So, you have decided to join your destiny with your loved one, not only having received the blessing of the registry office, but also getting married in the Orthodox Church. It is important that this event turns out to be not just a tribute to fashion, but becomes a serious deliberate step, and for this it is important to know its features. Who can get married and when, under what conditions is the sacred sacrament performed, and what needs to be prepared for this?
The editors of the site learned all the details of this amazing and powerful ceremony.
Who can and cannot get married
The first requirement for those getting married is to be baptized in the Orthodox Church. If the bride or groom is not churched in the Orthodox Church or the situation with baptism is not clear, it is important to come to church at least a month before the expected wedding date and discuss the nuances with the priest. Sometimes it is allowed to marry the young, even if someone in the couple is not Orthodox, but! - provided that the children born in this marriage will be baptized in Orthodoxy.
The second requirement is the marriageable age of the young: the bride must be 16 years old, the groom -18. True, the priest will certainly make an exception for a younger bride if she is expecting a baby (or, as we say in Ukraine, she will be “on hope”). The church is interested in having children born in a married marriage.
It is curious that the couple will be married, even if the future spouses did not receive the blessing of their parents. In this case, everything is decided by the blessing of the spiritual person.
IMPORTANT.Atheists and unbaptized, blood and spiritual relatives (for example, godfather and goddaughter), as well as those who marry for the fourth time, cannot get married. The wedding ceremony can be performed only three times. And then, provided that the person was widowed or the previous married marriage was dissolved according to church rules.
When you can and cannot get married
It is important that you can get married on the day of the marriage at the registry office (but it is very difficult to bear physically), and even if your legal marriage has been for many years.
By the way, if one of the couple has misunderstandings with documents and other problems, do not be afraid to turn to the priest - they will definitely meet you in the temple.
Do not marry:
During posts:
Christmas - lasts November 28 - January 6;
Great - seven weeks before Orthodox Easter;
Petrov - depends on the date of Easter, lasts from 8 to 42 days;
Assumption - lasts August 14 - 27.
Consider this nuance when planning a wedding (fasting involves abstinence both in food, drinking alcohol, loud festivities, and in carnal intimacy);
. refuse to marry on significant days:
September 11 - Beheading of John the Baptist;
September 27 - Exaltation of the Holy Cross;
from January 7 to 19 - Christmas time;
at Maslenitsa;
for Bright Week (the week after Easter);
If one of the couple planning to get married is married to another person who has not been dissolved in the manner established by the church;
They are crowned in the church not every day, but 4 days a week on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. On the days of the four fasts, during them, church marriages are not concluded;
If the blessing of a clergyman is not given for marriage and wedding.
IMPORTANT. There is one piquant moment: according to church laws, you cannot appear in the temple in " critical days". Well, it makes sense to calculate and choose the right time for the ceremony.
How to prepare for a wedding
It is important to choose a church and a priest who will conduct the ceremony. It is advisable to give preference to the temple in which you have been going since childhood, or the one in which you are comfortable and calm.
It is necessary to agree on the date of the wedding ahead of time - a few weeks in advance. It is also important to discuss in time: how long the rite will last, what to bring with you to the temple, whether it is possible to shoot the rite in the temple on camera or take a photo session, how much the rite will cost (it is paid).
IMPORTANT. The priest can offer you additional church services: for example, bell ringing, church choir singing.
How to choose guarantors
Guarantors are the witnesses at the wedding who hold the crowns during the ceremony. It is customary to choose them from relatives (friends), baptized, unmarried or legally married people (divorced or in a civil marriage, the church is not allowed to choose). Guarantors perform the same duties as godparents: they help the young in life with advice, spiritually guide the family.
IMPORTANT. In the case when it was not possible to agree with the witnesses, the wedding can be held without them.
How to choose a dress for a wedding
An important rule: the young must have baptismal crosses. The bride is supposed to wear a non-short dress (below the knees), without a deep neckline and too open shoulders (you can throw a stole over your shoulders). A veil is allowed, but massive headdresses or hats are not, since the bride will be wearing a church crown on her head.
The groom is supposed to be in a suit, but ... not in a sporty or too bright, extravagant, and it is advisable for women - guests of the ceremony to be in a dress or a skirt below the knee, married - with a covered head.
IMPORTANT.The bride should not come to church with a very bright make-up, besides, you can’t kiss the cross and the icon with painted lips. By the way, people believe that a wedding dress cannot be given or sold: it is kept like a baptismal shirt, kryzhma and candles.
What you need to prepare for the wedding
Two scarves (they are wrapped around wedding candles).
IMPORTANT. The wedding towel is kept, as are the wedding candles, which can be lit to cleanse the house on difficult days or when someone in the family is sick.
How to behave during a wedding ceremony
The priest will tell you how the ceremony will take place. The wedding takes place at the entrance to the church, the bride stands to the left of the groom, both stand on a towel and keep candles lit until the end of the sacrament. During the ceremony, the young are blessed by the priest - after a special prayer, he must change the wedding rings from the young man's hand to the bride's hand three times.
Further, the confessor asks the question: “Is the wedding performed out of good will? Are there any obstacles? After the answer of the young and prayer, the young become spouses before God. They kiss church crowns and drink church wine in three sips.
At the end of the ceremony, the priest leads the spouses around the lectern, then to royal doors, the young one kisses the icon of Christ, the young one kisses the icon of the Mother of God. After - the guests can congratulate the newlyweds!
The wedding ceremony is not only beautiful and ancient tradition but also a responsible step towards creating a strong and happy family. Sometimes a couple comes to this important step years later, only when people are finally convinced of their feelings and intention to live together for the rest of their lives.
If you have visited the page because you have already decided to take this serious step and are planning to hold a wedding ceremony in 2019, the first thing you should do is choose the right date, and my article will help you with this.
As you probably know, there are certain days for a wedding in a church. For convenience, I have compiled for you. From the wedding calendar 2019 you will find out on which days, according to the canons of the Russian Orthodox Church, a wedding ceremony can be held, and on which not. Hope it will be useful! In addition, in the article you will find clear information on to whom who can and cannot get married in the Church.
In addition, if you need a photographer, be sure to visit the section:
Who can get married in the Church:
1. The basic requirements for newlyweds are to be members of the Church (to be baptized people, to wear pectoral cross);
Important condition to recognize the validity of church marriage - the unity of religion.
2. Have a certificate from the registry office on state registration of marriage. This point is explained very simply - the registry office will not sign people who are already married and do not have an official divorce. In addition, the registry office will not list people who are not capable of marriage (insane, sick), people who are closely related, people who have not reached marriageable age, who are forcibly forced into marriage. On my own note, the presence of a certificate of registration for those who are getting married - necessary measure. In part, this requirement is imposed on the church government bodies. In the days of our grandfathers, quite a lot of married couples were without official papers, and some couples manage to get married without a state certificate even now (for example, if the priest knows you very well, and you plan to sign in the registry office after the wedding)
Who should not get married in the Church:
1. People married more than 3 times. In the church, the first time is considered the norm. The second time they crown in the Church disapprovingly and allow a second marriage for indulgence to human infirmities (the rite itself changes somewhat, for example, crowns are not put on). The third time is crowned in exceptional cases, if the reason for this is valid and the person has repented. No one will be married for the fourth time - even widowhood after a third marriage does not give the right to marry a fourth time. State registration in this case does not have such a restriction - and can register at least the sixth or seventh marriage;
2. Spiritual persons, i.e. who took holy orders. Marriage is possible only before consecration to the holy dignity. A priest can only have one spouse if he is a married priest. A monk cannot have a wife at all because of his vows. Violation of this rule - threatens to be deprived of the holy dignity;
3. Monks and nuns, after taking their vows, are also not allowed to get married in the Church;
4. Guilty of the dissolution of a previous marriage. For example, a person guilty of treason, because of which the first marriage is dissolved, cannot enter into a new marriage;
5. Those who do not fall within certain age limits. At the moment, the lower age limit for a wedding should be considered the onset of civil majority (the age at which marriage is allowed in the registry office). In church marriage law, an upper limit for marriage is also established: for men - 70 years, for women - 60 years;
6. An obstacle to marriage is the lack of consent to it from the parents of the bride or groom. This type of obstacle should be considered only if the parents of the future spouses are Orthodox Christians. Children of Orthodox parents cannot marry arbitrarily, without the consent of their parents;
When it is impossible to receive the blessing of the parents because of their unbelief, it is worth asking for the blessing of the bishop to enter into a church marriage without the permission of the parents. The bishop has the right to bless the marriage even if the parents do not agree to the marriage of their children for illegal reasons.
Days on which the Church performs or does not perform the Sacrament of the Wedding:
Days on which the Church commits sacrament of wedding
Days on which the Church does not commit sacrament of wedding
Wedding calendar for 2019
ATTENTION!!! Wedding calendar 2019created in reference purposes and may contain unintentional inaccuracies, in addition, it does not take into account the temple holidays of a particular church (in different churches these are different dates), before choosing the date finally - consult your priest! If you noticed an error or a typo in the article - please let me know by mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
The most successful day for the sacrament of the Wedding is considered the 1st Sunday after Easter, which is popularly called Red Hill, in 2019 this day falls on May 5th
General explanations:
The sacrament of the wedding is not performed :
Tuesday and Thursday - throughout the year;
Saturday - throughout the year;
On the eve of the twelfth, temple and great holidays (see below for a list and dates of all these holidays in 2019);
During the Great, Petrov, Assumption and Christmas fasts (see below the church fasts for many days in 2019);
On the Week of meat-fare, during the cheese week (Maslenitsa) and on the Week of cheese-fare; during the Easter (Bright) week;
On the days (and the day before) of the Beheading of John the Baptist - September 11 and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross - September 27;
Also, the Sacrament of the Wedding is not performed on the eve of the patronal temple holidays ( each temple has its patronal feasts).
Holidays:
Twelfth non-transferable holidays:
Twelfth rolling holidays for 2019:
Great church holidays:
Church multi-day fasts in 2019:
Solid weeks in 201 9 year:
A week is a week from Monday to Sunday. These days there is no fasting on Wednesday and Friday. Five continuous weeks:
Publican and Pharisee - starts 2 weeks before Lent from February 18 to February 23, 2019;
Church one-day fasts, days on which they also will not be crowned:
Why are they not married in fasting?
This is explained by the fact that during fasting, believers are supposed to attend worship services, and not arrange a wedding feast. Previously, only a wedding was called marriage, and the word “marriage” itself comes from the Slavic word “brasno”, which means “feast” or “food”. Fasting is a time of abstinence, including marital abstinence. It is not supposed to visit places of entertainment during fasting - a person must be morally cleansed during this time. If you look at the wedding calendar, then there are more days in a year when they don’t get married than days when a wedding is allowed.
On the eve of the wedding, Orthodox Christians must fast, before the sacrament they should also attend the liturgy, confess and take communion.
Superstitions, omens. Superstitions regarding the choice of the date of the wedding.
The remnants of paganism make themselves felt to this day, manifesting themselves in all sorts of fables and all sorts of superstitions. The very word " superstition"(derived from "sue" - in vain and "faith", literally translated as "vain belief") - a prejudice, which is a belief in any otherworldly forces. There is, for example, a superstition that an accidentally dropped ring during a wedding or an extinguished wedding candle portends misfortunes: a divorce or an early death of one of the spouses. There is also a widespread superstition that the one of the newlyweds who first steps on the spread towel will be the head of the family.
There is also a widespread superstition that one should not get married in May, and from the older generation even in Kyiv (not to mention villages or suburbs) one often hears “you will toil all your life later”, etc.
In general, there are a lot of superstitions regarding the date of the wedding. For example, the total number of weddings in leap year- drops noticeably, and this is due exclusively to superstitions. The next year 2020 is a leap year and for some reason many people think that it is not advisable to get married or get married in such a year. The year that comes after the leap year 2021 is considered by our people to be the year of the Black Widow, which means, again, not favorable for marriage. So, we have a crazy situation - in which two whole years out of four, for unknown reasons, are considered unsuccessful. Here's what the church has to say on the subject: "The 'leap year' is the calendar year needed to calculate accurate astronomical dates. Therefore, people who consider a leap year unsuccessful for any deeds and undertakings (for example, marriage) fall into sin, because superstition lies precisely in the fact that supernatural significance is attributed to natural objects. “The devil, trying to divert us from the exploits of virtue and suppress spiritual jealousy, taught people to attribute happiness and misfortune to days” ”(St. John Chrysostom)
Such fictions and superstitions should not disturb a believer. And if you take such a step as a wedding, you must be believers. Accidents such as the fall of a ring or the extinction of a candle must be treated exactly as accidents.
What should I bring with me to the Wedding, what should I think over in advance?
So, you have chosen a day and you have been assigned a convenient time for you. In advance, you will need to prepare:
You will give the rings to the priest or his assistants, and they will be illuminated on the throne. You also give towels to assistants before the wedding. Of the 5 towels - one should be large, it will be spread under your feet when performing the sacrament. A loaf or bread is placed on one, two more are thrown on the icons with which you will leave the temple, and the last towel will be used to bind your hands during the Sacrament.
You must understand that not in every temple you can buy beautiful wedding candles and towels for them. Take care of this in advance, they can be purchased in large churches or in Orthodox shops. Now they sell ready-made, complete wedding sets, although in fact ordinary ones are also suitable for the sacrament. church candles. All visible beauty- is needed only for you and does not affect the amount of "grace" you will receive. The most important thing during the wedding is your prayer.
The splendor of the temple decoration - wall paintings, icons, professional choir and bell ringing at the end - all this is necessary to create a holiday, as well as
, which, according to your desire, will shoot all this beautifully. On my own behalf, I’ll add that you need to take a blessing for a photo or video of a wedding, asking for permission in advance from the priest who will marry you. Shooting is not prohibited, but the photographer / cameraman must be invisible during the wedding and should not interfere with anyone present. For example, I don’t use flashes during wedding photography and shoot only with ultra-fast lenses and open apertures. ordering
- remember that the wedding is first of all a mystery, not a photo shoot - and your photographer must be a professional.
How does the wedding ceremony take place?
Now everywhere the sacrament of the wedding begins with the betrothal. The betrothal takes place closer to the entrance, and only after it does the couple enter the center of the temple. During the betrothal, the priest gives two lighted candles into the hands of the betrothed - a symbol of joy, warmth and purity. After that, he puts on the rings, the first puts on the groom, then the second - the bride, and three times (in the image of the Holy Trinity) changes the rings on their hands.
After the young couple enters the temple, the priest asks whether the marriage is performed out of good will and desire. Then three prayers are said, in which God's blessing is asked for those who are married. Then crowns are taken out (which people call crowns, because they are always decorated like crowns) - and placed over the heads of the young. The crown is an image of the crown of the Kingdom of Heaven, and it is also a symbol of martyrdom. Life is not cloudless and simple, and in order to live it together to the end, you need to have patience, comparable only to the patience of martyrs. In some temples, witnesses do not hold crowns over their heads, they are put on their heads. The main moment of the wedding takes place when the priest blesses the newlyweds three times with the words: “Lord our God, crown me with Glory and Honor.” spouses must share until the end of their days). The priest in three doses gives the bride and groom to drink from the cup. Then he ties their hands with a towel and circles them three times around the table with icons, to the singing of the wedding choir. The circle is a symbol of eternity and inseparability, because the sacrament is performed forever. Walking after the priest is a way of serving the Church.
At the end - the priest gives the young people to kiss the cross, icons, and then hands them the icons in their hands and says a short sermon-admonition. After the instruction, the young people can kiss, and relatives and friends who have come can come up and congratulate the young Christian family.
Only the ruling bishop of the diocese (region) where the wedding took place can terminate a church marriage, and only in case of betrayal of one of the spouses or for another serious reason (for example, the death of one of the spouses). “What God has joined together, man shall not separate”
Many couples now, apart from official registration marriage, decide to consolidate their relationship in the face of God by getting married in a church. For some, this ritual is more important than an entry in the register of civil status, and someone just wants a solemn and memorable ceremony. In any case, when deciding to enter into a church marriage, and this is precisely what a wedding implies, one should take into account several important points. Even if regular church attendance is rare for future spouses, it is necessary to respect the rules and traditions established by the Orthodox Church.
When you can not get married in the Orthodox Church. There are a number of reasons why the Church has the right to refuse a couple to marry:
If the future spouses profess a non-Christian religion (Islam, Buddhism, Judaism), or are atheists. You cannot get married without being baptized in Orthodoxy, they can also refuse to marry if the baptized person declares his atheistic beliefs. A marriage concluded according to a Catholic or Protestant rite is recognized by the Orthodox Church.
The church refuses to marry if one of the couple is currently married to another person. If the marriage is registered in the registry office, it must be annulled, if in the church, then you need to get permission from the bishop to dissolve it and, at the same time, a blessing for a new marriage. Also do not get married more than three times.
The Church does not encourage the marriage of close relatives, up to second cousins, sisters and others (fourth degree of relationship).
You can not get married to godfathers who baptized one child, as well as godparents with godchildren.
What days you can not get married. next moment is the schedule of wedding days, i.e. those dates on which the sacrament of the wedding is not performed:
Exceptions can be made with the blessing of the bishop if there are good reasons.
Wedding and official marriage in the registry office. At present, for the wedding ceremony, the Russian Orthodox Church requires the presentation of a marriage registration certificate by authorities representing the state.
Pregnancy and marriage. The church allows weddings during pregnancy, as it encourages church attendance by women in an interesting position. A child is God's gift, and a competent priest will never refuse a legally married Christian to hold a wedding ceremony because the bride is pregnant.
How to choose engagement rings for a wedding. For the wedding ceremony, the couple will need to purchase two wedding rings. Earlier, according to tradition, one of them was supposed to be gold (for the husband), and the other silver (for the wife). Now rings from the same precious metal (gold) and even rings decorated with stones are allowed. Rings are very important for the ceremony, because they are symbols of the inseparable unity of the souls of a man and a woman.
Wedding outfits for the bride and groom. The groom is supposed to be dressed neatly and strictly. The bride is recommended not too revealing outfit. If the dress opens the shoulders, back and has a deep neckline, then it is better to think in advance about the possibility of throwing on a cape or stole during the ceremony. The bride must be covered. A lace scarf, or a veil, fixed so that the face remains open - the choice is up to the bride. Regarding the details of the outfit, you can ask for recommendations from the priest, who will perform the ceremony. If the skirt is long and fluffy, then it is better to pin it up or pick it up in advance, since during the ceremony you will need to go around the lectern several times with a quick step, and the style of the skirt can make this somewhat difficult. It is also preferable for the bride to choose comfortable shoes, because the wedding ceremony can last from 40 minutes to 2 hours. In the case of the wedding of a couple who are expecting a child, it is possible to coordinate with the Father Superior the availability of a high chair if the woman suddenly feels very tired during the ceremony.
When planning a wedding, you need to discuss all sorts of points in advance with the priest who will conduct the ceremony, and you should especially seriously think about the very need to formalize a church marriage. Indeed, by and large, a marriage overshadowed by the grace of God is concluded once and for all life.
In every undertaking, it is very important to follow the rules. Starting a life together, many newlywed couples try to do everything right. This also applies to weddings.
On the day of the wedding, everything should go like clockwork. It is necessary to calculate the time for the preparations of the bride and groom, the time to arrive and redeem the bride, the time for the wedding, painting and, most importantly, video and photography. It’s better not to think that the bride may not have time to do her hair and makeup or the groom will get stuck in a traffic jam. There are so many worries and troubles on this day. However, all the fuss disappears at the moment when the young people come to the church to get married.
Getting into the Lord's temple, where silence and tranquility reign, it seems that the whole world has stopped. A wedding is a very important ceremony for almost every couple. In addition to the fact that this ceremony is recent times became popular, it is also the right decision. By entering into a church marriage, young people make a promise before the Face of the Lord that they will love each other until death do them part.
Many people who, even after the wedding, still decide to divorce, are stopped by the thought of this promise to God. A wedding is a sacrament that takes place not on earth, but in heaven, which is secured not by a seal or stamp, but by a promise before the Lord.
Many couples wonder if they can get married on Saturday? After all, Saturday is the perfect day for a wedding. In general, weddings are prohibited on Saturday, as well as on Tuesday and Thursday.
This beautiful ceremony is becoming more and more popular at the present time - a wedding in a church. They say that the stamp in the passport, in principle, does not change anything. This is not so - there is a legal responsibility of one person to another. But marriage is a much more subtle matter. And let everyone who refers to this rite only as a tribute to fashion think about it: they don’t officially debunk it in Russia! In extreme cases, only the highest rank of the church clergy, and not the local priest, can make a decision on dethronement. Therefore, a couple can get divorced, part, but before God, the married remain husband and wife.
Note that local priests allow themselves to interpret the basic rules for performing rituals in different ways. However, here will be given the canons that are considered the most correct - everyone can determine the degree of violations to which he can go.
The church is very strict about the number of marriages. Therefore, if the spouses register their third marriage, then they can still be admitted to the wedding ceremony. The church does not bless the fourth and fifth marriages. In principle, the priest will not ask the young for a marriage certificate issued by the registry office - a wedding and secular marriage are different ceremonies. They have a completely different meaning, and the wedding in Russia has not yet acquired the mandatory character that a similar ceremony has in Europe. You can get married before entering into an official marriage, and after a long cohabitation in an official marriage. The main thing is that those who are getting married take full responsibility for the step taken.
Often a wedding is divided into two days: one day is a secular ceremony, the second is a wedding. Their sequence is not predetermined by strict rules. But if we consider all the subtleties, then the church blesses the young for a life together, including the fulfillment of marital duty, by conducting a ceremony. And if we take into account the fact that the church does not marry on Saturday, and the ceremony can be performed either on Friday or Sunday, the conclusion suggests itself: what could be the ceremony of handing over a girl to her husband after the wedding night? Of course, it is better that the wedding takes place before the official festivities and everything that follows after. Moreover, believers generally prefer not to take off the rings they wear at the wedding. Therefore, it is better to prepare other rings for the ceremony at the registry office (or one for the bride). You can generally bypass the process of exchanging rings in the registry office in order to preserve the grace communicated to these symbols of love and fidelity in the church.
Regarding the witnesses, there are no clear rules for the wedding. However, people must be present who will hold the crowns over the heads of the young, and this is a rather difficult task, since the crowns weigh decently. This nuance is quite acceptable to discuss with the priest of the local parish, since it does not have a fundamental significance in this rite.
In post solemn church rites are usually not held, especially if fasting is strict. There are indulgences on certain days, but this is also negotiated for each specific case. However, if the issue is not fundamental, then it is better to postpone the wedding for a time not associated with fasting.
On the contrary, great feasts do not prohibit the holding of ritual church services. It is necessary to find out in advance whether it is possible to conduct a wedding ceremony in a particular religious holiday in a particular church - the refusal may be related to the individual employment of the priest - after all, everyone tries to time the holding of church rites for some major holidays (for example, for the Intercession), believing that on such days those who are getting married or undergoing the rite of baptism receive the greatest protection.
If the bride has monthly discharge at the time of the planned wedding, the ceremony must be canceled. The Church strictly forbids a woman to cross the threshold of the temple on critical days. You can come to the service, but be only in the porch - not a step further! Therefore, of course, it is not allowed to get married or baptize on such days. The church does not welcome the wedding ceremony in a state of pregnancy - it is better after childbirth.
There are unwritten rules that everyone who gets married must follow. So, it is necessary to save the towel on which the newlyweds stood during the wedding - it symbolizes their joint life path. Candles left over from the wedding are best preserved and used only in the most special cases - according to popular beliefs, they have great healing and blessing power. Icons received in the church are best hung either in the family corner for icons, or above the bed of the newlyweds. In the second case, according to the rules of the Christian religion, they must be equipped with light curtain.
A wedding is an extraordinary ceremony. He brings grace and peace to the family. And do not worry about some of the words that are invariable in the wedding ceremony: “Let the wife be afraid of her husband,” for example. Today, according to the clergy, this means only respect and reverence for the husband, which, in fact, is not enough for modern wives.
