, as if I was behaving inappropriately, and I seethed with anger. - Listen, almost a year has passed. If I knew what was going on... about your mom and all that, I would never have left you.
- Hmm, that changes a lot. “I was just dripping with sarcasm.”
– You understood me perfectly. We talked about this often, you knew from the very beginning that I would leave. I thought you yourself realized that we needed to slow down and be just friends for the last year of school. I haven't dated anyone, you know. It wasn't about you.
The real truth. For a whole year, he never went on a date, at least as far as I know. Even to the prom, Chad agreed to go with friends, no girls. Almost the entire football team supported him, and this made my classmates very angry.
- I know. And yet you didn't talk to me for a whole year.
– Maggie, you yourself didn’t answer my calls! You avoided me at lunch, then you started working after school. What was I supposed to do?
Chad is right. The only conversation took place a month after our breakup and my mother’s departure. We had a big fight. Coincidentally, three days after my mother left, Chad made a decision for the two of us, regardless of my opinion.
I said then that he acted vilely, choosing the most inopportune moment. He replied that he was sorry and decided to replay everything. He even tried to kiss me, but it was too late.
I missed Chad. He was a good guy, but he did everything at the wrong time, and I was terribly offended. I was angry that he abandoned me for his grand plans. Everyone abandoned me! I tried to maintain at least a semblance of calm.
“You’re right,” I agreed. – I needed you more than ever! I wanted to be with you, but I would never beg you to come back.
- Stupid, you didn’t have to beg me at all! – Chad said hoarsely and pulled me towards him. - Mags, forgive me! I thought if we remained friends it would be easier. I knew it was difficult to leave. Look at me. “I sighed heavily and raised my head. “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you!” I miss you so much...
- Chad, stop it, okay? I'm ashamed of my behavior, but it doesn't change anything. You're leaving anyway. Florida and the university football team are waiting for you!
- I know. I'm so sorry we lost our last year. I'm sorry!
- And you me. “I barely found the strength in myself and reluctantly freed myself from his embrace. - I have to go.
- Please write! Or call, send text messages - just don’t get lost! I miss you. I never thought that we would stop talking to each other altogether. I need to know how you are doing.
- Okay, I’ll write. Congratulations on your acceptance to the University of Florida! I always knew you could do it.
-Thank you, Mags. By the way, I still love you,” he whispered and kissed me on the cheek.
I could barely control myself.
I looked after him: he was backing away, not taking his eyes off me. A certificate is in hand, the graduate’s black robe flutters in the wind. Chad waved sadly and headed to his truck. As much as the day was not going well, it became even lousier.
“I can’t imagine how you eat this disgusting thing,” said the father. We used to joke together about my love for honey buns, but now he openly mocked me. – All sugar and carbohydrates. Can you imagine how many calories there are?!
– Do you think it’s time for me to lose weight?
We sat in the dining nook, which barely fits two people. After receiving our certificates, we immediately went home. We drove in silence. Dad didn’t say a word other than “congratulations.” For an hour now I had been looking at my phone impatiently, waiting for a text message from Kyle. I never thought that I would be counting down the minutes until I met him, but I was ready to do anything just to get out of the house.
Kyle was silent for now, but a message came from Bish.
“Congratulations, baby! It’s a terrible pity that I couldn’t come: the boss was swamped with work, and interns weren’t supposed to show up. I love you, I can't wait to meet you! I promise to come and visit you soon.”
“I didn’t say anything like that,” my father grumbled, not allowing me to relax and enjoy my brother’s congratulations. -You're overdramatizing everything. I meant that they are of no use.
– Dad, like thousands of other Americans, I eat these buns every day for as long as I can remember! I assure you, they are not poisonous at all.
– Your sarcasm is inappropriate. You need to watch your weight, otherwise one day it will be too late. Your mother says...
– Your remark is also inappropriate, dad! I don't care what this woman imagined. She left and therefore lost her right to vote! She doesn't care about me at all!
My mother always teased me about my weight. Once upon a time it seemed to me that this was a manifestation of maternal care. Now I'm not sure of anything.
My height is average. My mom always said that I needed to be more active in sports, to return to the school cheerleading team. I was into athletics, but my mom thought a cheerleader skirt looked much better than running shorts.
I've always liked my body. I'm not fat at all. And I'm not one of those girls who whine, complain about life and get hysterical every time they put on a swimsuit. And those around me never complained. Especially Chad: he always said that he liked my healthy appetite and the fact that I didn’t bother talking about my weight. Apart from my mother, no one even thought of talking about it. I have nothing else to do but develop complexes in myself because of this neurasthenic woman! And now dad is also involved...
- She doesn't care. We just did something wrong with you, and she felt bad with us. She wouldn't have left if we were more...
- Which ones, dad? Ideal?
- You know what I mean.
- Not at all! You can't love a person for what he can give you! You can't love him because of what he does for you, or because he's handsome! Love is blind, love is not exalted, is not proud! Remember, dad?
– Maggie, I read the Bible too. But why on earth did you remember about God?
Oh! During the whole year, my dad and I never went to church.
“Mom loved us, but we couldn’t show her how much we loved her, and she left.” We let her down! – the father concluded with a sigh.
I jumped up, forgetting that Kyle never wrote. A pitiful, embittered man sat in front of me with a sullen look. His face is pale, his black hair, which has not been washed for a long time, is combed back, his dark blue shirt is wrinkled.
– Dad, I, of course, love you, but I don’t want to take her blame on myself! I'm going for a walk with a friend, I won't be back very late.
- With Chad?
- No. Chad is packing his bags.
- Well, so much the better for him. You knew this would happen. There's a lot to learn from this guy. In my opinion, you are not a match for him. It wouldn't have worked out for you anyway. Come down to earth, Maggie! “You demand too much from others,” he muttered.
- Whatever you say, dad. Bye!
Without waiting for an answer, I jumped out of the room. On the way, she grabbed a khaki windbreaker from the hanger, put her phone in her pocket and walked up to the huge mirror in a massive silver frame that hung in the hallway. I remember my mother found it in some antique store, and my dad barely managed to put this rarity in the car. I stood and looked at the brown hair, slightly curly at the ends and falling on the shoulders, at the green eyes, at the freckles scattered across my tanned face. Not a real beauty, but is that why everyone is leaving me?..
I rummaged through my backpack for the ten, put it in my pocket along with my cell phone, and walked out the door.
It was cold and damp outside. Fog swirled in the air, and halos shone around the street lamps. I walked down Broad Street, next was Main Street. I lived in the center all my life. I don’t have a car, because I don’t need it at all - I can walk everywhere. For example, the cafe where I work is only five blocks away.
However, I was not heading to the cafe at all. I had no idea where to go so as not to stay at home. The father has changed beyond recognition. We used to get along great: we played everything, went to the movies, cooked all sorts of things, raked fallen leaves in the yard. Typical family from a nice area, typical Tennessee people. Then my mother left, and it was as if my father had been replaced. He had never talked about my weight or calories before (nothing to talk about). The former father would not have stood by and watched his daughter receive her diploma. And he certainly wouldn’t have allowed me to go to work to provide myself with everything I needed, while he himself was giving in to despondency and didn’t want anything. He became completely different, and I really missed him as before.
I have an older brother, Bish, who has been living on his own for a long time. My parents adopted him when I was eight. Bish was sixteen, he wandered from one foster family to another and no longer hoped that he would have a real family.
I liked him right away, and so did I. I followed him, and he was happy. We played with him, he always took me with him when he went shopping. I helped him make friends with the Sunday school kids because he had never been to church. And then he went to art college and went to New York, where he got a job as an intern in a law office under the supervision of a terrible bore. Since then we rarely see each other. We just correspond, but he is always terribly busy, and it’s very difficult for me to think of what to tell him, except how lousy it is without him.
I reached the traffic light and waited for the light to turn green. A guy wearing headphones loomed in front of me. With his hands in his pockets, he shook his head slightly to the tune, then he saw me, smiled slightly and nodded. I checked my phone again, but Kyle hadn't texted yet. And what do I care about him? I didn’t really want to go on a date with Kyle, and yet I couldn’t get rid of thoughts about him.
I need to drink coffee. If Kyle doesn't show up, I'll just sit, read something on my phone, and go home. I put my cell phone in my pocket and looked at the road. Just in time! The light turned green, the guy stepped forward, forgetting to look around. And then suddenly a huge red truck appeared. The driver was turning right, but for some reason looked to the left.
Everything happened so quickly that there was no time left to think. I reacted instantly: I rushed forward, grabbed the guy by the jacket and pulled him towards me with all my might. The truck sped past. We both fell to the ground. The guy fell from above, hitting me in the face with his backpack. The pain took my breath away.
There was a squeal of brakes and the truck stopped abruptly. The driver leaned out of the window, shouted something about stupid children, only he put it stronger, and took off.
The guy instantly rolled to the side, pulled out his headphones and stared at me, stunned.
- How are you?
“It seems normal,” I moaned.
- What a bungler I am! You... you saved my life!
- You're welcome. Glad I was nearby.
The guy moved closer and brushed my hair away from my forehead.
- You got hurt! – he exclaimed sadly.
- Is it true? “I touched my forehead and winced: my fingers were bleeding, but it didn’t hurt. It's probably okay. - Looks like it. Nonsense, scratch.
I tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me.
- Wait a minute! We need to call an ambulance. If anything happens to you because of me...
“There’s no need to call anyone, I’m completely fine.”
The guy frowned. In the soft light of the lanterns he was especially beautiful: tall, his hair was dark and tangled, curling on his forehead and near his ears, his eyes were either blue or light brown - you couldn’t tell. He nervously bit his incredibly beautiful lips, thinking intensely. He was wearing a gray hoodie with "Tennessee VOLS," the name of his college team, written across the chest in large orange letters. Another athlete on my head!
I remembered Chad. He was eager to go to Florida, to the Gators team, although the University of Tennessee was right next door. You see, his father studied in Florida, and Chad decided to continue the family tradition. It looked like he didn’t want to make any compromises for my sake.
Our eyes met. We literally couldn't take our eyes off each other. Then he smiled from the corner of his mouth, and it completely took my breath away.
- Let me take you to the hospital myself. “The guy brushed my hair off my forehead again and leaned closer. I took my breath away, and so did he. He looked me straight in the eyes. “It doesn’t seem to be a big deal, but let’s call your friends or parents anyway.” I will be calmer!
“There’s no one to call,” I muttered and immediately regretted it. “Really, I’m fine.”
– I’m so glad that you were nearby! After all, I almost died! Sorry for hitting you in the face with that stupid backpack! By the way, you have the right grip,” he smiled.
I looked at him as if enchanted, could not take my eyes off and was silent.
He smiled even wider.
“Hmm, thank you,” I finally responded, coming to my senses. -Are you okay yourself?
The guy nodded.
- So there is no one to call? Parents? Boyfriend?
– Father won’t come, I and my boyfriend... Well, we broke up. There's no point in calling him.
– Do you think he won’t come?
- He’ll come running! That's why I don't want to call.
The guy was embarrassed and happy at the same time.
- Okay, it's up to you. I think you weren’t hurt too badly and there was no concussion.
“Honestly, I’m fine!” Sorry for the delay,” I muttered and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
- Are you joking?! You saved my life! Let me at least take you where you were going. “He gently took my hand and helped me up. - Everything is fine? Birds or stars don't flash before your eyes?
- Everything is fine.
-Where were you going?
- I have no idea. Nowhere. I just desperately needed to leave home. They should call me.
– Did you go to graduation?
- Yes, I graduated from school today.
- Is it true? You look too young for a graduate.
“I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks.” Graduated as an external student.
- Clear. This means that a very gifted girl saved me! – the guy grinned.
- Nothing like this! – I laughed. – I loved studying, especially writing tests. “He was noticeably surprised. – I know, it sounds strange. I'm such a weirdo. I just liked it, that's all.
- And now you don’t like it?
- It's a long story. This school year did not go well right away.
The guy nodded and decided not to go into details.
“You know, you’re not a weirdo.” “He leaned towards me and whispered: “I like to solve geometry problems at speed.” Simply adore!
I raised my eyebrows playfully and opened my mouth.
- Amazing!
- Still would.
- Maybe you're the weirdo?
We laughed, then smiled at each other.
- Well, will you allow me to accompany you?
- Everything is fine with me. Where were you going?
“My uncle lives a couple of blocks from here.” His son, my cousin, also graduated from school today. I came with my parents to celebrate together. Well, you know how it happens.
“Yeah,” I said, having no idea what it would be like to get the whole family together and enjoy graduation together. -What's your brother's name?
– Kyle Jacobson
I looked at him dumbfounded.
– Is Kyle your cousin?
- Well, yes. do you know each other? Oh yes, you are classmates.
“Kyle and I have been friends since we can remember. That's what I'm waiting for. He said that your party will take place from five to seven.
- Right. I went out to get some air: it’s hard to bear so many Jacobsons in one house. – The guy put his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders embarrassedly. “So Kyle is going on a date with you?” He's already buzzing my ears.
- This is not a date! However, I don’t know... We are just friends. He is so cute!
“I don’t know about you, but he definitely thinks you’re on a date.” And believe me, he wants to become more than a friend to you.
He smiled sadly. I bit my lip.
- Oh, I didn’t mean that at all! I wanted to get out somewhere, Kyle had invited me for a walk before. This time I simply did not refuse him. Understand?
The guy nodded and rubbed his neck thoughtfully. A strand of hair fell on his forehead, and I wanted to remove it. My fingers naturally reached out to him, but I controlled myself and clenched my fist tightly. I'm not some stupid girl who loses her head at the sight of a cute boy! And I will never become one!
“I’m going back to the house anyway, so let’s go together.” Kyle will be happy.
It seems that such a prospect did not smile on both of us. Before, I didn’t like anyone except Chad, and I was drawn to this blue-eyed guy like a magnet.
- Okay, but he and I are just friends. I've never been to his house. Do you think he won't be angry if I show up uninvited?
- In no case!
We headed to Kyle's house. It was much more pleasant to walk in the dark together.
– What course are you in? – I asked to break the pause.
– Switched to the second one. I'm studying to be an architect.
- Is it true? Great! Is that why you like geometry?
He smiled and nodded.
– Have you already chosen where to go?
I sighed.
– To be honest, I haven’t figured it out yet. This year my studies have been worse than ever, with admission everything is unclear. I have no idea what to do now. My father... I should be there now. For now I’m working in a cafe, but we’ll see.
– Listen, caring for loved ones is sometimes much more important than loving yourself. You're doing great, helping your father when he really needs it!
For the first time in the whole year, something good was said to me.
- Thank you! You can’t even imagine how important it is for me to hear these exact words! – I exclaimed and smiled embarrassedly.
The guy smiled back, held my hand and brushed my hair off my forehead again to check the scratch. I looked into his eyes. No matter how hot my cheeks are, I will never look away. I will never lose my head! He looked down at me, still touching my hair, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. He narrowed his eyes, watching my reaction. I licked my lips nervously. The guy flashed his eyes, immediately turned away and lowered his hand.
- Looks better. I think everything will be fine. Hey Kyle, look who I brought!
I turned around and saw Kyle, who glared angrily at his brother.
- I see it myself. do you know each other?
- No, but today your friend saved my life! “The guy nodded in my direction and smiled. Then he turned his gaze to Kyle, who was very skeptical. “I was almost hit by a truck, and she pulled me right out from under the wheels.” If it weren't for her, I would definitely die!
Kyle stared at me in amazement.
- This is true?
“Oh, I didn’t do anything special,” I waved it off.
- Mags, I don’t believe you! “Kyle rushed to me and hugged me tightly, easily lifting me off the ground. He clearly wanted to annoy his brother. However, he immediately understood everything, rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. - Let's go home quickly! You need to tell Aunt Rachel how you saved her son!
- No, I won’t go into the house. I'm not in the mood to talk to a bunch of people.
“Okay,” Kyle reluctantly retreated. “I was just about to write to you.” Sorry, the party ran a little long. We were waiting for someone, and he was late. Now I see that he had something to do.
- Better late than never! – I recited and suddenly became embarrassed.
Kyle raised an eyebrow, but his cousin laughed heartily.
– She got you, didn’t she? “He patted Kyle on the back. “It’s nice to see that you care so much about me.”
- Yah you! So, Mags, are you ready? – Kyle asked.
I didn't know what to answer. I really didn’t want to leave the guy I saved, but I couldn’t invite him with me either - it was like a black cat ran between the brothers. I looked at him, he looked at me. He didn't want me to leave either, and that made the butterflies in my stomach race faster.
“Well, yes, of course,” I muttered.
- Fine. I took the keys, let's go.
- Wait a minute. “I walked up to his brother, who was standing a little further away, and looked into his eyes. He was a whole head taller than me. “I’m very glad that I was at that crossroads on time.”
- Me too. Thank you! If you need anything - new skates, ice cream, a donor kidney - just let me know!
I laughed and tucked a stray strand behind my ear. The guy grinned and shuffled his foot embarrassedly.
- Necessarily. By the way, my name is Maggie. “I extended my hand and smiled.
“Maggie,” he repeated, and I bit my lip when I heard my name from his lips. - And I'm Caleb.
He touched my hand and it was like an electric shock. I even suffocated.
I've never experienced anything like this, not even with Chad. It felt like fire was running through my veins, as if I was standing in water with a hairdryer turned on in my hands. I stopped breathing, and my own blood seemed icy compared to my burning skin. The eyelids fluttered with pleasure mixed with pain. Images flashed, bright as flashes.
Here I am standing on the porch, tanned arms are hugging me from behind, a curly dark-haired head is leaning towards me, they are kissing me on the neck. Then the picture changed to another: I’m running away from someone, but I’m not scared, I’m laughing. I look around and see a dark-haired young man, he grabs me, throws me over his shoulder, and I squeal with joy. In the background is a house with a “For Sale” sign, “Sold” written below it, and a truck parked nearby.
Then a young man and a girl walk along the dazzling white sand. The young man gestures animatedly and touches a prickly cactus. I kiss my sore finger and drag my companion into the house. We enter the bedroom through glass double doors. He pushes me onto the bed and falls next to me, then kisses me frantically.
But here I am shaking hands with a tanned, dark-haired young man. We have a mixture of pleasure, embarrassment and delight on our faces. He smiles at me as if he understood everything, and it’s all me.
I came to my senses, suddenly realizing that this was happening here and now, and not in my strange dreams. I stood and looked at Caleb.
He, too, did not take his eyes off me, but he smiled as enthusiastically as in my visions.
“It’s you,” he whispered in amazement. - You are my betrothed!
- What's happening? – Kyle interrupted.
I heard the question, but I couldn’t tear myself away from the blue eyes looking at me with endless desire.
Caleb stepped closer and took my face in his hands. Calm and warmth immediately washed over me.
- Breathe, Maggie. “I took a deep breath and gasped. My head became a little clearer. Caleb smiled. - Everything will be fine! Understood? The main thing is don’t be afraid!
- What are you doing? – Kyle was indignant and pushed Caleb away.
At that very moment I felt cold and uncomfortable, I immediately suffocated.
- Dude, that won’t work! - Kyle yelled. - Look, I understand - she saved your life, and you... What the hell, I told you about her! You can't just go and...
“Kyle, she’s the one,” Caleb interrupted, not taking his eyes off me. It felt like an eternity had passed since he first took my hand, but I still felt a strange tremor in my veins. - That's her!
- What? – Kyle exclaimed angrily. - That can’t be true! You barely... barely know each other! You're making fun of me!
He sighed heavily and ruffled his hair with both hands.
- What's happening? – I asked quietly.
Kyle was upset and angry. Caleb looked at me with awe and delight. He stepped towards me, but this time he didn’t touch me.
“Maggie, we have a lot to talk about.”
“Not today, Caleb,” Kyle intervened and stepped between us. “She has no idea what you’re talking about.” You'll scare her!
- I won’t scare you. Deep down she knows me and I know her. Kyle, everything is exactly as we were told! I can hear her heart beating.
Kyle cursed and shook his head.
- What nonsense! I can't believe it! You knew exactly how I felt and you did it anyway!
Imprinting is the consolidation of an image, memory, opinion or idea in memory unusually vividly and for a long time.
Dedicated to Axel
You love me, despite all my troubles and eccentricity.
You are very dear to me, and I am incredibly lucky to have you!
Love you forever!
© Shelly Crane 2010
School of Translation by V. Bakanov, 2014
© Russian edition AST Publishers, 2015
I was waiting for this day to sum up some kind of conclusion: to wrap seventeen years and eight months of my life in bright wrapping paper and hang a bow in the shape of a Confederate woman on top. As if some piece of paper would convince me that I did the right thing.
The graduates were seated in alphabetical order in a huge gymnasium, in full view of everyone. In the front row were those who had something to be proud of. They were looking forward to parties with family and friends, going to college, and dreaming of getting away from their hometown...
I fell into a stupor. I had been waiting for this day for so long, but now I felt nothing: neither a sense of completion, nor pride in my achievements. It’s as if I’m superfluous at this holiday and barely made it to the end of my studies. However, that’s how it was. I couldn't stand school. A special program was drawn up for working students, and we finished at one in the afternoon, and the rest studied until three. So I almost didn’t show up at school, and I wasn’t particularly eager to go.
It sounds bitter, I know it myself. However, I was seventeen, I was finishing my studies as an external student, I was going to win a gold medal and all that, and then so many things piled up... And here I am - gloomy, disappointed and a stranger to everyone.
It all started with the fact that our mother abandoned us... A respectable and thrifty housewife, a constant member of the parent committee, an extra-class pro in cutting out discount coupons. Imagine, she just up and left! It suddenly occurred to her that all these years her dad had not allowed her to develop. Therefore, she decided that she did not love him and that it was time to start a new life in which there was no place for me.
Mom took every last cent of my dad's college savings and ran away to California. Where else if not in the “state of enormous opportunities”! She didn’t stay there either and moved again. Now I don't talk to her. She kept apologizing and saying that she couldn't take it anymore and was now happy that I had no idea what it was like to live with my father. Yeah, of course! To this I noticed: at the moment, of the two of us, I am the one living with him. She immediately hung up.
My mother’s boyfriend, who is ten years younger than her, probably managed to console her.
And then graduation day arrived. I stood and patiently waited for my turn to come, to receive my certificate and to be applauded by the only person who came to support me - my father.
Then I noticed that Kyle turned around and looked at me with a smile.
- Looks like you're on your own wave today. Are you okay?
- Yeah. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.
He leaned his elbows on the back of his chair.
- Come on, it’s graduation! Aren't you happy?
I shrugged.
- Let's go somewhere today? My parents are throwing a stupid party in my honor, but I want to leave early with some excuse.
“Kyle, I’m not an excuse for you!”
He turned pale and frowned.
“Oh, Mags, that’s not what I meant at all!” “He sighed and looked at me confused. “The party will be from five to seven, you and I will have plenty of time.” I was afraid that you would refuse to go on a date with me again, so I tried to invite you as if inadvertently.
- Yah? – I straightened my shoulders. “Kyle, I...” I almost refused him again, but suddenly changed my mind. After my mother trampled my life with her sharp heels, I didn’t date anyone for a whole year. Kyle has always been very nice, and he's probably leaving for college soon. What am I risking? - Okay, let's go somewhere.
- Is it true?! – Kyle couldn’t believe his ears.
- Why not. What time will you be free?
“Is your father throwing a party for you too?”
- No. - Yeah, of course.
- Oh, listen, I’ll send you a text message. I need to first ask my father for a car - mine is being repaired. I think he won't refuse.
“Okay, write down the number,” I answered and reached for the phone.
- No need, I have it.
I looked at Kyle in confusion.
“I asked Rebecca a couple of weeks ago,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I wanted to call, but I didn’t dare.”
I couldn’t help but laugh: he looked as if he had gone into the cupboard for candy without asking. Handsome guy. He doesn’t look like a movie handsome man, his appearance is quite ordinary - dark brown hair, brown eyes. Although we had known each other for many years, we were never alone; there were always a bunch of friends nearby.
- I shouldn’t have decided.
– Would you talk to me?
I didn’t want to lie, or give false hope either, so I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders vaguely, hoping that this would pass for light flirting. It seemed to work—Kyle beamed.
– Great, I’ll write you back in the evening!
- Great! – I nodded, already regretting it.
It was the turn of the graduates sitting in front of Kyle, then he was called.
– Kyle Jacobson!
He turned around, smiled at me and walked onto the stage. There were still eight people ahead of me. As Kyle walked up the steps, his large family cheered loudly, some whistled and shouted words of encouragement. Kyle grabbed his certificate and flexed his muscles, fooling around. Everyone laughed. He bowed to the audience. Kyle was such a joker. His classmates loved him and chose him as the “class clown” for their yearbook. He was successful with girls, but never dated anyone. However, he always treated me with special warmth. Before my family broke up, we were in the same company.
After my mother left, my father, who had served impeccably for fifteen years in the municipal education department, stopped going to work and was fired. Now dad works at the sawmill for a quarter of his previous salary. Therefore, I had to study under a simplified program and find a job - there was sorely not enough money for anything except food.
When I told my mother about this, explained why I had to combine study with work and how badly my father had failed, she noticed that mental suffering combined with physical labor would benefit my dad and me. That's exactly how she put it!
This was the last straw.
That day I decided never to talk to her again.
– Maggie Masters!
I heard my name and looked around. Everyone looked at me, and I realized: this was not the first time they had called me. I was embarrassed, giggled nervously and headed towards the stage. It's strange that they didn't call me Mags, Magster or Magsy. No one ever calls me by my real name.
Having taken the certificate, I turned to my father. No photo for memory, no applause, no smile... He just sat and watched.
I frowned, reached the edge of the stage, and then someone’s hands grabbed me. Familiar hands.
- Congratulations! – he whispered right in my ear.
- Chad, stop it!
- Come on, Mags! “He lowered me to the floor, but did not release his hands and looked pleadingly. – We graduated from school, we need to celebrate it. Let's at least today not think about the past!
I looked up. Tanned skin, brown eyes, dark short curls that any girl would dream of running her fingers through. The pride and beauty of the school football team hugged me as if nothing had happened. How I missed him! But Chad himself left me...
“You’re great at this,” I said sarcastically.
- Maggie! “He sighed heavily, as if I was behaving inappropriately, and I seethed with anger. - Listen, almost a year has passed. If I knew what was going on... about your mom and all that, I would never have left you.
Shelley Crane
Imprinted
Imprinting is the consolidation of an image, memory, opinion or idea in memory unusually vividly and for a long time.
Dedicated to Axel
You love me, despite all my troubles and eccentricity.
You are very dear to me, and I am incredibly lucky to have you!
Love you forever!
I was waiting for this day to sum up some kind of conclusion: to wrap seventeen years and eight months of my life in bright wrapping paper and hang a bow in the shape of a Confederate woman on top. As if some piece of paper would convince me that I did the right thing.
The graduates were seated in alphabetical order in a huge gymnasium, in full view of everyone. In the front row were those who had something to be proud of. They were looking forward to parties with family and friends, going to college, and dreaming of getting away from their hometown...
I fell into a stupor. I had been waiting for this day for so long, but now I felt nothing: neither a sense of completion, nor pride in my achievements. It’s as if I’m superfluous at this holiday and barely made it to the end of my studies. However, that’s how it was. I couldn't stand school. A special program was drawn up for working students, and we finished at one in the afternoon, and the rest studied until three. So I almost didn’t show up at school, and I wasn’t particularly eager to go.
It sounds bitter, I know it myself. However, I was seventeen, I was finishing my studies as an external student, I was going for a gold medal and all that, and then so many things piled up... And here I am - gloomy, disappointed and a stranger to everyone.
It all started with the fact that our mother abandoned us... A respectable and thrifty housewife, a constant member of the parent committee, an extra-class pro in cutting out discount coupons. Imagine, she just up and left! It suddenly occurred to her that all these years her dad had not allowed her to develop. Therefore, she decided that she did not love him and that it was time to start a new life in which there was no place for me.
Mom took every last cent of my dad's college savings and ran away to California. Where else if not in the “state of enormous opportunities”! She didn’t stay there either and moved again. Now I don't talk to her. She kept apologizing and saying that she couldn't take it anymore and was now happy that I had no idea what it was like to live with my father. Yeah, of course! To this I noticed: at the moment, of the two of us, I am the one living with him. She immediately hung up.
My mother’s boyfriend, who is ten years younger than her, probably managed to console her.
And then graduation day arrived. I stood and patiently waited for my turn to come, to receive my certificate and to be applauded by the only person who came to support me - my father.
Then I noticed that Kyle turned around and looked at me with a smile.
Looks like you're on your own wave today. Are you okay?
Yeah. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.
He leaned his elbows on the back of his chair.
Come on, it's prom! Aren't you happy?
I shrugged.
Let's go somewhere today? My parents are throwing a stupid party in my honor, but I want to leave early with some excuse.
Kyle, I'm not your excuse!
He turned pale and frowned.
Oh, Mags, that's not what I meant at all! - He sighed and looked at me confused. - The party will be from five to seven, you and I will have plenty of time left. I was afraid that you would refuse to go on a date with me again, so I tried to invite you as if inadvertently.
Yah? - I straightened my shoulders. - Kyle, I... - I almost refused him again, but suddenly changed my mind. After my mother trampled my life with her sharp heels, I didn’t date anyone for a whole year. Kyle has always been very nice, and he's probably leaving for college soon. What am I risking? - Okay, let's go somewhere.
Is it true?! - Kyle couldn’t believe his ears.
Why not. What time will you be free?
Is your father throwing a party for you too?
No. - Yeah, of course.
Oh, listen, I'll send you a text message. I need to first ask my father for a car - mine is being repaired. I think he won't refuse.
“Okay, write down the number,” I answered and reached for the phone.
No need, I have it.
I looked at Kyle in confusion.
I asked Rebecca a couple of weeks ago,” he chuckled sheepishly. - I wanted to call, but I didn’t dare.
I couldn’t help but laugh: he looked as if he had gone into the cupboard for candy without asking. Handsome guy. He doesn’t look like a movie handsome man, his appearance is quite ordinary - dark brown hair, brown eyes. Although we had known each other for many years, we were never alone; there were always a bunch of friends nearby.
I shouldn't have decided.
Would you talk to me?
I didn’t want to lie, or give false hope either, so I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders vaguely, hoping that this would pass for light flirting. It seemed to work - Kyle beamed.
Great, I'll report back in the evening!
Great! - I nodded, already regretting it.
It was the turn of the graduates sitting in front of Kyle, then he was called.
Kyle Jacobson!
He turned around, smiled at me and walked onto the stage. There were still eight people ahead of me. As Kyle walked up the steps, his large family cheered loudly, some whistled and shouted words of encouragement. Kyle grabbed his certificate and flexed his muscles, fooling around. Everyone laughed. He bowed to the audience. Kyle was such a joker. His classmates loved him and chose him as the “class clown” for their yearbook. He was successful with girls, but never dated anyone. However, he always treated me with special warmth. Before my family broke up, we were in the same company.
After my mother left, my father, who had served impeccably for fifteen years in the municipal education department, stopped going to work and was fired. Now dad works at the sawmill for a quarter of his previous salary. Therefore, I had to study under a simplified program and find a job - there was sorely not enough money for anything except food.
When I told my mother about this, explained why I had to combine study with work and how badly my father had failed, she noticed that mental suffering combined with physical labor would benefit my dad and me. That's exactly how she put it!
This was the last straw.
That day I decided never to talk to her again.
Maggie Masters!
I heard my name and looked around. Everyone looked at me, and I realized: this was not the first time they had called me. I was embarrassed, giggled nervously and headed towards the stage. It's strange that they didn't call me Mags, Magster or Magsy. No one ever calls me by my real name.
Having taken the certificate, I turned to my father. No photo for memory, no applause, no smile... He just sat and watched.
I frowned, reached the edge of the stage, and then someone’s hands grabbed me. Familiar hands.
Congratulations! - he whispered right in my ear.
Chad, stop it!
Come on, Mags! - He lowered me to the floor, but did not release his hands and looked pleadingly. - We graduated from school, we need to celebrate it. Let's at least today not think about the past!
I looked up. Tanned skin, brown eyes, dark short curls that any girl would dream of running her fingers through. The pride and beauty of the school football team hugged me as if nothing had happened. How I missed him! But Chad himself left me...
“You’re great at it,” I said sarcastically.
Maggie! “He sighed heavily, as if I was behaving inappropriately, and I seethed with anger. - Listen, almost a year has passed. If I knew what was going on... about your mom and all that, I would never have left you.
Hmm, that changes a lot. - I was just exuding sarcasm.
You understood me perfectly. We talked about this often, you knew from the very beginning that I would leave. I thought you yourself realized that we needed to slow down and be just friends for the last year of school. I haven't dated anyone, you know. It wasn't about you.
The real truth. For a whole year, he never went on a date, at least as far as I know. Even to the prom, Chad agreed to go with friends, no girls. Almost the entire football team supported him, and this made my classmates very angry.
I know. And yet you didn't talk to me for a whole year.
Maggie, you didn't answer my calls! You avoided me at lunch, then you started working after school. What was I supposed to do?
Chad is right. The only conversation took place a month after our breakup and my mother’s departure. We had a big fight. Coincidentally, three days after my mother left, Chad made a decision for the two of us, regardless of my opinion.
I said then that he acted vilely, choosing the most inopportune moment. He replied that he was sorry and decided to replay everything. He even tried to kiss me, but it was too late.
I missed Chad. He was a good guy, but he did everything at the wrong time, and I was terribly offended. I was angry that he abandoned me for his grand plans. Everyone abandoned me! I tried to maintain at least a semblance of calm.
“You’re right,” I agreed. - I needed you more than ever! I wanted to be with you, but I would never beg you to come back.
Stupid, you didn't have to beg me at all! - Chad said hoarsely and pulled me towards him. - Mags, forgive me! I thought if we remained friends it would be easier. I knew it was difficult to leave. Look at me. - I sighed heavily and raised my head. - The last thing I wanted was to hurt you! I miss you so much...
Chad, stop it, will you? I'm ashamed of my behavior, but it doesn't change anything. You're leaving anyway. Florida and the university football team are waiting for you!
I know. I'm so sorry we lost our last year. I'm sorry!
And you me. “I barely found the strength in myself and reluctantly freed myself from his embrace. - I have to go.
Please write! Or call, send text messages - just don’t get lost! I miss you. I never thought that we would stop talking to each other altogether. I need to know how you are doing.
Okay, I'll write. Congratulations on your acceptance to the University of Florida! I always knew you could do it.
Thanks, Mags. By the way, I still love you,” he whispered and kissed me on the cheek.
I could barely control myself.
I looked after him: he was backing away, not taking his eyes off me. A certificate is in hand, the graduate’s black robe flutters in the wind. Chad waved sadly and headed to his truck. As much as the day was not going well, it became even lousier.
I can’t imagine how you eat this disgusting stuff,” said the father. We used to joke together about my love for honey buns, but now he openly mocked me. - All sugar and carbohydrates. Can you imagine how many calories there are?!
Do you think it's time for me to lose weight?
We sat in the dining nook, which barely fits two people. After receiving our certificates, we immediately went home. We drove in silence. Dad didn’t say a word other than “congratulations.” For an hour now I had been looking at my phone impatiently, waiting for a text message from Kyle. I never thought that I would be counting down the minutes until I met him, but I was ready to do anything just to get out of the house.
Kyle was silent for now, but a message came from Bish.
“Congratulations, baby! It’s a terrible pity that I couldn’t come: the boss was swamped with work, and interns weren’t supposed to show up. I love you, I can't wait to meet you! I promise to come and visit you soon.”
“I didn’t say anything like that,” my father grumbled, not allowing me to relax and enjoy my brother’s congratulations. - You're overdramatizing everything. I meant that they are of no use.
Dad, like thousands of other Americans, I have eaten these buns every day for as long as I can remember! I assure you, they are not poisonous at all.
Your sarcasm is inappropriate. You need to watch your weight, otherwise one day it will be too late. Your mother says...
Your remark is also inappropriate, dad! I don't care what this woman imagined. She left and therefore lost her right to vote! She doesn't care about me at all!
My mother always teased me about my weight. Once upon a time it seemed to me that this was a manifestation of maternal care. Now I'm not sure of anything.
My height is average. My mom always said that I needed to be more active in sports, to return to the school cheerleading team. I was into athletics, but my mom thought a cheerleader skirt looked much better than running shorts.
I've always liked my body. I'm not fat at all. And I'm not one of those girls who whine, complain about life and get hysterical every time they put on a swimsuit. And those around me never complained. Especially Chad: he always said that he liked my healthy appetite and the fact that I didn’t bother talking about my weight. Apart from my mother, no one even thought of talking about it. I have nothing else to do but develop complexes in myself because of this neurasthenic woman! And now dad is also involved...
She doesn't care. We just did something wrong with you, and she felt bad with us. She wouldn't have left if we were more...
What kind, dad? Ideal?
You know what I mean.
Not at all! You can't love a person for what he can give you! You can't love him because of what he does for you, or because he's handsome! Love is blind, love is not exalted, is not proud! Remember, dad?
Maggie, I read the Bible too. But why on earth did you remember about God?
Oh! During the whole year, my dad and I never went to church.
Mom loved us, but we couldn't show her how much we loved her, and she left. We let her down! - the father concluded with a sigh.
I jumped up, forgetting that Kyle never wrote. A pitiful, embittered man sat in front of me with a sullen look. His face is pale, his black hair, which has not been washed for a long time, is combed back, his dark blue shirt is wrinkled.
Dad, I, of course, love you, but I don’t want to take her blame on myself! I'm going for a walk with a friend, I won't be back very late.
With Chad?
No. Chad is packing his bags.
Well, so much the better for him. You knew this would happen. There's a lot to learn from this guy. In my opinion, you are not a match for him. It wouldn't have worked out for you anyway. Come down to earth, Maggie! “You demand too much from others,” he muttered.
Whatever you say, dad. Bye!
Without waiting for an answer, I jumped out of the room. On the way, she grabbed a khaki windbreaker from the hanger, put her phone in her pocket and walked up to the huge mirror in a massive silver frame that hung in the hallway. I remember my mother found it in some antique store, and my dad barely managed to put this rarity in the car. I stood and looked at the brown hair, slightly curly at the ends and falling on the shoulders, at the green eyes, at the freckles scattered across my tanned face. Not a real beauty, but is that why everyone is leaving me?..
I rummaged through my backpack for the ten, put it in my pocket along with my cell phone, and walked out the door.
It was cold and damp outside. Fog swirled in the air, and halos shone around the street lamps. I walked down Broad Street, next was Main Street. I lived in the center all my life. I don’t have a car, because I don’t need it at all - I can walk everywhere. For example, the cafe where I work is only five blocks away.
However, I was not heading to the cafe at all. I had no idea where to go so as not to stay at home. The father has changed beyond recognition. We used to get along great: we played everything, went to the movies, cooked all sorts of things, raked fallen leaves in the yard. Typical family from a nice area, typical Tennessee people. Then my mother left, and it was as if my father had been replaced. He had never talked about my weight or calories before (nothing to talk about). The former father would not have stood by and watched his daughter receive her diploma. And he certainly wouldn’t have allowed me to go to work to provide myself with everything I needed, while he himself was giving in to despondency and didn’t want anything. He became completely different, and I really missed him as before.
I have an older brother, Bish, who has been living on his own for a long time. My parents adopted him when I was eight. Bish was sixteen, he wandered from one foster family to another and no longer hoped that he would have a real family.
I liked him right away, and so did I. I followed him, and he was happy. We played with him, he always took me with him when he went shopping. I helped him make friends with the Sunday school kids because he had never been to church. And then he went to art college and went to New York, where he got a job as an intern in a law office under the supervision of a terrible bore. Since then we rarely see each other. We just correspond, but he is always terribly busy, and it’s very difficult for me to think of what to tell him, except how lousy it is without him.
I reached the traffic light and waited for the light to turn green. A guy wearing headphones loomed in front of me. With his hands in his pockets, he shook his head slightly to the tune, then he saw me, smiled slightly and nodded. I checked my phone again, but Kyle hadn't texted yet. And what do I care about him? I didn’t really want to go on a date with Kyle, and yet I couldn’t get rid of thoughts about him.
I need to drink coffee. If Kyle doesn't show up, I'll just sit, read something on my phone, and go home. I put my cell phone in my pocket and looked at the road. Just in time! The light turned green, the guy stepped forward, forgetting to look around. And then suddenly a huge red truck appeared. The driver was turning right, but for some reason looked to the left.
Everything happened so quickly that there was no time left to think. I reacted instantly: I rushed forward, grabbed the guy by the jacket and pulled him towards me with all my might. The truck sped past. We both fell to the ground. The guy fell from above, hitting me in the face with his backpack. The pain took my breath away.
There was a squeal of brakes and the truck stopped abruptly. The driver leaned out of the window, shouted something about stupid children, only he put it stronger, and took off.
The guy instantly rolled to the side, pulled out his headphones and stared at me, stunned.
It seems normal,” I groaned.
What a bungler I am! You... you saved my life!
You're welcome. Glad I was nearby.
The guy moved closer and brushed my hair away from my forehead.
You got hurt! - he exclaimed sadly.
Is it true? “I touched my forehead and winced: my fingers were bleeding, but it didn’t hurt. It's probably okay. - Looks like it. Nonsense, scratch.
I tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me.
Wait a minute! We need to call an ambulance. If anything happens to you because of me...
No need to call anyone, I'm completely fine.
The guy frowned. In the soft light of the lanterns he was especially beautiful: tall, his hair was dark and tangled, curling on his forehead and near his ears, his eyes were either blue or light brown - you couldn’t tell. He nervously bit his incredibly beautiful lips, thinking intensely. He was wearing a gray hoodie with "Tennessee VOLS," the name of his college team, written across the chest in large orange letters. Another athlete on my head!
I remembered Chad. He was eager to go to Florida, to the Gators team, although the University of Tennessee was right next door. You see, his father studied in Florida, and Chad decided to continue the family tradition. It looked like he didn’t want to make any compromises for my sake.
Current page: 1 (book has 24 pages total) [available reading passage: 14 pages]
Imprinting is the consolidation of an image, memory, opinion or idea in memory unusually vividly and for a long time.
Dedicated to Axel
You love me, despite all my troubles and eccentricity.
You are very dear to me, and I am incredibly lucky to have you!
Love you forever!
© Shelly Crane 2010
School of Translation by V. Bakanov, 2014
© Russian edition AST Publishers, 2015
I was waiting for this day to sum up some kind of conclusion: to wrap seventeen years and eight months of my life in bright wrapping paper and hang a bow in the shape of a Confederate woman on top. As if some piece of paper would convince me that I did the right thing.
The graduates were seated in alphabetical order in a huge gymnasium, in full view of everyone. In the front row were those who had something to be proud of. They were looking forward to parties with family and friends, going to college, and dreaming of getting away from their hometown...
I fell into a stupor. I had been waiting for this day for so long, but now I felt nothing: neither a sense of completion, nor pride in my achievements. It’s as if I’m superfluous at this holiday and barely made it to the end of my studies. However, that’s how it was. I couldn't stand school. A special program was drawn up for working students, and we finished at one in the afternoon, and the rest studied until three. So I almost didn’t show up at school, and I wasn’t particularly eager to go.
It sounds bitter, I know it myself. However, I was seventeen, I was finishing my studies as an external student, I was going to win a gold medal and all that, and then so many things piled up... And here I am - gloomy, disappointed and a stranger to everyone.
It all started with the fact that our mother abandoned us... A respectable and thrifty housewife, a constant member of the parent committee, an extra-class pro in cutting out discount coupons. Imagine, she just up and left! It suddenly occurred to her that all these years her dad had not allowed her to develop. Therefore, she decided that she did not love him and that it was time to start a new life in which there was no place for me.
Mom took every last cent of my dad's college savings and ran away to California. Where else if not in the “state of enormous opportunities”! She didn’t stay there either and moved again. Now I don't talk to her. She kept apologizing and saying that she couldn't take it anymore and was now happy that I had no idea what it was like to live with my father. Yeah, of course! To this I noticed: at the moment, of the two of us, I am the one living with him. She immediately hung up.
My mother’s boyfriend, who is ten years younger than her, probably managed to console her.
And then graduation day arrived. I stood and patiently waited for my turn to come, to receive my certificate and to be applauded by the only person who came to support me - my father.
Then I noticed that Kyle turned around and looked at me with a smile.
- Looks like you're on your own wave today. Are you okay?
- Yeah. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.
He leaned his elbows on the back of his chair.
- Come on, it’s graduation! Aren't you happy?
I shrugged.
- Let's go somewhere today? My parents are throwing a stupid party in my honor, but I want to leave early with some excuse.
“Kyle, I’m not an excuse for you!”
He turned pale and frowned.
“Oh, Mags, that’s not what I meant at all!” “He sighed and looked at me confused. “The party will be from five to seven, you and I will have plenty of time.” I was afraid that you would refuse to go on a date with me again, so I tried to invite you as if inadvertently.
- Yah? – I straightened my shoulders. “Kyle, I...” I almost refused him again, but suddenly changed my mind. After my mother trampled my life with her sharp heels, I didn’t date anyone for a whole year. Kyle has always been very nice, and he's probably leaving for college soon. What am I risking? - Okay, let's go somewhere.
- Is it true?! – Kyle couldn’t believe his ears.
- Why not. What time will you be free?
“Is your father throwing a party for you too?”
- No. - Yeah, of course.
- Oh, listen, I’ll send you a text message. I need to first ask my father for a car - mine is being repaired. I think he won't refuse.
“Okay, write down the number,” I answered and reached for the phone.
- No need, I have it.
I looked at Kyle in confusion.
“I asked Rebecca a couple of weeks ago,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I wanted to call, but I didn’t dare.”
I couldn’t help but laugh: he looked as if he had gone into the cupboard for candy without asking. Handsome guy. He doesn’t look like a movie handsome man, his appearance is quite ordinary - dark brown hair, brown eyes. Although we had known each other for many years, we were never alone; there were always a bunch of friends nearby.
- I shouldn’t have decided.
– Would you talk to me?
I didn’t want to lie, or give false hope either, so I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders vaguely, hoping that this would pass for light flirting. It seemed to work—Kyle beamed.
– Great, I’ll write you back in the evening!
- Great! – I nodded, already regretting it.
It was the turn of the graduates sitting in front of Kyle, then he was called.
– Kyle Jacobson!
He turned around, smiled at me and walked onto the stage. There were still eight people ahead of me. As Kyle walked up the steps, his large family cheered loudly, some whistled and shouted words of encouragement. Kyle grabbed his certificate and flexed his muscles, fooling around. Everyone laughed. He bowed to the audience. Kyle was such a joker. His classmates loved him and chose him as the “class clown” for their yearbook. He was successful with girls, but never dated anyone. However, he always treated me with special warmth. Before my family broke up, we were in the same company.
After my mother left, my father, who had served impeccably for fifteen years in the municipal education department, stopped going to work and was fired. Now dad works at the sawmill for a quarter of his previous salary. Therefore, I had to study under a simplified program and find a job - there was sorely not enough money for anything except food.
When I told my mother about this, explained why I had to combine study with work and how badly my father had failed, she noticed that mental suffering combined with physical labor would benefit my dad and me. That's exactly how she put it!
This was the last straw.
That day I decided never to talk to her again.
– Maggie Masters!
I heard my name and looked around. Everyone looked at me, and I realized: this was not the first time they had called me. I was embarrassed, giggled nervously and headed towards the stage. It's strange that they didn't call me Mags, Magster or Magsy. No one ever calls me by my real name.
Having taken the certificate, I turned to my father. No photo for memory, no applause, no smile... He just sat and watched.
I frowned, reached the edge of the stage, and then someone’s hands grabbed me. Familiar hands.
- Congratulations! – he whispered right in my ear.
- Chad, stop it!
- Come on, Mags! “He lowered me to the floor, but did not release his hands and looked pleadingly. – We graduated from school, we need to celebrate it. Let's at least today not think about the past!
I looked up. Tanned skin, brown eyes, dark short curls that any girl would dream of running her fingers through. The pride and beauty of the school football team hugged me as if nothing had happened. How I missed him! But Chad himself left me...
“You’re great at this,” I said sarcastically.
- Maggie! “He sighed heavily, as if I was behaving inappropriately, and I seethed with anger. - Listen, almost a year has passed. If I knew what was going on... about your mom and all that, I would never have left you.
- Hmm, that changes a lot. “I was just dripping with sarcasm.”
– You understood me perfectly. We talked about this often, you knew from the very beginning that I would leave. I thought you yourself realized that we needed to slow down and be just friends for the last year of school. I haven't dated anyone, you know. It wasn't about you.
The real truth. For a whole year, he never went on a date, at least as far as I know. Even to the prom, Chad agreed to go with friends, no girls. Almost the entire football team supported him, and this made my classmates very angry.
- I know. And yet you didn't talk to me for a whole year.
– Maggie, you yourself didn’t answer my calls! You avoided me at lunch, then you started working after school. What was I supposed to do?
Chad is right. The only conversation took place a month after our breakup and my mother’s departure. We had a big fight. Coincidentally, three days after my mother left, Chad made a decision for the two of us, regardless of my opinion.
I said then that he acted vilely, choosing the most inopportune moment. He replied that he was sorry and decided to replay everything. He even tried to kiss me, but it was too late.
I missed Chad. He was a good guy, but he did everything at the wrong time, and I was terribly offended. I was angry that he abandoned me for his grand plans. Everyone abandoned me! I tried to maintain at least a semblance of calm.
“You’re right,” I agreed. – I needed you more than ever! I wanted to be with you, but I would never beg you to come back.
- Stupid, you didn’t have to beg me at all! – Chad said hoarsely and pulled me towards him. - Mags, forgive me! I thought if we remained friends it would be easier. I knew it was difficult to leave. Look at me. “I sighed heavily and raised my head. “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you!” I miss you so much...
- Chad, stop it, okay? I'm ashamed of my behavior, but it doesn't change anything. You're leaving anyway. Florida and the university football team are waiting for you!
- I know. I'm so sorry we lost our last year. I'm sorry!
- And you me. “I barely found the strength in myself and reluctantly freed myself from his embrace. - I have to go.
- Please write! Or call, send text messages - just don’t get lost! I miss you. I never thought that we would stop talking to each other altogether. I need to know how you are doing.
- Okay, I’ll write. Congratulations on your acceptance to the University of Florida! I always knew you could do it.
-Thank you, Mags. By the way, I still love you,” he whispered and kissed me on the cheek.
I could barely control myself.
I looked after him: he was backing away, not taking his eyes off me. A certificate is in hand, the graduate’s black robe flutters in the wind. Chad waved sadly and headed to his truck. As much as the day was not going well, it became even lousier.
“I can’t imagine how you eat this disgusting thing,” said the father. We used to joke together about my love for honey buns, but now he openly mocked me. – All sugar and carbohydrates. Can you imagine how many calories there are?!
– Do you think it’s time for me to lose weight?
We sat in the dining nook, which barely fits two people. After receiving our certificates, we immediately went home. We drove in silence. Dad didn’t say a word other than “congratulations.” For an hour now I had been looking at my phone impatiently, waiting for a text message from Kyle. I never thought that I would be counting down the minutes until I met him, but I was ready to do anything just to get out of the house.
Kyle was silent for now, but a message came from Bish.
“Congratulations, baby! It’s a terrible pity that I couldn’t come: the boss was swamped with work, and interns weren’t supposed to show up. I love you, I can't wait to meet you! I promise to come and visit you soon.”
“I didn’t say anything like that,” my father grumbled, not allowing me to relax and enjoy my brother’s congratulations. -You're overdramatizing everything. I meant that they are of no use.
– Dad, like thousands of other Americans, I eat these buns every day for as long as I can remember! I assure you, they are not poisonous at all.
– Your sarcasm is inappropriate. You need to watch your weight, otherwise one day it will be too late. Your mother says...
– Your remark is also inappropriate, dad! I don't care what this woman imagined. She left and therefore lost her right to vote! She doesn't care about me at all!
My mother always teased me about my weight. Once upon a time it seemed to me that this was a manifestation of maternal care. Now I'm not sure of anything.
My height is average. My mom always said that I needed to be more active in sports, to return to the school cheerleading team. I was into athletics, but my mom thought a cheerleader skirt looked much better than running shorts.
I've always liked my body. I'm not fat at all. And I'm not one of those girls who whine, complain about life and get hysterical every time they put on a swimsuit. And those around me never complained. Especially Chad: he always said that he liked my healthy appetite and the fact that I didn’t bother talking about my weight. Apart from my mother, no one even thought of talking about it. I have nothing else to do but develop complexes in myself because of this neurasthenic woman! And now dad is also involved...
- She doesn't care. We just did something wrong with you, and she felt bad with us. She wouldn't have left if we were more...
- Which ones, dad? Ideal?
- You know what I mean.
- Not at all! You can't love a person for what he can give you! You can't love him because of what he does for you, or because he's handsome! Love is blind, love is not exalted, is not proud! Remember, dad?
– Maggie, I read the Bible too. But why on earth did you remember about God?
Oh! During the whole year, my dad and I never went to church.
“Mom loved us, but we couldn’t show her how much we loved her, and she left.” We let her down! – the father concluded with a sigh.
I jumped up, forgetting that Kyle never wrote. A pitiful, embittered man sat in front of me with a sullen look. His face is pale, his black hair, which has not been washed for a long time, is combed back, his dark blue shirt is wrinkled.
– Dad, I, of course, love you, but I don’t want to take her blame on myself! I'm going for a walk with a friend, I won't be back very late.
- With Chad?
- No. Chad is packing his bags.
- Well, so much the better for him. You knew this would happen. There's a lot to learn from this guy. In my opinion, you are not a match for him. It wouldn't have worked out for you anyway. Come down to earth, Maggie! “You demand too much from others,” he muttered.
- Whatever you say, dad. Bye!
Without waiting for an answer, I jumped out of the room. On the way, she grabbed a khaki windbreaker from the hanger, put her phone in her pocket and walked up to the huge mirror in a massive silver frame that hung in the hallway. I remember my mother found it in some antique store, and my dad barely managed to put this rarity in the car. I stood and looked at the brown hair, slightly curly at the ends and falling on the shoulders, at the green eyes, at the freckles scattered across my tanned face. Not a real beauty, but is that why everyone is leaving me?..
I rummaged through my backpack for the ten, put it in my pocket along with my cell phone, and walked out the door.
It was cold and damp outside. Fog swirled in the air, and halos shone around the street lamps. I walked down Broad Street, next was Main Street. I lived in the center all my life. I don’t have a car, because I don’t need it at all - I can walk everywhere. For example, the cafe where I work is only five blocks away.
However, I was not heading to the cafe at all. I had no idea where to go so as not to stay at home. The father has changed beyond recognition. We used to get along great: we played everything, went to the movies, cooked all sorts of things, raked fallen leaves in the yard. Typical family from a nice area, typical Tennessee people. Then my mother left, and it was as if my father had been replaced. He had never talked about my weight or calories before (nothing to talk about). The former father would not have stood by and watched his daughter receive her diploma. And he certainly wouldn’t have allowed me to go to work to provide myself with everything I needed, while he himself was giving in to despondency and didn’t want anything. He became completely different, and I really missed him as before.
I have an older brother, Bish, who has been living on his own for a long time. My parents adopted him when I was eight. Bish was sixteen, he wandered from one foster family to another and no longer hoped that he would have a real family.
I liked him right away, and so did I. I followed him, and he was happy. We played with him, he always took me with him when he went shopping. I helped him make friends with the Sunday school kids because he had never been to church. And then he went to art college and went to New York, where he got a job as an intern in a law office under the supervision of a terrible bore. Since then we rarely see each other. We just correspond, but he is always terribly busy, and it’s very difficult for me to think of what to tell him, except how lousy it is without him.
I reached the traffic light and waited for the light to turn green. A guy wearing headphones loomed in front of me. With his hands in his pockets, he shook his head slightly to the tune, then he saw me, smiled slightly and nodded. I checked my phone again, but Kyle hadn't texted yet. And what do I care about him? I didn’t really want to go on a date with Kyle, and yet I couldn’t get rid of thoughts about him.
I need to drink coffee. If Kyle doesn't show up, I'll just sit, read something on my phone, and go home. I put my cell phone in my pocket and looked at the road. Just in time! The light turned green, the guy stepped forward, forgetting to look around. And then suddenly a huge red truck appeared. The driver was turning right, but for some reason looked to the left.
Everything happened so quickly that there was no time left to think. I reacted instantly: I rushed forward, grabbed the guy by the jacket and pulled him towards me with all my might. The truck sped past. We both fell to the ground. The guy fell from above, hitting me in the face with his backpack. The pain took my breath away.
There was a squeal of brakes and the truck stopped abruptly. The driver leaned out of the window, shouted something about stupid children, only he put it stronger, and took off.
The guy instantly rolled to the side, pulled out his headphones and stared at me, stunned.
- How are you?
“It seems normal,” I moaned.
- What a bungler I am! You... you saved my life!
- You're welcome. Glad I was nearby.
The guy moved closer and brushed my hair away from my forehead.
- You got hurt! – he exclaimed sadly.
- Is it true? “I touched my forehead and winced: my fingers were bleeding, but it didn’t hurt. It's probably okay. - Looks like it. Nonsense, scratch.
I tried to get up, but he wouldn't let me.
- Wait a minute! We need to call an ambulance. If anything happens to you because of me...
“There’s no need to call anyone, I’m completely fine.”
The guy frowned. In the soft light of the lanterns he was especially beautiful: tall, his hair was dark and tangled, curling on his forehead and near his ears, his eyes were either blue or light brown - you couldn’t tell. He nervously bit his incredibly beautiful lips, thinking intensely. He was wearing a gray hoodie with "Tennessee VOLS," the name of his college team, written across the chest in large orange letters. Another athlete on my head!
I remembered Chad. He was eager to go to Florida, to the Gators team, although the University of Tennessee was right next door. You see, his father studied in Florida, and Chad decided to continue the family tradition. It looked like he didn’t want to make any compromises for my sake.
Our eyes met. We literally couldn't take our eyes off each other. Then he smiled from the corner of his mouth, and it completely took my breath away.
- Let me take you to the hospital myself. “The guy brushed my hair off my forehead again and leaned closer. I took my breath away, and so did he. He looked me straight in the eyes. “It doesn’t seem to be a big deal, but let’s call your friends or parents anyway.” I will be calmer!
“There’s no one to call,” I muttered and immediately regretted it. “Really, I’m fine.”
– I’m so glad that you were nearby! After all, I almost died! Sorry for hitting you in the face with that stupid backpack! By the way, you have the right grip,” he smiled.
I looked at him as if enchanted, could not take my eyes off and was silent.
He smiled even wider.
“Hmm, thank you,” I finally responded, coming to my senses. -Are you okay yourself?
The guy nodded.
- So there is no one to call? Parents? Boyfriend?
– Father won’t come, I and my boyfriend... Well, we broke up. There's no point in calling him.
– Do you think he won’t come?
- He’ll come running! That's why I don't want to call.
The guy was embarrassed and happy at the same time.
- Okay, it's up to you. I think you weren’t hurt too badly and there was no concussion.
“Honestly, I’m fine!” Sorry for the delay,” I muttered and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
- Are you joking?! You saved my life! Let me at least take you where you were going. “He gently took my hand and helped me up. - Everything is fine? Birds or stars don't flash before your eyes?
- Everything is fine.
-Where were you going?
- I have no idea. Nowhere. I just desperately needed to leave home. They should call me.
– Did you go to graduation?
- Yes, I graduated from school today.
- Is it true? You look too young for a graduate.
“I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks.” Graduated as an external student.
- Clear. This means that a very gifted girl saved me! – the guy grinned.
- Nothing like this! – I laughed. – I loved studying, especially writing tests. “He was noticeably surprised. – I know, it sounds strange. I'm such a weirdo. I just liked it, that's all.
- And now you don’t like it?
- It's a long story. This school year did not go well right away.
The guy nodded and decided not to go into details.
“You know, you’re not a weirdo.” “He leaned towards me and whispered: “I like to solve geometry problems at speed.” Simply adore!
I raised my eyebrows playfully and opened my mouth.
- Amazing!
- Still would.
- Maybe you're the weirdo?
We laughed, then smiled at each other.
- Well, will you allow me to accompany you?
- Everything is fine with me. Where were you going?
“My uncle lives a couple of blocks from here.” His son, my cousin, also graduated from school today. I came with my parents to celebrate together. Well, you know how it happens.
“Yeah,” I said, having no idea what it would be like to get the whole family together and enjoy graduation together. -What's your brother's name?
– Kyle Jacobson
I looked at him dumbfounded.
– Is Kyle your cousin?
- Well, yes. do you know each other? Oh yes, you are classmates.
“Kyle and I have been friends since we can remember. That's what I'm waiting for. He said that your party will take place from five to seven.
- Right. I went out to get some air: it’s hard to bear so many Jacobsons in one house. – The guy put his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders embarrassedly. “So Kyle is going on a date with you?” He's already buzzing my ears.
- This is not a date! However, I don’t know... We are just friends. He is so cute!
“I don’t know about you, but he definitely thinks you’re on a date.” And believe me, he wants to become more than a friend to you.
He smiled sadly. I bit my lip.
- Oh, I didn’t mean that at all! I wanted to get out somewhere, Kyle had invited me for a walk before. This time I simply did not refuse him. Understand?
The guy nodded and rubbed his neck thoughtfully. A strand of hair fell on his forehead, and I wanted to remove it. My fingers naturally reached out to him, but I controlled myself and clenched my fist tightly. I'm not some stupid girl who loses her head at the sight of a cute boy! And I will never become one!
“I’m going back to the house anyway, so let’s go together.” Kyle will be happy.
It seems that such a prospect did not smile on both of us. Before, I didn’t like anyone except Chad, and I was drawn to this blue-eyed guy like a magnet.
- Okay, but he and I are just friends. I've never been to his house. Do you think he won't be angry if I show up uninvited?
- In no case!
We headed to Kyle's house. It was much more pleasant to walk in the dark together.
– What course are you in? – I asked to break the pause.
– Switched to the second one. I'm studying to be an architect.
- Is it true? Great! Is that why you like geometry?
He smiled and nodded.
– Have you already chosen where to go?
I sighed.
– To be honest, I haven’t figured it out yet. This year my studies have been worse than ever, with admission everything is unclear. I have no idea what to do now. My father... I should be there now. For now I’m working in a cafe, but we’ll see.
– Listen, caring for loved ones is sometimes much more important than loving yourself. You're doing great, helping your father when he really needs it!
For the first time in the whole year, something good was said to me.
- Thank you! You can’t even imagine how important it is for me to hear these exact words! – I exclaimed and smiled embarrassedly.
The guy smiled back, held my hand and brushed my hair off my forehead again to check the scratch. I looked into his eyes. No matter how hot my cheeks are, I will never look away. I will never lose my head! He looked down at me, still touching my hair, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. He narrowed his eyes, watching my reaction. I licked my lips nervously. The guy flashed his eyes, immediately turned away and lowered his hand.
- Looks better. I think everything will be fine. Hey Kyle, look who I brought!
I turned around and saw Kyle, who glared angrily at his brother.
- I see it myself. do you know each other?
- No, but today your friend saved my life! “The guy nodded in my direction and smiled. Then he turned his gaze to Kyle, who was very skeptical. “I was almost hit by a truck, and she pulled me right out from under the wheels.” If it weren't for her, I would definitely die!
Kyle stared at me in amazement.
- This is true?
“Oh, I didn’t do anything special,” I waved it off.
- Mags, I don’t believe you! “Kyle rushed to me and hugged me tightly, easily lifting me off the ground. He clearly wanted to annoy his brother. However, he immediately understood everything, rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. - Let's go home quickly! You need to tell Aunt Rachel how you saved her son!
- No, I won’t go into the house. I'm not in the mood to talk to a bunch of people.
“Okay,” Kyle reluctantly retreated. “I was just about to write to you.” Sorry, the party ran a little long. We were waiting for someone, and he was late. Now I see that he had something to do.
- Better late than never! – I recited and suddenly became embarrassed.
Kyle raised an eyebrow, but his cousin laughed heartily.
– She got you, didn’t she? “He patted Kyle on the back. “It’s nice to see that you care so much about me.”
- Yah you! So, Mags, are you ready? – Kyle asked.
I didn't know what to answer. I really didn’t want to leave the guy I saved, but I couldn’t invite him with me either - it was like a black cat ran between the brothers. I looked at him, he looked at me. He didn't want me to leave either, and that made the butterflies in my stomach race faster.
“Well, yes, of course,” I muttered.
- Fine. I took the keys, let's go.
- Wait a minute. “I walked up to his brother, who was standing a little further away, and looked into his eyes. He was a whole head taller than me. “I’m very glad that I was at that crossroads on time.”
- Me too. Thank you! If you need anything - new skates, ice cream, a donor kidney - just let me know!
I laughed and tucked a stray strand behind my ear. The guy grinned and shuffled his foot embarrassedly.
- Necessarily. By the way, my name is Maggie. “I extended my hand and smiled.
“Maggie,” he repeated, and I bit my lip when I heard my name from his lips. - And I'm Caleb.
He touched my hand and it was like an electric shock. I even suffocated.
I've never experienced anything like this, not even with Chad. It felt like fire was running through my veins, as if I was standing in water with a hairdryer turned on in my hands. I stopped breathing, and my own blood seemed icy compared to my burning skin. The eyelids fluttered with pleasure mixed with pain. Images flashed, bright as flashes.
Here I am standing on the porch, tanned arms are hugging me from behind, a curly dark-haired head is leaning towards me, they are kissing me on the neck. Then the picture changed to another: I’m running away from someone, but I’m not scared, I’m laughing. I look around and see a dark-haired young man, he grabs me, throws me over his shoulder, and I squeal with joy. In the background is a house with a “For Sale” sign, “Sold” written below it, and a truck parked nearby.
Then a young man and a girl walk along the dazzling white sand. The young man gestures animatedly and touches a prickly cactus. I kiss my sore finger and drag my companion into the house. We enter the bedroom through glass double doors. He pushes me onto the bed and falls next to me, then kisses me frantically.
But here I am shaking hands with a tanned, dark-haired young man. We have a mixture of pleasure, embarrassment and delight on our faces. He smiles at me as if he understood everything, and it’s all me.
I came to my senses, suddenly realizing that this was happening here and now, and not in my strange dreams. I stood and looked at Caleb.
He, too, did not take his eyes off me, but he smiled as enthusiastically as in my visions.
“It’s you,” he whispered in amazement. - You are my betrothed!
- What's happening? – Kyle interrupted.
I heard the question, but I couldn’t tear myself away from the blue eyes looking at me with endless desire.
Caleb stepped closer and took my face in his hands. Calm and warmth immediately washed over me.
- Breathe, Maggie. “I took a deep breath and gasped. My head became a little clearer. Caleb smiled. - Everything will be fine! Understood? The main thing is don’t be afraid!
- What are you doing? – Kyle was indignant and pushed Caleb away.
At that very moment I felt cold and uncomfortable, I immediately suffocated.
- Dude, that won’t work! - Kyle yelled. - Look, I understand - she saved your life, and you... What the hell, I told you about her! You can't just go and...
“Kyle, she’s the one,” Caleb interrupted, not taking his eyes off me. It felt like an eternity had passed since he first took my hand, but I still felt a strange tremor in my veins. - That's her!
- What? – Kyle exclaimed angrily. - That can’t be true! You barely... barely know each other! You're making fun of me!
He sighed heavily and ruffled his hair with both hands.
- What's happening? – I asked quietly.
Kyle was upset and angry. Caleb looked at me with awe and delight. He stepped towards me, but this time he didn’t touch me.
“Maggie, we have a lot to talk about.”
“Not today, Caleb,” Kyle intervened and stepped between us. “She has no idea what you’re talking about.” You'll scare her!
- I won’t scare you. Deep down she knows me and I know her. Kyle, everything is exactly as we were told! I can hear her heart beating.
Kyle cursed and shook his head.
- What nonsense! I can't believe it! You knew exactly how I felt and you did it anyway!
