A phrase from the chronicle “The Tale of Bygone Years” by the ancient Russian chronicler, monk of the Kiev-Pechersk Monastery Nestor (XI- beginning of XII c.) - “Our land is great and abundant, but there is no order in it; and go reign and rule over us.”
According to Nestor, in 862 the Slavic envoys turned to the Varangians from the Rus tribe.
Russian historian Vladimir Solovyov wrote in “History of Russia since Ancient Times” (vol. 1, chapter 4) that before this conversion the Varangians had already ruled the Slavs, but were expelled. After the expulsion of the Varangians Slavic tribes they themselves began to manage their lands, but “they owned it poorly, they could not establish internal order: There was no truth between them, the chronicler continues, generation after generation arose, strife began. In such circumstances, the tribes gathered and said: “Let us look for a prince who would rule over us and judge us by right.” Then they turned to the Varangians of the Rus tribe with a request to return: “Our land is great and abundant, but there is no order in it: come to reign and rule over us.”
Then three brothers came - Rurik, Sineus and Truvor to rule the Slavs and, after some time, this land began to be called Russia.
I chose the phrase from Nestor’s chronicle “Our whole land is great and abundant, but there is no clothing in it” as an epigraph to his satirical poem“History of the Russian State from Gostomysl to Timashev” (1868).
The historian describes this episode of Russian history as follows (" " (1803-1826), chapter 4:):
"Nestor writes that the Slavs of Novgorod, Krivichi, Ves and Chud sent an Embassy overseas, to the Varangians-Rus, to tell them: Our land is large and abundant, but there is no order in it: Come reign and rule over us. The words are simple, short and strong! Brothers named Rurik, Sineus and Truvor, famous either by birth or deeds, agreed to take power over people who, although they knew how to fight for freedom, did not know how to use it. Surrounded by a numerous Scandinavian army, ready to assert with the sword the rights of the chosen Sovereigns, these ambitious brothers left their fatherland forever. Rurik arrived in Novgorod, Sineus to Beloozero in the region of the Finnish people Vesi, and Truvor to Izborsk, the city of Krivichi. Smolensk, also inhabited by the Krivichs, and Polotsk itself remained independent and did not take part in the calling of the Varangians. Consequently, the power of three rulers, united by ties of kinship and mutual benefit, from Belaozero extended only to Estonia and the Slavic Keys, where we see the remains of ancient Izborsk. This part of the current St. Petersburg, Estland, Novogorod and Pskov Provinces was then called Russia, but after the Varangian-Russian Princes. We no longer know any reliable details; We don’t know whether the people blessed the change in their civil statutes?”
GIFT EDITION OF THE FAMOUS HISTORY OF COUNT A.K. TOLSTOY
THE BEST GUIDE FOR STUDYING NEW TEXTBOOKS ON THE HISTORY OF THE RF
CALLING OF THE VARYAGS
1. Listen, guys, to what your grandfather will tell you.
Our land is rich, but there is no order in it.
2. And this truth, children, has been for a thousand years
Our ancestors realized: There is no order, you see.
3. And they all stood under the banner, And they said: “What should we do?
Let's send to the Varangians: Let them come to reign.
4. After all, the Germans are tortuous, They know darkness and light,
Our land is rich, but there is no order in it.”
5. The messengers quickly went there
And they say to the Varangians: “Come, gentlemen!
6. We will give you gold like Kyiv sweets;
Our land is rich, but there is no order in it.”
7. The Varangians felt terrified, but they thought: “What's going on here?
Trying is not a joke - Let’s go if they call you!”
8. And then three brothers came, middle-aged Varangians,
They look - the land is rich, but there is no order at all.
9 “Well,” they think, “a team! Here the devil will break his leg,
Es ist ja eine Schande, Wir müssen wieder fort.”[It's a shame we should get away. (German)]
862 -879. Rurik's reign
10. But older brother Rurik, “Wait,” he said to others, “
Fortgeh’n wär ungebürlich, Vielleicht ist’s nicht so schlimm.
[ It would be rude to leave, but maybe it’s not so bad. (German)]
11 Even though the team is lousy, Almost one is just trash;
Wir bringen’s schön zustande, Versuchen wir einmal.”
[We can do this, let's try. (German)]
12. And he began to reign powerfully, He reigned for seventeen years,
The land was abundant, There was no order!
882 - 945. Reign of Oleg and Igor
13. Prince Igor reigned after him, and Oleg ruled over him,
Das war ein großer Krieger And clever man. [He was a great warrior (German)]
946 -972. Reign of Olga and Svyatoslav
14. Then Olga reigned, and after Svyatoslav;
So ging die Reihenfolge of the pagan powers. [This was the sequence (German)]
972-980. FIRST FRACRICIDAL WAR
between the sons of Svyatoslav from different wives.
980 - 1015. Reign of Kagan-Prince Vladimir
15. When Vladimir ascended to his father’s throne,
Da endigte für immer Die alte Religion. [Then the end of the old religion came. (German)]
16. He suddenly said to the people: “After all, our gods are rubbish,
Let’s go and get baptized in the water!” And he made Jordan for us.
17. “Perun is very disgusting! When we push him off,
You’ll see what kind of order we’ll create!”
. Vladimir was baptized with the name Vasily. Christianity became the state religion of the Kyiv Metropolis of the Patriarch of Constantinople. Persecution of the Magi and other pagans.
Second fratricidal war (between 12 sons of Vladimir from several wives)
18. He sent for priests to Athens and Constantinople,
The priests came in droves, crossed themselves and burned incense,
19. They sing to themselves touchingly and fill their pouch;
The earth, as it is, is abundant, but there is no order.
20. Vladimir died of grief, without creating order.
The Great Yaroslav soon began to reign after him.
1015 - 1054. Reign of Prince YaroslavI
21. Perhaps there would be order with this,
But out of love for children he divided the whole earth.
22. The service was bad, and the children, seeing it,
Let's tease each other: Who does what and what does what!
Third fratricidal war— between the descendants of Yaroslav - walked almost 600 years.
1223. APPEARANCE OF THE MONGOLS. Battle of Kalka. Defeat of the Rurikovichs.
23. The Tatars found out: “Well,” they thought, “don’t be a coward!”
We put on trousers and arrived in Rus'.
24. “Because of your supposed argument, the Earth went upside down,
Wait, we’ll soon bring order to you.”
1237 . Invasion of Khan Batu. Foundation of the Golden Horde.
1237 - 1480. Rus' - ULUS OF THE GOLDEN HORDE.
25. They shout: “Let’s pay tribute!” (at least bring the saints)
There is a lot of all sorts of rubbish here in Rus'.
26. Every day, brother brings word against brother to the horde;
The earth seems to be rich, but there is no order at all.
1462-1505. Ivan's reignIIIVasilievich
1480. “Standing on the Ugra” and the end of the Tatar yoke.
27. Ivan the Third appeared; He says: " You're being naughty!
We are no longer children!” I sent shish to the Tatars.
28. And now the earth is free from all evils and troubles
And it’s very grainy, but there’s still no order.
1505 -1537. Vasily's reignIIIand his widow Helen, ur. Glinskaya
1547 -1586. Tsar Ivan IV Vasilyevich (Grozny)
29. Ivan the Fourth came, He was the Third’s grandson;
Grated roll for the kingdom And the spouses of many wives.
30. Ivan Vasilich the Terrible was to him namename
Because he was a serious, respectable person.
31. He is not sweet in his ways, But he is not lame in his mind;
This one has established order, At least roll it with a ball!
32. One could live carefree under such a king;
But ah! - nothing lasts forever - And Tsar Ivan died!
1586 - 1598. Tsar Fedor and boyar-oprichnik Boris Godunov
33. Fedor began to reign after him, a living contrast to the Father;
He was not a cheerful mind, he was only too keen to ring a bell.
END OF THE FIRST DYNASTY (Rurikovich)
15 years of INTERGOVERNMENT from 1598 to 1613, or TIME OF TROUBLES
1598 - 1605. Tsar Boris Godunov. First Patriarch Job.
34. Boris, the Tsar’s brother-in-law, was not a joke,
He was dark-haired, with a handsome face, and sat on the royal throne.
35. With him everything went smoothly, the old evils disappeared,
He didn’t bring a little bit of order to the land.
36. Unfortunately, an impostor, out of nowhere,
Such a dance was given to us, That Tsar Boris died.
1605 - 1606. Tsar Dmitry Ivanovich. The first impostor recognized by the boyars, clergy and the birth mother of Tsarevich Dmitry. Patriarch Ignatius was installed instead of Job, who was exiled to Staritsa. The impostor was confirmed as king in the Assumption Cathedral. The boyars and princes of Rurik (including Dmitry Pozharsky) swore allegiance to the impostor. Killed by supporters of boyar Vasily Shuisky (Rurikovich).
37. And, having climbed onto Boris’s place, this impudent
Nogami started chatting with his bride out of joy.
38. Although he was a brave guy and not even a fool,
But under his power the Pole began to rebel.
39. Otherwise we don’t like it; And then one night
We gave them pepper and drove them all away.
1606 - 1610. Tsar Vasily Ivanovich (Shuisky). The boyars forcibly tonsured him as a monk and took him to the Polish king Sigismund, where he died in captivity.
40. Vasily ascended the throne, But soon the whole earth
We asked him to go away.
41. The Poles returned, the Cossacks were brought;
There was confusion and fights: Poles and Cossacks,
42. Cossacks and Poles beat us again and again;
Without a king, we are like crayfish, We are grieving broke.
43. The passions were direct - Not worth a penny.
It is known that without power you cannot go far.
44. To straighten the royal throne and elect a king again,
Here Minin and Pozharsky quickly gathered an army.
1613 - 1646. Tsar Michael Fed. and Patriarch Filaret (Romanovs).
45. And the force of the Poles drove them out again,
The land of Michael ascended to the Russian throne.
46. It happened in the summer; But was there an agreement -
The story about this remains silent until now.
47. Warsaw and Vilna sent us their greetings;
The land was abundant - There was no order.
1646 - 1676. Tsar Alexei Mikhailovich Romanov
48. Alexey sat down as king, then gave birth to Peter.
A new time has come for the state. Here is a new time.
1676 - 1682. Tsar Fedor Alekseevich
1682 -1725. Two Tsars Ivan V and Peter I (then one Peter)
49. Tsar Peter loved order, Almost like Tsar Ivan,
And he was also not sweet, sometimes he was drunk.
50. He said: “I feel sorry for you, you will disappear completely;
But I have a stick, And I am the father of you all!
And immediately went to Amsterdam for order.
52. Returning from there, He shaved us smooth,
And for Christmas, it’s a miracle, I dressed up like the Dutch.
53. But this, however, is a joke; I don’t blame Peter:
Give the patient's stomach Rhubarb is beneficial.
54. Although the technique was very strong, perhaps;
But still, Order became quite strong under him.
55. But sleep overtook grave Peter in the prime of his life,
Look, the earth is abundant, but there is no order again.
HUNDRED YEARS OF PALACE COUPS
56. Many people reigned here meekly or sternly,
There are not too many kings, but more queens.
57. Biron reigned under Anna; He was a real gendarme,
We sat as if in a bathtub with him, das Gott erbarm! [God have mercy! (German)]
1740 - 1760. Reign of Elizabeth (daughter of Peter and Litvinka Martha Skavroschanko = Catherine I)
58. Merry Queen
There was Elizabeth:
Sings and has fun
There is just no order.
1761-1762. Emperor Peter III. Duke of HOLSTEIN-GOTTORP. Killed by guards
1762 -1796. his wife Catherine II (ur. Sophia-Augusta-Friederike Anhaldt-Zerbst)
59. What is the reason for this and where is the root of evil,
Catherine herself could not comprehend.
60. “Madame, with you, Order will bloom amazingly, –
Voltaire and Diderot wrote to her politely,
61. It is only necessary for the people, whose mother you are,
Give us freedom soon, give us freedom soon”.
62. "Messieurs,- She objected to them, - vous me comblez”, – [Gentlemen, you are too kind to me. (French)]
And she immediately pinned the Ukrainians to the ground.
1796 - 1801. Emperor Paul I of Holstein-Gottorp (Romanov). Killed (strangled by conspirators).
63. Paul, the Maltese cavalier, began to reign after her,
But he didn’t exactly rule in a knightly manner.
1801 - 1825. Emperor Alexander I Pavlovich. Z fell ill with an unknown cause and died in Taganrog).
64. Tsar Alexander the First came to replace him,
His nerves were weak, But he was a gentleman.
1812 -1815. War with Napoleon and his allies (12 languages).
65. When the army of a hundred thousand is at us in excitement
Pushed Bonaparte, He[Alexander] began to retreat.
66. It seemed, well, lower You can’t sit in a hole,
And, lo and behold: we are already in Paris, With Louis le Désiré. [ Louis (Desired)(French) - after restoration]
67. At that time the color of Russia blossomed very strongly,
The land was abundant, but there was no order.
68. The last legend I would write mine,
But I expect punishment, I'm afraid Monsieur Velliot.
[ Velio I.O. – dir. post office dept. Ministry of Internal Affairs in 1868-1880]
69. It can be slimy to walk on some pebbles,
So, we’d better keep silent about what’s close.
78. So, having started again, I finish my column
From the Nativity of Christ In the year sixty-eight.
79. Seeing that things are getting worse for us,
The Lord has sent us quite a husband.
80. For our consolation We are like the light of dawn,
Reveal your face Timashev - The order of the courtyard.
81. That I am a great sinner On these mortal leaves
Do not hastily add notes or rewrites,
82. That, before and behind Reading all the days,
Correct the truth for the sake of it, don’t curse Scripture.
83. Compiled from blades of grass This unwise story
The thin, humble monk Servant of God Alexey.
Note. A.K. Tolstoy, mentioning his work in letters, each time gave different abbreviated versions of the titles: “History of Russia”, “Abridged Russian History”. According to the testimony of V.M., close to Tolstoy. Zhemchuzhnikov, satire should be entitled “Abridged Russian history from Gostomysl to Timashev”(see: A. Baboreko. New information about the poems of A.K. Tolstoy. - In the magazine “Russian Literature”, 1959, No. 3, pp. 200-201). But publishers of the 19th century. chose the most cumbersome name - “History of the Russian State from Gostomysl to Timashev.” Chosen for its similarity to the title of the essay N.M. Karamzin - “History of the Russian State.” It became canonical . And for more than 100 years now, readers have had to explain who Timashev is and why he ended up in Russian History.
Since Tolstoy himself did not finally establish the name, the shortest and most understandable title was chosen from various author’s options for the title of the page on the site: "Russian history". In addition, unlike the canonical editions, I inserted into the text important events and dates of reign princes and kings, like those mentioned in the “History” of Count A.K. Tolstoy, and those that he missed. Moreover, for some periods missed in his “History” and some incomprehensible expressions, I made Notes (see bottom of page). This was done for a purely practical purpose - for the convenience of readers, since Tolstoy does not indicate dates at all and often talks about a lot either in passing or with hints that are understandable only to his contemporaries.
We must not forget that his "History" was a satire on the state official ideology - the same one that in our time they dream of reviving in the Russian Federation (see Chimes). Satire A.K. Tolstoy, naturally, was distributed secretly, it was copied by hand. The poet could talk about many things in his “History” only with hints and “Aesopian language.” Both are well understood by contemporaries, but subsequent generations no longer understand why the information embedded in each word is lost.
All poets and writers are forced to do the same. at any time. An example would be the author Sequels"Stories" of Tolstoy, who lived 100 years later after him. By comparing texts, we can easily find similarity in the political environment in the royal Russia XIX V. And in the Soviet Union in the 20th century, but, more importantly, with the one that exists in the Russian Federation at the beginning of the 21st century.
It must be said that, in addition to “History from Gostomysl to Timashev,” Count A.K. Tolstoy in his time wrote many similar works, suitable “for all times.” They are given in other sections on this site, but for now let’s return to “History” and get acquainted with its Continuation in the Soviet period.
Once upon a time I made up a simple tale from blades of grass
Thin, humble monk, Count Alexei Tolstoy.
I won’t compete with him, even if you ask me forever,
I, too, will not find order in Rus'.
And the stones are now slicker, it’s scary to look at them!
Well, okay, sit closer, I’ll gossip something.
1903 - 1907. WAR WITH JAPAN and REVOLUTION.
I’ll start from afar - the twentieth century has arrived.
Beat us from the East, we are in rebellion, dieOrdnung- weg! (Order out!)
The king was then frightened:
“Mein Tron ist gar nicht fest!” (“The throne is not at all strong!”)
He ordered the Manifesto to be posted at our windows.
There was a lot of noise here, and yet, finally,
We sat down to think about the Duma in the Tauride Palace.
Other people's fashions have gone - well, just Renaissances:
They set up factories, Modern and Decadence.
The land, as of old, is vast, as of old, there is no order,
We were sitting quietly in front of the Duma, but then our neighbor attacked.
1914 ― 1917. WAR WITH GERMANY. Overthrow of the king.
To get rid of the Germans, we overthrew the royal throne,
They set up a board of temporary persons.
There are free newspapers, cadets and Soviets,
Let's go write pamphlets - freedom is not in vain!
Scolded defeatists, bourgeois, renegades,
Pops, Jews, Germans, each other and the Tsar!
Ilyich came to us from the Finlyandsky Station,
He made his famous speech from an armored car.
In this April speech, he called on all power
Give it to the Soviets as quickly as possible, give it to the Soviets as quickly as possible.
[Soon Ilyich prevailed over the temporary power,
And it was in October, and it happened at night].
Since then, fortunately, the Bolsheviks have been in power,
Sharing this power is considered rude.
1918-1920. CIVIL WAR
They drove out the Founder, removed the “er” from the ends,
And whoever reached into the bottle experienced the severity of the measures.
Decrees shook the country many times;
The capital was carefully moved to Moscow.
To restore order, they arranged a Cheka.
However, order was not sweet for the peasant.
Moreover, life was unfulfilled, and with such melancholy
Both secretly and openly the men rebelled.
Individual figures from them gathered an army
And they started to fight against the dictatorship.
Estonians and Livonians, Ukrainians, Finns -
Everyone has become foreigners, God will sort them out!
Poles and Cossacks They beat us again and again,
Sometimes we back away like crayfish, sometimes we move forward.
There was such a slaughter that there was a groan throughout the entire Earth.
I have nothing to add here: they harassed each other.
1921-1924. NEP. Death of Lenin.
When we made peace, we wondered: where is the bread?
Ilyich said: “Have you fasted? Enough. There will be NEP!”
With this NEP, the people soon straightened their flesh,
But immediately, as if on a mountain, the Lord called the leader.
[When he died, he looked around his people and his country,
But all his property was worth nothing compared to the order — per. with him. ].
Before his death, he bequeathed us to the Georgians.
So that there is no sadness, he promised the people:
“The Georgian is mustachioed and disgusting, he doesn’t behave like that,
But still, he will quickly restore order.”
1924-1953. SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE CPSU (b) - I.V. STALIN.
The mustachioed new leader was serious:
Sometimes he put us into fear and trembling for no reason.
« Caring about order, he thought, bustle,
While our beds are filled with weeds and crowded conditions».
Deciding to get some sense out of us this time,
He began cleaning and weeding at the same hour.
Since then the fun began - we live happily:
For fun, we call weeding planting.
We became very rare and waited to see whose turn it was.
Who was trash and who was sweets, they didn’t know in advance.
Swallowed all the pills, didn’t wince from the enemas:
Collective farms, five-year plans - and lo and behold - socialism!
I’ve already restored my mustachioed order,
Yes, the possessed German led troops against us.
1941 - 1945. THE GREAT PATRIOTIC WAR.
[ INthe war was without mercy. It was hard for us at first
Then they fought better: the German army surrendered— per. with him. ].
We thought we would enjoy the fruits of victory in freedom:
There is more land now, but there is no order.
1953. Death of I.V. Stalin.
But the leader constantly put us in order,
He worked incessantly and did not spare his health.
And he took ill and died soon; we had to cry.
When suffering from grief, there were no casualties.
1956 - 1964. GENERAL SECRETARY OF THE CPSU N.S. Khrushchev
But the holy place will not be empty for long:
The heirs were choking until they crunched for power.
They fought at the trough, but he was fat and brave,
Nikita defeated everyone, which justified his name. [Nikita (Greek) - on behalf of the goddess of victory Nike]
Nikita judged the order with his saltyk,
He played hide and seek with the mustachioed man and stuck out his tongue.
Said: “Die Usatiy, and the cult with him, we don’t give a damn.
Follow me, guys, we’ll show you the motherfucker!”
To restore order means to build communism!
He’s there, you see, looming!” And fell into voluntarism".
That’s why Nikita sunk into oblivion like an axe.
This cannot be understood until now.
Since 1964 - SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE CPSU BREZHNEV and MEMBERS OF THE POLITIBURO.
And on the empty stage, having descended to our needs,
May the Lord provide a replacement very learned husband.
Since then we have had different management,
Another way to restore order in Rus'.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
It’s awkward to climb a mountain, slipping on pebbles.
That's why I'm finishing up and no longer walking:
And I really feel a chill under my belly.
There is no point in walking near geese in empty boasting -
Know your limits in impudence, like the monk Alexei.
When reading these verses, reader, do not be strict,
Having thought about the subject, forgive the clumsy syllable.
Evgeny Chernyavsky. Poems and drawings. 1975
Alexey Konstantinovich Tolstoy
Our land is rich, but there is just no order in it... (Humorous and satirical poems)
PRUDENCE
After thinking carefully,
I have chosen my path
And I walk along it without noise,
Little by little, little by little!
However, I'm not passionless,
I'm not cold at heart
And it’s boiling inside me
Zealous, zealous!
If anyone offends me,
I won’t let it go, how can it be!
I'm just about to lose my temper
Careful, careful!
I can love madly
But, of course, to love meaningfully,
I'm ready to cut the truth
Quietly, quietly!
If my brother choked,
I wouldn't wave my arms
I would immediately rush into the water,
With bubbles, with bubbles!
Glad to fight for my homeland!
Let me only hear buckshot,
I'll lie down on my chest in an open field,
No injury, no injury!
I will also serve in the synclite,
So that descendants know;
But if you have to fall -
So straws, so straws!
Whoever is my friend is my friend forever,
All relatives are close to the heart,
I serve all allies,
In Austrian, in Austrian!
Late 1853 or early 1854
A. M. ZEMCHUZHNIKOV
I enter your office
I'm looking for you, slacker,
It's like you're not there,
You know, it's Monday.
Maybe come over
To me today with my brother:
Have tea with me
And duck with watercress.
Hungarian wine
Waiting for you (in a bottle, in a bottle -
I don't know), but a long time ago
Potatoes have already been ordered.
I'm alone in the city
And the mother lives in the country,
Due to such reasons
I'm looking forward to dinner good luck.
Armenian glorious land
Lies beyond Ararat,
Maybe come over
Come see me today with your brother!
Filled with an eternal ideal,
I was born not to serve, but to sing!
Don't let me, Phoebus, be a general,
Don't let me become innocently stupid!
O Phoebus omnipotent! at the parade
Hear my voice from above:
Don't let me understand, for God's sake,
Holy sock poetry!
SPRING FEELINGS OF THE UNBASED ANCIENT
Will I get that story?
When spring comes
And young chicory
Yellowness will shine!
Already with love thirst
My whole chest is on fire,
And jump up every sliver
Strives for a sliver.
Earth with new flowers
Covered up again
Let's go bulls and cows
Walk in the green meadow,
And, with a charming force
Dragging them after the herd,
I'm ready unconsciously
Become a bull yourself!
February 1859
REVOLT IN THE VATICAN
The castrati rebelled,
Entering father's chambers:
“Why aren’t we married?
How are we to blame?
Dad tells them sternly:
“What kind of synagogue is this?
Aren't you afraid of God?
Away! Get out of here!”
They said to him: “It’s okay for you,
You live a cool life
But we are so hopeless,
It's very annoying!
You live in freedom
Tea, rubbed my calluses,
Tell me: is it like this?
In our bitter lot?
Dad tells them: “Children,
It was before you looked,
Having lost these things,
You have to be patient!
I feel sorry for your loss;
I, perhaps, in the form of a fee,
I will order from the best cotton wool
Put some patches on you!”
They said to him: “What do we need cotton wool for?
This is good for a robe!
Not soft, but hard
The thing we need is something!”
Dad to them: “I’ll give you a place in heaven,
There will be a bride for everyone,
Two pounds of dough per month.
Judge: the weight!”
Those to him: “What do we need in the dough,
Be it at least two hundred poods,
You can't fashion a bride with him
What to do with living with her!”
“Oh, it’s not easy! -
Dad said from the pedestal, -
Since something fell from the cart,
So write, it’s gone!
This thing,” dad added, “
Get lost even with Priapus,
There is no aesculapius for this,
This thing is not a hat!
And what are you really?
If you lived in my chapel,
Under the command of Antonelli,
Yes, they sang cantatas!”
“No,” the castrati answer, “
Pius, you are such a ninth,
We've already become husky,
Sing cantatas!
Would you like it for a diva?
Sing “Casta diva” to us yourself?
Yes, not rudely, but squeaky,
Subtly especially?
Dad was scared: “Children,
Why should I sing subtly?
And how can I understand
Are these proposals?
Those to him: “Simple science,
We guarantee you this
He chirped once, and that’s the whole point -
Here comes the razor! Come on!”
Dad thinks: “It’s
It wouldn't even be fashionable
I should show off the neuter gender!”
Sending for De Merode.
De-Merode at that time,
With the king preparing for battle,
Worked out under the mountain
Papal infantry:
Everyone is wearing silk cassocks,
Their satchels are made of new skins,
Full of spruce cones,
Himself in purple stockings.
Venerati runs up:
“You,” he shouts, “have no time for fighting!
There they want, completely inappropriately,
Daddy should be celibate!”
Experienced in military formation,
De Merode bent three times over,
He sees that things are bad,
He says: “What is it?”
Venerati repeats:
“Now you have no time for fighting,
They want it there, it’s not at all convenient,
Daddy should be celibate!”
Hearing this phrase again,
De Merode understood immediately
He says: “It looks like it;
Obey the order!
The trumpets immediately sounded,
An intense fever broke out in the army,
That's how everyone watches
Give him a butt in the teeth?
De Merode, in a cocked hat,
In a cassock fresh from the needle,
They are all carried in a one-wheeler
To daddy's light.
As soon as the soldiers entered it,
The castrati were afraid,
They say: “We are to blame!
We will sing without paying!
Good dad is free
Once again he cares about the people,
And to the castrati De Merode
Say something like this:
“Wait, you villains!
I’ll hang everyone for... me!”
Dad said, blushing slightly:
“You have to be smarter!” (Option for ladies:)
…
And to the castrati De Merode
Say something like this:
“Anyone who is involved in this riot,
He deserved to be hanged!
Dad said, completely consoled:
“I alone am sinless!”
And the end came to all disputes;
The former decorum at court,
And the castrati squeal in unison
Right up to ad finem seculorum!..
February–March 1864
HISTORY OF THE RUSSIAN STATE FROM GOSTOMYSL TO TIMASHEV
Our whole land is great and abundant, but there is no decoration in it.
Nestor, Chronicle, p. 8
Listen guys
What will grandfather tell you?
Our land is rich
There is just no order in it.
A. K. Tolstoy
History of Russian Goverment
from Gostomysl to Timashev
This is the name that has stuck with us for the poem by Alexei Konstantinovich Tolstoy, which he wrote in 1868. This poem - clearly humorous, even satirical - sets out the basic facts in an assertive style Russian history and therefore, it can probably serve as an invaluable tool for today’s schoolchildren on the subject “History of the Fatherland.” In any case, I myself learned history from Tolstoy’s poem.
By the way, studying history is extremely useful. I’ll just give you one pretty famous example. The husband bursts into the house and shouts to his wife from the threshold: “I know everything, this is how you are!” And in response he hears the imperturbable: “Yes? You know everything? But when was the Battle of Grunwald? Most likely, after this, the husband will immediately understand that he got a little excited.
Returning to the poem by A.K. Tolstoy: probably the ability to be a guide to national history- this is not its only advantage, otherwise it is difficult to explain why it has been extremely popular for almost a century and a half. And this despite the fact that a certain level of education is still required from the reader: Count Tolstoy, a child of his enlightened age, is not at all embarrassed in choosing a language if he needs to rhyme something. Therefore, no edition of the “History of the Russian State” is complete without commentary. From time to time we will stop reading to coordinate our understanding of the underlined words and expressions.
So, let's get started? Alexey Konstantinovich Tolstoy, “History of the Russian State from Gostomysl to Timashev.”
Our whole land is great and abundant, but there is no decoration in it. Nestor, chronicle, pp. 8
| 1 Listen, guys, to what your grandfather will tell you. Our land is rich, but there is no order in it. 2 And this truth, children, For a thousand years our ancestors have realized: There is no order, you see. 3 And they all stood under the banner, And they said: “What should we do? Let's send to the Varangians: Let them come to reign. 4 After all, the Germans are tolerant, They know darkness and light, Our land is rich, There is just no order in it.” 5 The messengers went there quickly and said to the Varangians: “Come, gentlemen! 6 We will give you gold, like Kyiv sweets; Our land is rich, but there is no order in it.” | 7 The Varangians felt terrified, but they thought: “What’s going on here? Trying is not a joke - Let’s go if they invite you!” 8 And then three brothers came, middle-aged Varangians, They looked - the land was rich, but there was no order at all. 9 “Well,” they think, “a team! Here the devil will break his leg, Es ist ja eine Schande, Wir müssen wieder fort" 10 But the elder brother Rurik, “Wait,” he said to others, Fortgeh"n wär" ungebührlich, Vielleicht ist"s nicht so schlimm. 11 Even though the team is lousy, Almost one is just trash; Wir bringen "s schon zustande, Versuchen wir einmal" 12 And he began to reign strongly, He reigned for seventeen years, The land was abundant, There was no order! |
In the Tale of Bygone Years, in a fragment for the year 862, we read: “... And there was no truth among them, and they had strife, and they began to fight with themselves. And they said to themselves: “Let’s look for a prince who would rule over us and judge us by right...”. The advice to invite Rurik and other “Varangians” to Novgorod came from the noble Novgorodian Gostomysl. Tolstoy’s Varangians speak to each other in modern and for some reason German, and they say the following.
Es ist ja eine Schande, wir müssen wieder fort(es ist ya aine shande, vir mussen vider fort) - what a shame: we have to get away again (German).
Fortgeh"n wär" ungebührlich, vielleicht ist"s nicht so schlimm(fortgein vär ungebürlich, fillleicht ists niht so schlim) - if we leave, then all sorts of conversations will start... maybe things are not so bad (German).
Wir bringen "s schon zustande, versuchen wir einmal(vir bringens shon tsushtande, ferzukhen vir ainmal) - may we cope: not gods, tea, pots are burned (German).
| 13 Prince Igor reigned after him, And Oleg ruled over him, Das war ein großer Krieger And a smart man. 14 Then Olga reigned, and after Svyatoslav; So ging die Reihenfolge of the pagan powers. 15 When Vladimir ascended to his father’s throne, Da endigte für immer Die alte Religion. 16 He suddenly said to the people: “After all, our gods are rubbish, Let’s go and be baptized in water!” AND Jordan made us. 17 “Perun is very disgusting! When we push him off, you’ll see what order we’ll create!” | 18 He sent for priests to Athens and Constantinople. The priests came in droves, cross themselves and burn incense, 19 sing to themselves touchingly and fill their pouch; The earth, as it is, is abundant, but there is no order. 20 Vladimir died of grief, without creating order. The Great Yaroslav soon began to reign after him. 21 Perhaps there would be order with this; But out of love for children he divided the whole earth. 22 The service was bad, And the children, seeing that, Let's push each other: Who is how and what is what! |
The Varangians quietly dissuaded each other, but the author - apparently by inertia - continues to actively use German words and expressions, rhyming them with Russian ones. He does it very naturally.
Das war ein großer Krieger (das war ein großer Krieger) - he was an outstanding warrior (German).
So ging die Reihenfolge (so ging di Reihenfolge) - this is the order in which the change took place (German).
Da endigte für immer die alte Religion(yes endigte für immer di alte religion) - it was then that the old religion ended forever (German).
Jordan made us- that is, he converted the pagan Kievites to Christianity, driving them into the waters of the Dnieper. As you know, Jesus Christ himself was baptized in the Jordan River.
| 23 The Tatars found out: “Well,” they thought, “don’t be a coward!” We put on trousers and arrived in Rus'. 24 “Because of your supposed argument, the Earth has gone upside down. Wait, we’ll soon bring you Order.” 25 They shout: “Let’s pay tribute!” (At least bring the saints.) There is a lot of all sorts of rubbish here in Rus'. 26 Every day, brother brings word against brother to the horde; The earth seems to be rich, but there is no order at all. 27 Ivan the Third appeared; He says: “You’re being naughty! We are no longer children!” I sent shish to the Tatars. | 28 And now the land is free from all evils and troubles and is very fertile, but still there is no order. 29 Ivan the Fourth came, He was the Third’s grandson; Grated roll for the kingdom And the spouses of many wives. 30 Ivan Vasilich the Terrible His name was Because he was a serious, respectable man. 31 He is not sweet in his ways, But he is not lame in his mind; This one has established order, At least roll it with a ball! 32 One could live carefreely under such a king; But ah! nothing lasts forever - And Tsar Ivan will die! |
From the colorful scene of the Tatars pulling on their trousers to the first (that is, the Third) Ivan Vasilyevich, who sent a mysterious shish to the Tatars - two and a half centuries flashed by completely unnoticed, isn’t it?
Name - that is, by name. Tolstoy’s parody of official papers, in which the word “name” sometimes served as a substitute for the real name: “such and such.”
| 33 Fedor began to reign after him, a living contrast to the Father; He was not a cheerful mind, he was only too keen to ring a bell. 34 Boris, the Tsar's brother-in-law, was seriously smart, dark-haired, not bad-looking, and sat on the Tsar's throne. 35 With him everything went smoothly, the former evils disappeared, there was a little bit of order in the land he did not bring. 36 Unfortunately, the impostor, out of nowhere, gave us such a dance that Tsar Boris died. 37 And, having climbed onto Boris’s place, this impudent one swung his legs with joy with his bride. | 38 Although he was a brave guy and not even a fool, But under his power the Pole began to rebel. 39 Otherwise it is not to our hearts; And then one night We gave them pepper and drove them all away. 40 Vasily ascended the throne, But soon the whole earth asked Him to come down. 41 The Poles returned, the Cossacks were brought; There was confusion and fights: Poles and Cossacks, 42 Cossacks and Poles They beat us again and again; Without a king, we are like crayfish. We are grieving broke. |
Time of Troubles... The impudent man dangling his legs on the throne is the so-called False Dmitry the First, who became the Russian Tsar in 1605 and was killed by conspirators the following year. Those times were indeed very troubled. Never again have the Poles felt more confident with us than then. One of the boyars-conspirators, Vasily Shuisky, replaced False Dmitry on the Moscow throne, but, as they say, failed to cope with control, brought matters to the point of Swedish intervention, was overthrown and died in Polish captivity.
The ancient word paki means “again”, “again”.
| 43 The passions were direct - Not worth a penny. It is known that without power you cannot go far. 44 In order to straighten the royal throne and elect a king again, Minin and Pozharsky quickly gathered an army. 45 And the power of the Poles drove them out again, and the Earth brought Michael to the Russian throne. 46 It happened in the summer; But was there an agreement? The story about this remains silent until now. 47 Warsaw and Vilna sent us their greetings; The land was abundant - There was no order. 48 Alexey sat down as king, then begat Peter. A new time has come for the state. Here is a new time. | 49 Tsar Peter loved order, Almost like Tsar Ivan, And he was also not sweet, Sometimes he was drunk. 50 He said: “I feel sorry for you, you will perish completely; But I have a stick, And I am the father of you all!.. 51 Not until Christmas time I will give you order!” And immediately went to Amsterdam for order. 52 Returning from there, He shaved us clean, And for Christmas, it’s a miracle, He dressed us up like Dutchmen. 53 But this, however, is a joke, I don’t blame Peter: Giving a sick stomach Rhubarb is good for you. 54 Although the technique was very strong, perhaps; But still, Order became quite strong under him. |
But was there an agreement - the minor Mikhail was elevated to the throne in 1613 (he became the founder of the Romanov royal dynasty). According to legend, he allegedly signed some kind of paper that limited his autocratic power.
“But I have a stick, and I am the father of you all!..” - Peter’s logic looks as presented by A.K. Tolstoy is unusually convincing. In the next passage, Russia will also receive a mother - in the person of Catherine the Second.
| 55 But sleep overtook the grave of Peter in the prime of his life, You see, the earth is abundant, There is no order again. 56 Many people reigned here, meekly or strictly, Not too many kings, But more queens. 57 Biron reigned under Anna; He was a real gendarme, We sat as if in a bath with him, daß Gott erbarm! 58 There was a cheerful queen, Elizabeth: Singing and having fun, There was just no order. 59 What is the reason for this and where is the root of evil, Catherine herself could not comprehend. 60 “Madame, with you Order will bloom marvelously,” Voltaire and Diderot wrote to her politely, “ | 61 It is only necessary for the people, to whom you are the mother, to give freedom as quickly as possible, to give freedom as quickly as possible.” 62 “Messieurs,” She objected to them, “vous me comblez,” and immediately pinned the Ukrainians to the ground. 63 After her, Paul, the Maltese cavalier, began to reign, But he did not exactly rule in a knightly manner. 64 Tsar Alexander the First Came to replace him, His nerves were weak, But he was a gentleman. 65 When Bonaparte pushed an army of one hundred thousand against us in excitement, He began to retreat. 66 It seemed, well, below you can’t sit in a hole, And lo and behold: we’re already in Paris, With Louis le Désiré. |
At the mere mention of the Duke of Courland Ernst Biron, the de facto ruler during the reign of Peter the Great’s niece Anna, Tolstoy cannot resist a contrite exclamation addressed to the Lord, again in German: “... daß Gott erbarm!” (das Gott Erbarm) - “... save and have mercy!”
Talking about Catherine the Mother, the author confines himself mainly to her polite correspondence with Voltaire and Diderot (Diderot in French). Madame (madam) - this is how philosophers address Catherine, followed by many pleasant words for her. “Messieurs, vous me comblez (Monsieur, vous me comblez), “Gentlemen, you are too kind to me,” the great German woman on the Russian throne affectionately answers the French.
The mysterious disappearance in Russia of the “hundred-thousand-strong army of the gambling Bonaparte” (and at first it seemed that it was inferior to her, Russia, “you can’t sit in a hole”) so struck Europe that Alexander the First’s desire to see the middle-aged Louis (or Louis) at the head of France - Louis le Désiré (Louis le desire); désiré means “desired” in French) was readily performed.
| 67 At that time, the color of Russia blossomed very much, the Earth was abundant, there was no such thing as order. 68 The last legend I would write mine, But I expect punishment, I’m afraid of Monsieur Veillot. 69 It can be slippery to walk on some pebbles. So, we’d better keep silent about what’s close. 70 Let’s better leave the thrones, Let’s move on to the ministers. But what do I hear? groans, and screams, and sodom! | 71 What do I see! Only in fairy tales do we see such an outfit; The Ministers roll everything on small sleds. 72 From the mountain with a loud cry In corpore, in full, Sliding, they carry their names to their descendants. 73 This is Norov, this is Putyatin, this is Panin, this is Metlin, this is Brock, and this is Zamyatnin, this is Korf, this is Golovnin. 74 There are many, very many of them, It is impossible to remember them all, And down the same road they fly, sliding. |
“It can be slippery to walk on some pebbles.” This wise thought gives Alexei Konstantinovich Tolstoy an excellent opportunity to finish with historiography and move on to listing names that were more relevant for his time, but names that are no longer from the first row. Having mentioned Monsieur Veillot (Monsieur Veillot) (Baron I. O. Velio had headed the postal department in the Ministry of Internal Affairs since 1868 and was a constant target of ridicule from A.K. Tolstoy), the author fluently, in corpore (in corpore - in Latin: in general, in full force) lists other high-ranking officials. Among them we see famous people of that time: members of the State Council, admirals, academicians and counts. IN different years these people headed the Ministry of Public Education (A. S. Norov, E. V. Putyatin and A. V. Golovnin), the Censorship Committee (M. A. Korf), the Ministry of Justice (V. N. Panin and D. N. Zamyatnin ), as well as the Ministry of Finance (P.F. Brock).
| 75 I am a sinner: the chronicler I forgot my syllable; I couldn’t resist the picturesque picture. 76 Lyricism, capable of anything, I know, is in my blood; O Rev. Nestor, you inspire me. 77 Calm my conscience, My diligence is in vain, And give me my story to finish without cunning. 78 So, starting again, I end my column from the birth of Christ in the year sixty-eight. 79 Seeing that things were getting worse for us, the Lord sent us a lot of husbands. | 80 For our consolation, To us, like the light of dawn, Timashev reveals Your face - Establish order. 81 That I am a great sinner On these mortal sheets, Not hastily added or copied, 82 Reading from front and back all the days, Correct the truth for the sake of truth, Do not curse the Scriptures. 83 Compiled from the blades of grass This unwise, thin, humble monk, Servant of God Alexei, compiled a story. 1868 |
And finally, the ending. Having completely “forgotten his chronicle style,” Tolstoy did not forget about that main idea, which runs like a refrain throughout the poem. The name of this thought is Order. And Order is, as you know, the Ministry of Internal Affairs. It was this department that, since 1868, was headed by Alexander Egorovich Timashev, who was not at all very popular in liberal circles. But now, when the history of the Russian state has been replenished since the time of Tolstoy with a new century and a half, bloody and great, we can hardly be seriously interested in Timashev himself and Tolstoy’s attitude towards him...
Written in 1868, “The History of the Russian State from Gostomysl to Timashev” first saw the light only 15 years later, in 1883, after the death of A.K. Tolstoy. It’s interesting: if someone could adequately continue his “History” now - from Timashev to, say, Kudrin - what would come of it now?
Valentin Antonov, September 2008
