In 90% of cases, you are able to solve the problem yourself
He comes home from work, eats, goes to bed and turns to the wall, this has been going on for more than a year. He's cheating, you might think. Another woman is one of the reasons, but not the only one. First we analyze, look for the cause, then we solve it.
Don't blame him right away. Think for yourself what became the impetus for ignoring. Analyze your behavior. Only then talk to your husband, preferably without accusations or reproaches.
Hard work, family problems, conflict with colleagues affect a man psychologically. Women are accustomed to the fact that they can throw out their emotions at any moment, and it will become easier. We do this in order to throw out negative energy.
It's the other way around for them. The stronger sex is more reserved than us and is used to making decisions for itself. It's more difficult for them stressful situations. Negativity accumulates and presses from within.
The woman cried and that’s enough, after 5 minutes the problem was gone. Men carry it within themselves until they find a solution and calm down.
He needs help. They won't put the burden on your shoulders, but you can help. When he's tired, just let him rest, don't burden him with household chores. Go on vacation, to nature, to the sea, change your surroundings. Let him leave his problems at home.
Spouses quarrel - spouses make up, it’s good if this happens not only during the day, you know what I mean. Maybe your husband is offended by you, or you quarrel so often that there is no time for anything else. And if you think that this will only increase passion, you are wrong!
They are also sensitive and touchy, you can’t just forget. So he can’t. Resolve disagreements calmly. Start with the phrase: “let's discuss the situation,” or something like that. A scandal often arises out of nowhere, throw all the negativity aside (more about this in the article). If you want a strong family, learn to understand him.
It’s hard to get a man to see a doctor. But, if symptoms of the disease are visible, do it. The illness may affect his sexual attraction to you.
Affected by heart disease, diabetes, and hormonal imbalances. Reduces potency alcohol, depression. Take the initiative into your own hands and make an appointment with a specialist.
After 30 years of age, men's production of testosterone decreases. In women, on the contrary, the production of hormones increases. And it turns out that a woman often wants intimacy that a man cannot give her.
Help him improve his health. Play sports together, eat right. Together it is easier and beneficial for both. Then just wait, and if he takes the initiative, don’t reject him.
Same scenario every time. Bed, kisses, the same actions. Boring, right? Consistency is good, but not in bed. It will gradually kill the desire for intimacy.
Think, fantasize, act! Buy new underwear, not bedding. Read the Kama Sutra together, do it in the kitchen, in the bathroom, there are many options. Maybe we should go to a sex shop together and choose something interesting.
You know your man better than anyone. Maybe he has fantasies that you were shy about until this moment. You can try it, if you don’t like it, don’t do it.
The first six months of a child’s life are difficult for parents. He develops sleep and wake patterns. Mothers spend 90% of their time with their children. No matter how much dad loves the baby, he also needs care and attention. The woman forgets about this.
It's harder when your child sleeps in the same bed with you. The bed is an intimate place for spouses. Meeting place, and we're talking about not just about sex. And when the baby also takes up this time, the man feels unwanted and rejected.
Here you can understand a woman, she is morally rebuilt, gets used to new role. But we can’t forget about the old one either. You are not only a mother, but also a loving wife. Someone else requires your care.
Involve your husband in childcare. Let him feel needed, and at the same time let him know how hard it is for you. Find time for him, simple signs of attention will improve the situation. Find out how he is doing at work, kiss him for no reason, talk over lunch. A man has the right to your attention just like your child.
In the first months of marriage, you want to please him. You constantly put on makeup, put on dresses, and fly around the house like a fairy. Over the years, everyday life comes, the styling is replaced by disheveled hair, the dress is replaced by a tracksuit or a long T-shirt. He may look at other women.
Look in the mirror, do you like the reflection? If not, take action. Take care of your appearance. Imagine that guests are coming to you. Have you changed your clothes and cleaned yourself up? Now walk like this always, and throw away those shapeless T-shirts or send them to the dacha.
Women may gain weight after giving birth. Explain to your husband that this is temporary, after the birth of the baby, the body will gradually come into shape. She said, go ahead. Home fitness, gym, dancing, in color and taste, as they say.
Love yourself, you must first like yourself. You will see, he will notice and appreciate the changes.
The ardor has died down and does not appear again. Changing your husband is not an option. Over time, if you do not act, it will come in all respects. We need to get the old spark back.
Role-playing games. Housewife, nurse, teacher, that's just the beginning. Fantasy and even you are Cleopatra herself. A man will appreciate your initiative and is unlikely to refuse to “play” with you.
Aphrodisiacs. A couple of drops, and sexual activity will increase, if the husband does not mind. Instead of chemicals, take sour cream, walnuts, seafood, they increase potency.
Spontaneity. There is no one at home, the children are at school. You can spend time together. It is not necessary to pay attention to your husband only in the evening and at night when you are in bed. If possible, take advantage.
Striptease. You're not a dancer, so you don't need to be. Dim lights, slow music, you are beautiful, if you need a couple of glasses of wine for courage, that’s all. If you are still shy, try to practice, learn a couple of movements. If you can’t do it yourself, go and take a couple of lessons. Striptease, oriental, ballroom dancing will make you flexible and flexible.
A change of scenery. Nature, car, hotel room, sauna, lots of places. Take your husband and make your fantasies come true together. Just without exhibitionism, they don’t like it.
Before visiting a psychologist, decide whether you really want to revive the relationship, otherwise it is a waste of the family budget.
Spouses must first understand each other. Something is bothering you - explain to him. He, seeing your frankness, will do the same. Trust is one of the foundations of relationships. Everything else comes from him, including intimacy.
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the superpower to “read” men. It’s like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man and you immediately know everything about him and understand what’s on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any problems in your relationship at all.
And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you can’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate of psychological sciences, and her technique has helped many girls feel loved and receive gifts, attention and care.
If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for visitors to our site.
“Isn’t it better to tiptoe down the hallway to your desired lover than to snore and kick her all night?” - Dr. Stanley asked the scientists who came to the conference. The scientists thought about it.
How was it received?
To be fair, it must be admitted that married couples started sleeping together not so long ago. Also in Victorian era It was not customary for spouses to sleep in the same bed, as in Russia until the revolution. Wives and husbands usually slept separately in peasant houses. In Asia, houses were often and still are divided into male and female halves, in Ancient Rome a joint bed was only a place for love pleasures, and it was customary for spouses to sleep in different places.
The tradition of co-sleeping came to the world along with industrialization and with the movement of the population to cities.
Cramped living conditions do not always allow you to “free up” and put two beds in the apartment. Played a role and social factor- the tradition of sleeping together, established over the 20th century, led to the emergence of a stereotype that if spouses sleep separately, then something is wrong in their marriage. But is it?
Why was the question raised? They started talking seriously about the fact that spouses sleeping together is not the best of blessings modern civilization in 2009. At this year's British Science Festival, which is comparable in popularity to the scientific Oscars, University of Surrey sleep researcher Neil Stanley gave a talk the main thesis of which was that "sleeping with someone" is good only in the sense of "doing sex,” everything else is pathology.
The scientist himself admitted that he has been sleeping with his wife in different beds for many years and wishes everyone the same.
“Sleep is a selfish activity. “You don’t have to share it with anyone,” Stanley concluded. “Isn’t it better to tiptoe down the hallway to your desired lover than to snore and kick her all night?” - Stanley asked the scientists who came to the conference. The scientists thought about it.
According to sociology professor Paul Rosenblatt, author of the book “Two in a Bed. The social system of couples who sleep in the same bed, the bedroom often becomes a “centre of tension”, where arguments and quarrels regularly break out between husband and wife, and sleeping together may not be as harmless a phenomenon as is commonly thought.
So, for example, spouses argue and swear over whether they can allow pets into their bed, or because someone in bed smokes, snores, watches TV, kicks, pulls the blanket towards themselves, rustles newspaper, or does not turn off mobile phone. They also argue about how long to set the alarm clock.
According to the professor, in many cases the problem could be solved simply by moving to different sleeping places. “But people have a stereotype in their heads,” Rosenblatt says. After all, it is believed that it is so natural for spouses to sleep together!”
Opponents of spouses sleeping together really have a lot of arguments. Firstly, the already mentioned snoring is often the reason that spouses do not get enough sleep, become nervous and eventually get divorced. Snoring even reduces libido.
Researchers estimate that one partner's restless behavior robs the other partner of an average of 49 minutes of sleep each night. As a result, a person deprived of proper rest becomes nervous, works poorly, quarrels more often, and reduces sexual activity, which leads to destructive consequences for marriage.
Separate sleep gives spouses the opportunity to get better sleep; it can renew and diversify sexual relations. According to surveys by psychologists, many couples note that since they began sleeping separately, sex has become more interesting to them.
Poor sleep is not the only reason bad mood and decreased vital activity, but also hormonal imbalance, nightly trips to the refrigerator and weight gain. Sleeping separately may change this trend.
Finally, many people simply need personal space, and when they are constantly harassed at night, the blankets are pulled off them and pushed onto the edge, this does not have the best effect on their general condition.
Everything would be fine, but if sleeping separately is so great, why are most married couples still in no hurry to go to different beds and bedrooms?
Firstly, everything is still not so clear with the advantages of separate sleep. Separating spouses into different beds or rooms can lead to a breakdown in mutual understanding and sexual attraction.
Sleeping together is one of the most important manifestations of tenderness, trust and love. As the ancient Georgian proverb says, “Lovers sleep even on the edge of an axe.”
Secondly, sleep in different rooms can be downright dangerous, especially for older couples. One of the spouses may simply become ill, and if no one is nearby, and no one gives medicine or calls an ambulance, the consequences will be very dire.
Finally, there are reasonable concerns that the territorial distance between husband and wife during sleep will sooner or later lead to the idea that without a partner you can not only get a great night's sleep, but also live without him in principle.
Source: What is the best way to sleep? Together or separately © Russian Seven russian7.ru
Sexologists
Sleeping or not sleeping together is a matter of habit, says leading sex therapist in St. Petersburg, Dr. medical sciences Boris Alekseev. - Some spouses cannot be separated in bed; they cannot even fall asleep apart. Human warmth and smells, sometimes perceived subconsciously, are important here. I don’t even rule out erotic moments. But others sleep apart. I see a variety of reasons. Feelings can actually become dull; adults, wanting something new, scatter to different beds.
Often in middle-aged men, the lack of potency is caused by boredom and even memories of past boredom. If a husband and wife always sleep in the same bed, habituation to the body occurs. This has a negative effect on a man’s desire to possess a woman: it dulls and then may disappear completely. Sexual boredom - main reason divorces of forty-year-olds. But such impotence can be cured almost instantly. Sometimes a separate bed is enough. However, not all women are ready to make such sacrifices. Boris Alekseev says that he often hears the following phrase from his patients: “I love lying on a man’s shoulder.” Russian women, indeed, enduring many inconveniences (the snoring alone is worth it!), prefer not to let their husbands leave the marital bed at night. Some wives even say that they cannot sleep peacefully if no one is snoring nearby...
Psychologists
It’s all about mentality, says psychologist Katerina Boychenko. - Russian people are idealists, so relationships are extremely important for us - tenderness, affection. The snoring of a beloved man can sound to a woman better than any music.
“A beloved woman should at least conceal a little mystery,” says psychologist Katerina Boychenko. - Therefore, men resist absolute rapprochement; they always need a distance that preserves the possibility of constant movement towards a loved one. A woman should be an eternal UFO - an unknown beloved object.
Separate bedrooms, according to sexologists, will only improve the intimate life of spouses. In this situation, even the husband’s arrival in his wife’s room will carry obvious sexual overtones.
Source: "MK in St. Petersburg"
Olga Shevtsova, psychologist:
According to scientists, different bedrooms between spouses or at least different beds (if the living space does not allow different bedrooms) definitely strengthen the marriage between people. The explanation for this is very banal. Many representatives of the stronger sex, although some women too, suffer from snoring during sleep. And it’s not always pleasant for your bed partner to listen to these roulades and snoring.
Even for a full and restful sleep, according to scientists, a person definitely needs enough space - it is difficult to get enough sleep and feel rested on 80 centimeters of bed. And if you take into account the bed partner’s habits of pulling the blanket over himself in his sleep, throwing his arms and legs around, choosing uncomfortable positions, then you can forget about healthy and complete rest as a team.
And if we take the aesthetic side of the issue, then in the morning we don’t always look our best, all this will happen after morning washing and light makeup or shaving, so it’s also necessary to protect the nerves and health of your other half. Although there will be supporters of naturalness and will definitely say that if he loves, then let him love anyone or anyone. This is all good and wonderful, naturalness and naturalness, but it is more pleasant to love a washed and combed partner, and not a sleepy creature with disheveled hair and a swollen face after sleep.
Supporters of separate sleeping also emphasize that this very fact greatly enlivens their intimate life, brings a sense of novelty and intrigue, and reminds of the days when everything was just for the first time.
Well, as heavy artillery, supporters of separate sleeping in different beds put forward statistics with their harsh and impartial figures. Out of 100 marriages, seven break up simply because people are uncomfortable and uncomfortable sleeping together.
Sleeping alone is unsafe, especially for older people - the risk of sudden death in sleep or death as a result increases. heart attack, which can occur at night. If there is no one nearby or the partner sleeps in the next bedroom, the person runs the risk of simply not surviving that night and not waking up the next morning.
Separation in a dream supposedly leads to separation in real life. A married couple who does not spend much time during the day, and even sleeps in different beds, is on the verge of breaking up due to lack of mutual attention and love. Hugs in a dream, sleeping on the shoulder of a loved one - this is also a manifestation of the feeling of love, and those who sleep in different beds deprive themselves of this opportunity, stealing their own love. According to psychologists, the formation of distance between partners and unnecessary divisions can lead to a break in the relationship and thoughts that you can not only sleep, but also live without a partner.
There are, of course, cases when a couple sleeps in different beds or in different bedrooms, or simply not together due to different work schedules or other significant circumstances beyond their control.
The opinion of doctors on this issue is clear - a healthy adult, be it a man or a woman, needs about 7-8 hours of sleep and rest per day for a normal, fulfilling life. You need to sleep that much if you want to be healthy and not nervous. In the case when one of the spouses snores, pulls off the blanket, pushes the other to the edge of the bed, or behaves violently in his sleep, the second does not gain these same 7-8 hours of healthy sleep. And so every night. We draw our own conclusions.
Spouses who chronically do not get enough sleep become nervous, perform their duties poorly at work, constantly quarrel and sort things out, and, in the end, stop having sex with each other.
If at least one of the above problem situations occurs in your family, maybe you should try sleeping in different beds? What if it helps?
Recent studies by sex therapists have surprised and stunned at the same time: it turns out that the most ideal and regular love pleasures are found in those couples who sleep separately, in different rooms.
Sleeping together or separately is up to you, but sleeping separately may be just the thing that can revitalize your marriage.
Author: Olga Shevtsova, psychologist
The decision to sleep in different beds Today they accept not only spouses who have lived together for 20-30 years, but also young couples. Each of them has their own reasons to justify this step, but almost all of them try to hide the fact of sleeping separately from their parents, relatives, friends and work colleagues. This behavior of the spouses indicates only one thing: they, like many of us, believe that husband and wife should not sleep separately, since this always indicates that they are no longer united by love, but only by children, joint property or attachment.
Husband And wife- these are two halves. And if one spouse is annoyed by the other who snores, rolls over in his sleep, pulls the blanket over himself or looks ugly, then this is a sign that he is no longer his. It’s not for nothing that they say, love is blind. Weaknesses in behavior and appearance We don’t notice our loved one. The main thing is that your loved one is always nearby. And if a husband and wife sleep in separate beds and occasionally come close to each other to fulfill marital obligations, then they are most likely neighbors or lovers, and not relatives and dear people.
To my beloved person I always want to bring joy and pleasure. A delicious dinner, a gift, attention, care, tenderness and affection. The joint marital bed is the place where lovers show tenderness and love for each other. A man and a woman create a family so as not to feel lonely. They want to be together everywhere and always with their loved one.
Only the one can be called happy marriage, when a husband and wife fall asleep hugging each other every night. The relationship between them automatically improves, even if during the day they were offended by each other and did not speak. After all, it is before going to bed in a common bed that spouses most often discuss all topics, share their impressions and ask for forgiveness, which brings them closer and increases trust in each other. Spending nights together, spouses get to know each other better and become so close that they cannot sleep alone.
When spouses They sleep in different beds, the pleasure of married life disappears. The decision to sleep separately is usually made by spouses not immediately after the wedding, but after serious misunderstandings and disagreements arise between them. An exception to this is for spouses over 50 years of age who, due to insomnia or poor health, have decided to sleep separately so as not to wake them up. loved one and give him the opportunity to sleep. After all, at this age, full sleep is already possible only in complete silence, in the absence of external stimuli.
If husband And wife at a young age they sleep separately, then most often this initiative comes from the woman. Meanwhile, women themselves are convinced that if a husband offers to sleep separately, then he no longer wants his wife or is cheating on her. Based on this, sexologists do not advise young couples to sleep in different beds, unless there are serious reasons for this, which must first be discussed and agreed upon with the spouse. Such reasons may be:
1. Caring for a small child. Most young mothers sleep in the room with the children, while the husband sleeps in a separate bedroom. In this case, the woman wants to give her husband a good night's sleep, because he has to wake up early in the morning and go to work, and she has to wake up all night to feed the baby or change his diaper. A woman with a baby has the opportunity to sleep during the day, but a man at work does not have this opportunity.
2. Sleep disturbance in one of the spouses. IN last years spouses, even if they sleep in the same bed, rarely both go to bed at the same time. Often the wife needs to prepare lunch for the next day, put the children to bed and finish household chores, but the man comes home from work tired, watches TV and falls asleep early. It also happens the other way around: the husband sits late at the computer or watches TV, and the wife has long fallen asleep. As a result, one of the spouses, coming to bed, is always afraid to wake up the one who has already fallen asleep. If you wake him up, he'll be offended! Therefore, the husband or wife decides for himself that it is better to lie down in separate bed and give your spouse the opportunity to get some sleep.
3. Fear of scaring your spouse with your appearance. Many women today are fixated on their appearance; they spend a lot of time in beauty salons, fitness rooms and hairdressers. Some even wear makeup at home and are afraid to appear in front of their husbands natural form. In their opinion, seeing his wife uncombed and without makeup in the morning, the husband may lose interest in her, so it is better to sleep in separate rooms and remain an eternal mystery for the husband.
4. Return of romance. “Sleeping in different beds brings romance back into the relationship. When sleeping together, spouses are together every day and begin to bore each other, and when they sleep separately, they always want to be closer to their partner - this makes the relationship stronger,” some women believe. However, it is difficult to agree with their opinion, because couples who love each other will always find a reason for romance. They cannot sleep separately; they want to feel their soulmate next to them all the time. A separate bed violates their unity, and does not return romance.
What do you think: do a husband and wife love each other if they sleep in different beds?
It so happened that in some nations spouses always sleep in the same bed, while in others it is customary to meet on a bed only for the sake of physical love. These traditions have existed for centuries, and no one has thought about how to sleep better. In recent years, psychologists, doctors, and hygienists are increasingly arguing about whether spouses should sleep in the same bed. Both supporters and opponents of a single bed give very convincing arguments, but each married couple decides for themselves what is best for them. A shared or separate bed is only an indicator of the emotional and physical intimacy of the spouses.
Proponents claim:
A shared bed is an island of safety. In bed, during sleep, a person is most vulnerable, he wants shelter and reliable protection. And together, as they say in the cartoon, being afraid is more fun.
It is impossible to imagine emotionally loved ones sleeping apart, loving friend friend of the spouses. They cannot sleep separately, this violates their unity, and they want to feel their other half nearby every minute.
Complaints that one of the spouses is disturbing the other’s sleep (snoring, kicking, etc.) is not a reason to separate beds, but a consequence of problems that have arisen in the relationship between husband and wife, a manifestation of a weakening emotional connection.
The marital bed is associated not only with sleep, but also with a more pleasant pastime. You can hardly expect that your sex life will be in full swing if, in order to get intimate, you must first get up, walk, wake up your spouse, and explain to him clearly what you want.
The ever-accelerating pace of life does not allow married couples, especially those with children, to allocate time for personal communication. When else to complain about life, discuss the news of the day, joke about colleagues and bosses, if not before going to bed, lying in the same bed.
Scientists have discovered that the smell of pure male sweat stimulates ovulation, which is why it is used to treat female infertility. How can a woman receive such “treatment” if she sleeps with her husband in separate beds?
The feeling of security and psychological support that a woman experiences from her husband sleeping next to her gives her the opportunity to see vivid, colorful dreams.
Opponents object:
Sleeping together has a negative impact on the health of spouses, as arguments constantly arise between them due to the fact that one of them snores, pulls the blanket over himself, gets up in the middle of the night to drink or go to the toilet, coughs, tosses and turns, or does something else. , disturbing someone else's sleep.
If spouses sleep separately, they get better sleep and nothing disturbs their sleep. A person can only fully rest at night, having slept peacefully for 7-9 hours, only in complete silence and in the absence of external stimuli. This is necessary for health.
Spouses should sleep separately from each other, meeting only to perform pleasant marital duties, then sexual attraction will not fade away longer.
Proponents of hygiene believe that in a shared bed there is an increased exchange of microbes, the linen is poorly ventilated, and too much carbon dioxide accumulates in the room from the breath of two people.
If a man sleeps in the same bed with a woman, then in the morning his brain works worse than when he sleeps alone.
Some statistics
There is an opinion that the British are the biggest supporters of separate beds. Scientists from this country are looking for more and more evidence negative consequences a common marital bed and recommend that husband and wife sleep separately. But, despite their advice, most Britons associate sleeping in different beds primarily with the cooling of marital relations. Currently, according to statistics, in Britain only 8% of married couples aged 40-50 spend their nights separately, and these are spouses with experience. Among young couples, this percentage is even lower.
Whether or not to sleep in the same bed is a personal matter for each married couple, and the spouses must decide unanimously on the number of beds. Some couples, according to science, sleep during the week in different rooms, and then spend the weekend in the same bed, believing that in this way they stimulate sexual desire. True, it is not yet a fact that the attraction will intensify and not begin to gradually die off with each week spent in a separate bed.
How do you sleep?
Psychologists have long come to the conclusion that posture during sleep can tell a lot of interesting and important things about people. In a dream, people cannot control their every gesture and body position; they are at the mercy of the subconscious and therefore reveal their true face. At this time, the body and brain are one and express themselves through sign language.
Of course, the marital bed is not the place for psychological tests, but if you concentrate, you will certainly remember in what position you and your husband find it most pleasant to fall asleep. Do you remember? Now find your loved one among those listed and see if she is telling the truth about your family relationships.
Face to face
The face-to-face position with legs and arms intertwined, in which it is uncomfortable to sleep, but comfortable to feel as close as possible to your beloved half, is usually typical for newlyweds. They are ready to endure inconvenience, just not to part. It is difficult for them to be separated even for a moment; they want to be one. Love still burns with a bright flame, the young spouses are so absorbed in each other that they feel a constant need to feel their beloved with their whole bodies.
Happy couples, experiencing another upsurge of feelings from time to time, return to this sleeping position. The relationship in such couples is very strong; he and she are so dependent on each other that they cannot even sleep apart.
"I'll make you a chair"
This is what some spouses call this position; psychologists have another name for it - “folded spoons.”
It is believed that the position when a couple sleeps in an embrace at the back of each other’s head with symmetrically bent legs, as if one is sitting on a chair made from the other’s legs, is the most common in the first three to five years of marriage. If you have passed this milestone and are still sleeping in this position, it means that your union is close to ideal, you have retained the most tender feelings for each other. According to psychologists, the one who “makes the chair” plays the main violin in the family. Where spouses are equal partners, they take turns hugging each other.
People sleeping in this position are as close to each other as possible, both physically and psychologically.
Loosely tied
Over time, the novelty of feelings in marriage is lost, but mutual understanding, warm relationships and mutual interest remain. Crazy passion develops into calm, even love. Spouses allow themselves and give the other half more freedom, so they can sleep even with their backs turned to each other. But at the same time they must touch either their arms, or their backs, or their legs, or their buttocks. This position makes it possible to balance the need for a comfortable sleeping position and at the same time for emotional intimacy. This position of the bodies can be called more gentle than sexual.
Guardian angel
Often there is a position when the husband lies on his back, enclosing his wife in a cocoon of embrace, like a guardian angel, and she, curled up comfortably, presses her cheek to his chest. They can see each other and talk, and his hand protects her. Psychologists believe that emotionally very close, united people who feel tenderness for each other sleep this way.
On your favorite shoulder
In families where the husband is the prominent head of the family, and the wife is obedient, dependent and prefers to live “for stone wall”, often sleep in a position that is otherwise called “tiled”. The husband sleeps on his back, and the wife rests her head on his shoulder. This position gives the woman a feeling of peace and protection, and allows the man to express his sense of ownership. This is how spouses who are very attached to each other sleep.
Pursuit of a fugitive
The pose when one of the spouses turns away and moves to his side of the bed, and the second tries to hug him and bring him closer to himself (bring back the fugitive), can be interpreted in two ways. But both interpretations indicate the presence of problems in the relationship between spouses. This posture may be evidence of a quarrel or disagreement. Or maybe it is a signal that the spouse who has turned away does not have enough attention, and he seems to provoke the second one to “pursue”, invites him to take the initiative and become closer.
Uncertainty
There is a position when one (usually a man) lies on his stomach, turned away, and, positioned diagonally, takes up almost all the space on the bed, while the second, curled up into a ball, huddles on the very edge. According to psychologists, this position is more typical for lovers, when a man and a woman are bedmates, rather than a couple. Maybe they are not confident in their relationship, maybe they have not yet adjusted to each other #8230;
But if spouses sleep like this, this position indicates that not everything is in order in their relationship.
Partners
Each spouse sleeps on their back; they can touch each other only by accident. They are more partners than a family; each of them is confident that he knows and can do everything. Psychologists assure that the relationship in such a couple is unlikely to last long.
I'll lie down next to you
The position when one of the spouses lies on his back (this can be either the husband or the wife), freely stretched out, and the second next to him on his side, curled up, is evidence of great contradictions in the family. IN Everyday life a spouse sleeping on his back is most likely tyrannizing his half, or even treating her rudely and boorishly.
Back to back
If spouses fall asleep after a quarrel, turning away and moving away from each other, this is natural. But if this happens every night, then there is serious misunderstanding, emotional distance and internal tension between them. In the dream they were almost separated.
Most people associate a happy and strong marriage with the same bed, in which, hugging each other tightly, they fall asleep loving husband and wife. However, sleep experts have concluded that this opinion is wrong. Many family psychologists agree that those marriages in which husband and wife sleep in separate rooms are stronger and more durable.
Different bedrooms are usually evidence of a crisis in a relationship, but this is rather the exception to the rule. Research data on this issue showed that many couples were planning a common marital bed, but for some reason they were forced to abandon this idea. The reasons that spouses sleep in different rooms are the following: snoring of one of the spouses, kicking in their sleep, nightmares that one of the spouses suffers from, as well as other oddities of the spouse’s nighttime behavior. Additionally, common reasons for separate bedrooms are different work schedules, room temperature, as well as rekindling romantic passion. However, such a decision must be made with special sensitivity.
Many doctors claim that a person can only get a good rest at night in complete silence and in the absence of external stimuli. An adult needs seven to nine hours of sleep per night to maintain normal health. The need for proper rest is not the only reason why spouses need to sleep in separate beds. Scientists have now found that a man who sleeps with a woman in the same bed has a deteriorating potency. Constant co-sleeping leads to dulling of men's libido and gradual loss of eroticism. Therefore, many married couples, in order to overcome boredom and revive the former passion in the relationship, prefer to sleep separately.
Sleeping together or in separate beds is a matter of habit. Some spouses simply cannot sleep apart because their human body, smells, some intimate moments perceived by people subconsciously. Therefore, many women are simply not ready to take such a step, preferring not to let their husbands go anywhere at night beyond the marital bed. However, it happens that the man himself is the initiator of different bedrooms, because he is afraid of absolute rapprochement with his soulmate, he believes that a woman should conceal some kind of mystery, not be fully known. And the sight of your wife, day after day, not combed early in the morning, with a swollen, unmade-up face, can lead to monotony in the relationship, the so-called “eating.”
It is permissible for spouses to sleep in different beds only if everything is agreed upon in advance, since such a situation alienates the partners from each other and can lead to a break in the relationship. And if the motives and rules are agreed upon initially, then such a decision can, according to sexologists, improve the intimate life of the spouses.
However, not all married couples can afford to have different bedrooms, but only financially well-off people. What about the rest of us who can't afford it? In such situations, experts recommend following some tips when sleeping together:
