An inferiority complex is a state when a person acutely experiences his own uselessness, it seems to him that he is defective, and everyone understands this perfectly well. It’s like a stale product that no one needs and lies on the shelf because it’s a shame to throw it away. An inferiority complex is very often the cause of neuroses. A person’s self-esteem is a kind of indicator of mental comfort. When self-esteem is greatly underestimated, an inferiority complex arises.
This condition is the result of a set of ideas with a negative connotation about one’s inferiority in physical and mental terms, in comparison with others. The formation of the complex is based on childhood, and have a significant impact wrong methods education, when parental attitudes are erroneous and bring a lot of failures. The process is finally formed when the child reaches adolescence and becomes a form of behavior.
But what does complex mean? Psychologists mean by this a whole range of a person’s ideas about himself. They are associated with specific associations and emotions that are united by a single affect.
How does an inferiority complex manifest itself?
In order to somehow compensate for his inferiority, a person tries to excel over other people, and tries to focus his actions on those moments that prove his superiority over others. If you analyze the actions of such people, it becomes obvious that they are very insecure, have excessive vulnerability and a feeling of anxiety. Individuals with an inferiority complex tend to notice mocking jokes and ridicule directed at themselves, but in reality there is nothing of the kind. They show excessive suspiciousness and touchiness for any reason.
If we consider the cause of the inferiority complex in more detail, then the main emotion on which the complex is based can be considered fear. This feeling is dominant in human life. For example, a hungry baby thinks that he will die of hunger, and he is driven by fear. So he screams and cries, trying to get attention.
Later, when the child grows up, there are many situations in his life when he finds himself defenseless, disappointment arises in own strength Oh. Therefore, he develops an idea of himself as an inferior person. If, in addition to all this, there is appropriate parental upbringing, then ultimately the inferiority complex becomes integral part his behavior, and in adult life constantly haunts a person.
Is it possible to get rid of an inferiority complex?
Feature of this mental disorder is that an inferiority complex can be found in many people. But, of course, it manifests itself differently in each case, and has its own special reasons. However, there is one way that can help change the situation for the better. Need to take the feeling own inferiority as an indicator that something needs to be fixed. It’s quite obvious that you just need to work on your own appearance. A person must learn to treat himself with respect, celebrate existing successes and positive changes. Psychologists say that every person can have a white or black life streak. Therefore, everyone has uncertainty and fear for the situation, and this is completely normal. You just need to learn how to correctly use your feelings of inferiority, and try to change for the better in a timely manner what is especially troubling.
The concept of an inferiority complex stems from psychology. It is often used in everyday speech to refer to depressed people with low self-esteem. Everyday and scientific concepts intertwined, so in some ways they are similar, but there are also some differences between them. The first to describe this psychological phenomenon was
Despite the fact that in Everyday life the word “complex” in relation to a person has a very negative connotation; in psychology everything is somewhat different. This term refers to a set of attitudes, mechanisms and sensations that are formed around one specific affect. They influence life and personal development.
Basically, these processes take place at the subconscious level, even if they were formed at the conscious level. When a certain object (thought) is in the zone of consciousness, we can control and manipulate it. If this something goes into the subconscious zone, then it begins to control us. Therefore, complexes influence our lives without our consent. Affect in in this case called an emotion or emotional process.
Unlike talents and abilities that are given to us from birth, an inferiority complex is an acquired thing. As a rule, the reason or environment for its acquisition is society. Do not forget that a family is also a society.
Most often, the whole bunch of negative self-destructive attitudes are born after the thoughtless words of parents or peers. It is worth adding that for a normally developing, thinking child, the words of an adult are the constitution. Until the age of 10-11, children are guided by their elders, then by their peers.
One word from a mother - “sloppy”, “ugly” or “stupid” - said to her child is equivalent to the cry of a crowd.
A word attached to a person is a seed that may not germinate for several years, but sits tightly in the subconscious. At the slightest favorable conditions it will make itself known. And that's just one word.
What to say about those cases when such statements are part of everyday communication. If you call a person a pig a hundred times, on the hundred and first he will grunt. The inferiority complex in men, as well as in women, is formed from childhood.
Our entire existence is driven by our desires. In newborns they are simpler and more primitive. The older a child gets, the more complex his desires and needs become.
Wants provoke certain emotions that activate our body and give us the strength to fulfill them. Initially, for any creature, personal desires are a priority. And while they move a person, he is controlled by them more than by everything else.
A child who has clearly defined needs is more likely to listen to them than to the advice of adults. At this moment, parents lose control over their child. In order not to bother themselves with thinking about why this happened, they simply pull the rug out from under their feet with one phrase: “Oh, what are you bad boy(girl)".
Sometimes this is formulated through the hint that your desires are worthless, they are irrelevant, too expensive, stupid, wrong.
Think about what the following phrases can lead to: “your hands are from the same place”, “you’re worthless”, “it would be better if I didn’t give birth to you”, “only a stupid person can do that”, etc.
It cannot be said that all children’s whims should be fulfilled without complaint by parents, adults or peers. This also provokes personalities. But if you respond to every “I want” with a sharp refusal, complete with reproaches, screams, condemnation or classic ignoring, this will lead to the person growing up, but the personality in him will not, because the core that feeds on the desires and ambitions of the individual, initially broken.
It cannot be said that such a person has no future or hope for “healing.” We’ll talk about what exactly can change the mechanisms and settings below.
Devaluation of the desires and needs of the individual leads to low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. If a person’s desires are equated to zero, then he feels like a nobody.
Signs of an inferiority complex can be either pronounced or latent (hidden).
Sometimes one glance at a person is enough to understand whether he is satisfied with life or not. may be as follows: a person slouches, tilts his head all the time, speaks slurred, stutters when speaking, crosses his arms over his chest all the time, etc.
But sometimes an inferiority complex is hidden behind a bright mask of liberation, brilliance and gloss.
This problem can manifest itself in two ways. On the one hand, there is a fear of people, especially strangers, and on the other, a constant search for new acquaintances.
Since people with an inferiority complex feel worse than others, they need regular approval of their actions from others. This is easier to achieve from people you don’t know well.
Feelings of worthlessness may be accompanied by constant talking about one's imperfections or obsessive bragging. It depends on what compensation mechanism a person chooses.
An example of an inferiority complex can be a whole wardrobe of things from fashionable world brands, expensive cars or other deliberate status symbols, or a retreat into marginality. The latter is manifested by integration into a subculture, actions contrary to society.
People with this complex regularly have a self-condemnation program. Going into marginality provides an opportunity to cling to a less successful society, in which you can begin to condemn everyone else and thus assert yourself.
Departure into various deviations (both positive and negative) can also be considered a sign of an inferiority complex. Drug addiction, alcoholism and smoking are a desire to join society and not be a black sheep.
How to get rid of an inferiority complex? Unfortunately, from this psychological illness It is impossible to be cured completely, since there is always a risk that self-flagellation mechanisms are activated when encountering an irritant. But you can muffle it, compensate or get rid of the cause.
Compensation brings only temporary satisfaction or no satisfaction at all. All actions are performed for the public, and not for oneself. The person still considers himself worse than others. At the same time, he does everything so that those around him do not suspect it, wastes his energy and receives only momentary joy.
An inferiority complex in women, like men, is accompanied by self-flagellation and an inability to listen to one’s personal desires. This can be compared to a tasteless salad that you buy because its photo looks beautiful on Instagram.
“I want to lose weight so that I can feel more at ease” and “I want to lose weight so that I won’t be considered fat” are completely different things. In the first case you fulfill your desires, and in the other - society. In the same way, “I want to drive quickly and comfortably” and “I want a Mercedes” are two different topics. The first is self-satisfaction, the second is working for status.
Humiliation of others can also be considered compensation. Often people with an inferiority complex, in order to feel normal, do their best to look for flaws in others. Usually the range of searches is limited to those traits and characteristics that these people themselves possess. So, a stupid person will look for narrow-mindedness, an absent-minded person will look for absent-mindedness, a bow-legged person will look for bow-leggedness, a sloppy person will look for sloppiness, etc. And whoever looks for it always finds. By emphasizing this flaw in another, a person temporarily feels complete.
You can get rid of an inferiority complex by coping with a personal (internal) reason or changing your attitude towards it.
If you feel worthless after you didn’t talk about the Pythagorean Theorem, all you need to do is learn it. If this is due to a long nose, then correcting the situation is much more difficult.
All external flaws that people look for in themselves can be corrected. In extreme cases, plastic surgery will help. Therefore, there is no need to torment yourself by savoring the mistakes nature made when creating your image.
Sometimes, to get rid of an inferiority complex, it is enough to change the environment or society. If it arose in a circle of certain people (be it family, classmates, friends or colleagues), then in this environment it will either doze or seethe, but will not disappear.
You need to make a huge effort to change yourself and change your attitude towards yourself at the same time. This is why many people get rid of their inferiority complex by leaving their family or changing their place of residence.
You need to remove yourself for some time from the sight of those people who provoke the development of complexes in you, and at the same time change yourself. This disrupts the usual mechanisms that operate in response to a stimulus.
However, returning to often again triggers the hated mechanisms.
This strategy is chosen by strong-willed people. If I didn’t know math well at school, I’ll go to study to become a math teacher (“I’ll prove to everyone that I know this subject”). You can give many examples of compensation: “I moved poorly - I’ll become a dancer,” “I was afraid to leave my mother - I’ll become a traveler.” It’s not life, but complete compensation for such people, but passion helps get rid of the cause of the inferiority complex. Such people often become highly qualified specialists.
As a rule, people with an inferiority complex are accustomed to lying or fantasizing. These may be trifles that do not bring any benefit, but are aimed at hiding one’s low self-esteem. There are a lot of examples of such petty lies: a girl who touches up her appearance in Photoshop, a guy who tells how he drove “his” car.
At the same time, these people are very honest in global issues. If you are experiencing these symptoms, getting rid of them may be the key to solving the problem.
An inferiority complex is understood as a negative attitude towards oneself as a person, one’s actions and thoughts, an obsessive feeling of guilt and self-deprecation. A person suffering from an inferiority complex has low self-esteem and unjustifiably considers his existence to be flawed and meaningless. Often, general psycho-emotional dissatisfaction with oneself is accompanied by neuroses, depression and suicidal tendencies.
Every year thousands of people turn to psychotherapists with complaints about their own insignificance. Many people try to overcome persistent negativism towards themselves on their own by studying scientific literature, however, in order to get rid of this problem, you need to know the underlying cause and objective ways to get rid of it. Inferiority complex in equally suffer like men, but the ways of experiencing their own inferiority differ somewhat by gender.
First this state was studied by the representative of the psychoanalytic approach, Alfred Adler. He argued that a person constantly compensates for his inferiority, trying to prove to others that he is better and can achieve a lot. Often dissatisfaction with oneself outwardly manifests itself in the form of a superiority complex, demonstration of one’s capabilities and self-praise. These two opposite manifestations are complementary, for example, a depressed person with low self-esteem and high level anxiety requires increased attention and excessive care from loved ones. In this case, one can see inferiority that develops into strength - the patient is weak, but dictates his own rules to everyone, which are followed unquestioningly.
An inferiority complex is not a psychopathological deviation; this condition is experienced by everyone, stimulating and pushing a person to achieve goals and self-actualization. Only when negativism and dissatisfaction with oneself negates performance and positive activity, and slows down personal development, does it make sense to talk about an inferiority complex as a pathology.
Let's consider the main reasons for the inferiority complex:
Physiological deficiencies are, of course, one of the most common causes of an inferiority complex. Men with physiological defects try to replace them with intense training. For example, in the film “The King’s Speech,” the heir to the throne’s ardent desire to compensate for his speech defect is clearly evident, resorting to the help of many speech therapists. Among one of common reasons Male inferiority complex may be a defect in the genital organ. Intimate failures and criticism from a sexual partner can lead to young man to neurosis. As a rule, such men senselessly withdraw into themselves, stop communicating with the opposite sex, mistakenly believing that with such a physiological defect, sexual life is in principle impossible.
Discrimination is one of the common causes of depression and dissatisfaction with oneself. A socially irrational attitude towards a person based on their distinctive characteristics can drive a person into prolonged depression and even lead to suicide. Men with gay suffer from an inferiority complex much more often than women. Homosexuals compensate for their infantilism with egocentrism and demonstrative behavior; numerous Western gay pride parades can be an example.
Overprotection in family upbringing can also influence the development of an inferiority complex. If parents completely surround the child with care, this is wonderful, however, when the manifestation of love excessively and completely absorbs the child’s personality, not allowing him to take independent steps, this leads to sad consequences. In adult life, a person faces various problems that require him to take a balanced, deliberate action. A person with a predominant overprotective style in family upbringing in the future cannot make decisions on his own and achieve his goals, since in childhood his parents decided everything for him. The cause of an inferiority complex in men is the excessive love of a mother for her son.
Psycho-emotional trauma, often experienced in childhood or adolescence, can leave an indelible mark on a person’s state of mind. Teenage angularity, skin rashes, poor grades at school, and the financial insolvency of parents can become the subject of ridicule and cause an inferiority complex in the future. Guys often have complexes due to sports failures, unattractiveness, and inability to stand up for themselves.
Lack of parental care and attention, especially maternal love, affects self-esteem and personal development. A man whose mother did not support or approve of his achievements in childhood is unlikely to strive for success and self-actualization in the future. The lack of fatherly love can lead to the development of egocentrism, non-traditional sexual orientation, or even gender reassignment. Constant criticism from parents about the worthlessness and insignificance of their son in most cases leads to the development of an inferiority complex.
During periods of economic decline and mass unemployment, the number of men with an inferiority complex increases. In general, for men, financial well-being is a manifestation of masculinity and personal wealth. Historically, a man is a breadwinner and his need for a decent monetary income is higher than that of a woman. If this need is not satisfied for a long time, it makes sense to talk about an inferiority complex.
In order to determine the presence of an inferiority complex, you need to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. In an individual conversation, the specialist will ask several questions and listen to the client’s complaints, which can easily be used to determine low self-esteem and complexities. To diagnose an inferiority complex, psychologists use a special questionnaire presented in the psychodiagnostic textbook N. P. Fetiskina. The technique consists of 30 questions; if the subject scored less than 40 points, it makes sense to talk about an inferiority complex as a diagnosis that requires psychodiagnostic correction.
Fertile ground for the development of an inferiority complex in men is the following features character:
The psychotherapist, in an individual conversation, finds the underlying cause of dissatisfaction with oneself and tells the client how to deal with the inferiority complex. The main goal of psychotherapy is to transform complexities into a creative force, directing a person to useful activities and achieving goals. Let's consider a few psychotherapeutic tips for getting rid of an inferiority complex:
What makes you feel like an inferior person? Childhood trauma or your own appearance? Maybe you feel constant uncertainty and sit peacefully on the sidelines while others enjoy triumph? To find the right solution, you need to identify the main symptoms of an inferiority complex. So let's get started.
Before identifying the signs, it is important to understand that self-doubt does not characterize this disorder. Yes, this is one of the components, but the complex includes several psychological aspects, which work together. Eliminate one symptom, and then others will begin to disappear.
In most cases, complex people have ambivalent attitudes towards words of praise. They look for a catch in everything, as a result of which they lose trust in their opponent. Behavior is caused by the fact that a person considers himself unworthy kind words, even in those moments when he really deserves them. Some believe that behind the compliment there is a malicious grin, others claim that the speaker is lying, and others even think that they are simply being flattered.
A person suffering from an inferiority complex is much more worried about insults and bad experience. As a rule, the defensive reaction manifests itself in a rude form, as a result of which such people seem to be angry and unpleasant interlocutors.
People experiencing an inferiority complex are afraid of appearing funny. They withdraw and sit on the sidelines, being alone with themselves. Don't be like them, you don't need to be a hermit.
The most common and compelling reason for the development of complexes. A person who is unsure of his personal potential is definitely doomed to failure. Do you think that Fedka from work does an excellent job, but Anka’s car is more expensive? Perhaps, but that doesn't mean they're better than you. Each has their own strengths, one is strong in mathematics, the other is a philologist to the core.
Stop constantly analyzing your own actions, don’t look for flaws in your appearance and don’t look back. Such behavior perfectly characterizes a complex person.
Complex people take criticism personally, which creates a feeling of inferiority. After the words spoken by the opponent, the person sits and eats himself from the inside.
Do you feel like an inferior person? Communicate more with positive people, do not isolate yourself from others, allow yourself to live happily. React adequately to compliments, focus only on constructive criticism. Stop looking for flaws in your appearance, demeanor and character, relax. Believe in yourself!
A feeling of inferiority (inferiority complex) as a personality quality is a tendency to show a heightened exaggerated experience of one’s own weakness, inferiority and imperfection, and to irrationally believe in the superiority of others over oneself.
Remember: you are needed! No one is superior and no one is inferior, no one is superior and no one is inferior. Everyone is in the right place. A samurai, a very arrogant warrior, once came to a Zen Master. The samurai was very noble, but, looking at the Master, seeing the beauty of the Master, the beauty of the moment, he suddenly felt somehow insignificant. He said to the Master: - Why do I feel my insignificance? A moment ago everything was fine. As soon as I entered your courtyard, I fell. Never felt this way before. I have faced death many times and never felt fear. Why am I scared now? The master said: - Wait. I'll answer when everyone has left. People came to visit the Master all day, and the samurai got tired of waiting. In the evening, when the room was empty, the samurai asked: “Can you answer me now?” - Come out. It was a full moon and the moon was rising above the horizon. The master said: “Look at these trees, this one, tall to the sky, and this one, small, next to it.” They have both been growing in front of my window for many years, but they have no problems. This small tree never says to the big one: “Why do I feel humiliated in front of you?” This tree is small, and this one is so big, why have I never heard them murmur? The samurai thought about it and answered: “Because they cannot compare.” - See, you don't need to ask me. You know the answer yourself. When you don't compare, all insignificance and all greatness disappears. You are, you are just here. small bush or a big tree- doesn't matter. You are yourself. A leaf of grass is as necessary as the greatest star. This voice of the cuckoo is as great as any Buddha: the world would be less rich if the cuckoo disappeared. Look around. Everything is necessary, and everyone is good together. This is an organic unity, no one is higher and no one is lower, no one is more important, no one is insignificant. All are incomparably unique and necessary. This is the religion of awareness.
Superiority and inferiority are flip sides of each other. Bright dual pair. Psychologists define an inferiority complex as a combination of psychological and emotional sensations a person, expressed in a sense of his own inferiority and an irrational belief in the superiority of others over himself. An inferiority complex arises due to various reasons, such as: discrimination, mental trauma, one’s own mistakes and failures, etc. An inferiority complex significantly affects a person’s well-being and behavior. It comes from childhood. Comparing oneself with more physically developed peers, calling them names, beating and bullying on their part could form an inferiority complex. Adults have their own problems: excess weight, appearance, low social status, etc.
People with feelings of inferiority can be recognized by the words of the song: “No matter what they do, things don’t work out...”. Failures follow one another: the coconut does not grow, there is no money, your beloved leaves you, your own children are rude. Cherishing their inferiority, they compare themselves with others (naturally, richer, healthier and more successful), and then experience their inferiority. An idealization with a minus sign is formed when compared with a feeling of superiority. People with an inferiority complex need to understand and accept the truth: no one is given the ability to see a complete objective picture of the world. If you tell a child that this color is red, while pointing to green, he will remember and be convinced that green is red. You, like a child, may have false, distorted ideas about the world and yourself. We all live in the kingdom of distorting mirrors. In your distorted view, you are an ugly, bow-legged, darkly embittered type who no one likes, including you. There is a pronounced inferiority complex on his face. You are convinced that the whole world sees you this way. You feel ashamed of yourself in front of the world. It seems to you that people look at you with pity and condemnation. The girls walked by and laughed sarcastically. They whispered something in each other's ears and burst out laughing again. You thought: “Look, what kind of freak got into our garden?” In fact, girls are interested in how you react to them. And they laugh to somehow attract your attention.
Sudha Chadhran, a modern Indian classical dancer, stopped dancing at the height of her career because doctors were forced to amputate her right leg. After she was given a prosthesis, she returned to dancing, and again became the best among the dancers. When asked how she managed it, she simply answered: “You don’t need legs to dance!”
In general, do not delude yourself that someone thinks about you. Everyone has their own concerns. Everyone thinks about their own person. Are you very concerned about the appearance of others and acquaintances? Some husbands don't recognize their wives on the street. It turns out that you have inserted lenses that present the world in a dark light. This is, of course, an allegory. In fact, you see yourself and the outside world through the prism of the beliefs recorded in your subconscious. And they may be far from true. So it turns out that “life is a deception with enchanting melancholy. That’s why she is so strong, That with her rough hand she writes fatal letters.” Everything you have imagined for yourself is an illusion and deception. The only trouble is that such thoughts about yourself will form an image corresponding to them. You, as a talented actor, will play a bow-legged, darkly embittered type. What do you want? What's inside is also outside. By the way, you the world you will see “bow-legged” in gloomy and embittered tones and you will attribute to him what is characteristic of you.
If you are uncomfortable with your own inferiority or sense of superiority, you will unconsciously project these qualities onto others. I have no desire to bombard my soul. It is easier to find a scapegoat and label him as inferior or superior. Therefore, when you notice that you are being accused of qualities that you definitely do not have, be wary and take a closer look at the accuser. Surely, just as you project “bow-leggedness” onto the world, he puts together a picture of the world from the puzzles of his inferiority or superiority complex. People themselves, covered with many ulcers, look out for other people's blisters.
I was somehow lucky enough to hear an interesting story. Father needed something to do little son, but there were no toys at hand. He took the old one political map peace, tore it into pieces and told his son: “Put it back.” A couple of minutes passed, and the son presented the initial version of the map. The amazed father asked: “How did you do it?” The kid replied: “On the back of the card there was a portrait of a person. I thought that if the person is okay, then everything will be okay with the world.” A wise remark, isn't it?
What are our illusions about ourselves and the world based on? Maybe you attach excessive significance and importance to your appearance? Maybe those around you don’t see it at all. It's not interesting or important to them. Take away your sense of self-importance and you will become invulnerable. The Eskimos use more than eighty words for the word "snow". Snow is so important to them that they come up with dozens of names for it. Appearance is as important to you as snow is to Eskimos. Importance is the shield of the weak. Be careful that life doesn't consider you so important that it won't come for a visit.
The game of our subconscious viral programs is not at all harmless. Our false ideas about ourselves and the world produce real confirmation of this. You don’t like your own weight – obesity is on the rise; you are oppressed by indecision and shyness - an inferiority complex grows like bamboo. Your crime is only in your head, but the punishment is here. Please, you will receive it as you ordered.
Until you eliminate the excessive significance and importance of something for yourself, it will constantly overtake you and grow. Live in a country of “it doesn’t matter.” Eliminating significance is even more important to you than forgiveness. We can forgive offense, anger, aggression, hatred, revenge. But in order to forgive, you must first be offended, that is, give it significance. If this is not significant for you, then there is no need to be offended. Live in such a way that you don't need to forgive. Where there is no significance, there is no resentment or anger.
Your task is not to fight your shortcomings in any way (this will strengthen them even more), but to establish in your subconscious new positive beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Ignore your shortcomings. There are no people without shortcomings. Focus on the strengths you have and want to have. Everything remains the same. Only the azimuth of your attention has changed. You are now focusing on your strengths. If you want to become slim and determined, imagine yourself in a freeze frame or clip in the appropriate form. It all depends on how you imagine a determined person. Typically, a decisive person is characterized by open emotional speech without hints or softened statements. He doesn't whisper or mumble. He boldly expresses his opinion, without looking back at how his opponents will perceive him. He speaks specifically and definitely. In his speech the words “I”, “me”, “mine” are constantly heard, that is, he takes responsibility. A decisive person does not underestimate his own capabilities, his knowledge and personal qualities, and is able to improvise.
So, you have created an image of a slender and determined person in a still frame or in a video clip. Fill the still frame or clip with your feelings and emotions. With each mental review, detail them. Periodic viewing is not stupid looking at an imaginary image. You will involuntarily be attracted to the image by your behavior. You will get used to the role of a decisive person. Over time, the role and your present will merge into complete correspondence. When you look at your actual photos and compare them to a still image or a clip, you won't find any differences. Just remember the gradual process of metamorphosis. If, when you step on the scale, you see the inscription “get off alone,” you don’t need to immediately paint yourself an ideal picture in which you are 50 kilograms younger. Everything in moderation and gradually. To get rid of an inferiority complex, you need, first of all, to stop comparing yourself with more successful, healthy and rich people, and then become despondent. You need to live in the “here and now” mode without devaluing everything you have. Set positive goals for yourself. Replace the old negative attitudes of your subconscious with new, life-affirming ones. Hunt for joy in your world.
Another tip: don’t worry about your importance and you will have it. All people are busy every day proving their importance and significance. Everyone does this in their own ways, techniques and methods. The desire to demonstrate your positive traits, strengthening your importance is stupid vanity. If you consciously refuse to cast your importance, your loved ones and acquaintances will understand with a sixth sense that your authority does not need confirmation. You will feel the respect and sympathy of others. As a result, you yourself will be filled with the conviction that you are a worthy person. You will have a similar state with A. Pushkin when he completed work on “Boris Godunov”. In a letter to Vyazemsky, he wrote: “My tragedy is over; I reread it out loud, alone, and clapped my hands and shouted, oh yes Pushkin! Hey son of a bitch! As a result, your self-esteem will increase, and your inferiority complex will tell you to live a long time.
Petr Kovalev 2013