In the year after the death of a person, it is believed that the soul of the deceased has already found peace. For the year that has passed since the death of a person, it is believed that his soul has reunited with the souls of his ancestors, and now you can commemorate all the dead. According to Christian customs, there are special parent days(radonitsa) when all the dead are commemorated.
Important!!!
On the day when a year has passed since the death of a person, Relatives and relatives visit the grave of the deceased in the morning and order a funeral service in the church.
According to Christian customs, only fresh flowers and wreaths from them are placed on the grave. The tradition of decorating the grave with fresh flowers dates back to the ancient Romans, who brought bouquets of fresh flowers to the graves of their ancestors in May. In Russia in 1889, the Synod of the Orthodox Church forbade the use of wreaths and inscriptions on them at funerals held according to Christian customs. The ban was explained by the fact that all these flowers-wreaths distract believers from the main occupation at the funeral - prayers for the salvation of the soul of the deceased. The ban has outlived itself to this day. Today, fresh flowers and wreaths are traditionally placed on the grave, believing that a person, like a flower, never dies without a trace and that he is granted resurrection and eternal life, since the human soul is immortal.
By the anniversary, a monument is usually erected on the grave with a brief epitaph for the deceased. After a prayer service is served in the church, relatives go to the cemetery, where they decorate the grave with flowers and burn memorial candles. All those present are invited to a memorial dinner, which can be organized at home or in a cafe.
What is the difference between a commemoration on the anniversary of death from a commemoration immediately after the funeral?
The difference is that a monument is erected on the grave by the anniversary and it is believed that the soul of the deceased has already found peace.
The meaning of the commemoration
The memorial dinner menu traditionally includes kutia, pancakes and eggs. Of the remaining dishes, the most familiar and those that the deceased loved are served. Do not overload the table with frills in the form of caviar and huge cakes. From alcohol they drink, without clinking glasses, only one glass of vodka for a mention of the soul. Wine and other alcoholic drinks are not served.
Once in the life of every person, there comes a time when one of the acquaintances, relatives or relatives goes to the deceased forefathers. The remains of a deceased person are most often buried in the ground, where they will be in the future. However, love for the deceased does not dry out, therefore, on certain days, a commemoration is held for the deceased. In order to avoid unwanted mistakes, it is very important to know how to commemorate the dead, on what days it is done and, of course, how the commemoration takes place.
There are three main periods for commemoration after the death of a person.. The first time prayers take place on the third day, the second time they are commemorated on the ninth day, and for the third time they pray for the deceased at the onset of the fortieth day. The countdown is from the day of death of a person, and not from the day of burial. Wake in set days are a sacred custom that has been preserved since ancient times.
Wake, like any other custom, has its own rules established over the years. They must certainly be observed so as not to inadvertently disturb and offend the soul of the deceased. But before you find out what rules for commemorating the dead exist, you should learn about the erroneous actions that many people do at a funeral. Common mistakes can be related to items such as:
So, how to commemorate deceased relatives.
As mentioned earlier, there are three special periods when a commemoration is held, not counting the day of the funeral:
After forty days, the deceased is considered to be ever-memorable, that is, the one who needs to be ever remembered, where "ever" means "always." About your deceased relative or close person should not be forgotten after death.
During life, love can be shown to your loved ones by hugging them and kissing them.. But if a person goes to another world, then you can show your feelings for him only with the help of a memorial service. They are held in the church, as a rule, immediately after the end of the morning service. How much the memorial service will cost, you can find out directly when visiting the temple.
To hold a memorial service, you need to buy bread or something from pastries, but in no case should it be sweet, and you can also buy fruit. These products are considered basic, but other types can be added, depending on financial capabilities. As a rule, on this day it is customary to carry flour, various cereals and vegetable oil. In no case should you take alcohol and sweets with you.
A note with the names of all deceased relatives, written in advance, is added to the products. The form for correct filling can be taken directly from the church. Everything prepared for the memorial service is placed on a special table. During the memorial service, the presence of someone who calls out to the saints with a prayer is desirable. Total duration sacred action is about fifteen minutes. Believers say that at this time the soul stands next to its relative and prays for him in the same way as he does.
There are memorial services that are especially significant for the dead souls, their effect is 10 times stronger than a regular service. They pass on a special day of remembrance of the dead, which falls on parental and memorial Saturdays. You can find out when they happen and how many there are in a year in the church itself or in a special church calendar, where it is customary to mark them with a black cross. As a rule, most of them fall on the period of Lent.
The soul of a deceased person is waiting for a relative in the temple and rejoices if he comes. Otherwise, she is very sad and feels empty. The day before, on Friday evening, parastas copes in the name of the deceased.
In addition to Saturdays, the commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy takes place on Radonitsa, which follows on the ninth day after the celebration of Easter. It is at this time that the souls are waiting for their relatives near the graves or in the church, sometimes they come to the apartment where they lived until death. On this day, it is necessary to remember them intensely, as well as order a memorial service and give alms to those in need. If the birthday of the deceased falls on Radonitsa, then there is nothing wrong with arranging a commemoration. There are no prohibitions for the memory of loved ones who left the mortal earth.
Do not forget about your loved ones who have gone to God. The commemoration of the dead, according to the charter of the Orthodox Church, takes place six months after the date of death, and even a year later. The anniversary of death is considered the second birth of the soul and new life in Heavenly Kingdom. Special attention you need to pay commemoration before Trinity Saturday; when the next commemoration of the deceased is made, a candle is placed in the church for the repose of the soul in the place reserved for the deceased in one of the hollow candlesticks, and a memorial service is also ordered. But in no case, even after many years from the date of death, you can not bring alcohol or sweets. No need to anger God and torment the soul of the deceased.
According to the charter of the church, for the grace of the soul of the deceased, immediately after his death, a magpie must be ordered in the temple, which will be read for forty days. In the monastery, you can order a prayer service for the repose, which the ministers will do for several months. Another important point, which must be observed - if a person was unbaptized during his lifetime, then in church services Oh, you can't remember him. One can only pray for the blessing of his soul at home before the face of the saint, whose name was given to the reposed servant of God.
If for some reason it is not possible to mark a wake on the day of the death of a loved one, then you can do this at any other time, even if it is much later than the date of death, with the exception of those days when it is forbidden to remember the dead. It is not necessary to arrange a commemoration according to church rules during:
In these days, it is impossible to celebrate a wake, in this way you can disturb the reposed soul, as a result of which it will suffer and languish.
You can repeatedly hear that it is impossible to commemorate the dead on Monday. In fact, the church charter does not prohibit this. This opinion is connected solely with the opinion of people that Monday is a difficult day, and nothing can be started on this day, which means that you can hold a commemoration on this day of the week.
The hour is coming when the remains of the deceased are buried in the earth, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the mother of the Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry out. On certain days, she prays for the deceased and brings a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of commemoration are the third, ninth and fortieth (while the day of death is considered the first). Commemoration these days is consecrated by an ancient church custom. It is consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave.
Third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image Holy Trinity.
For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her to those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house where the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul, on the other hand, walks in those places where it used to do the right thing. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him, the God of all. Therefore, the church commemoration of the soul, which appeared before the face of the Just, is very timely.
Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the deceased.
After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. For this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the enjoyment of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How busy I am in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too would be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas, poor me!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. With fear and trembling the soul stands before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.
Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. The prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established a commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased ascended the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, was rewarded with the sight of God, achieved the blessedness promised to her and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.
After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates cruel torments unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until doomsday. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They blot out the sins of the deceased and ask his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.
Anniversary. The Church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed holidays are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always celebrated with at least a hearty commemoration of his loving relatives and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.
Ecumenical funeral service (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)
In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away from the age of faith, who have been honored with a Christian death, as well as those who, having been overtaken by sudden death, were not sent to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The requiems performed at the same time, indicated by the charter of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In a circle liturgical year such days of common remembrance are:
Saturday is meatless. Dedicating the Meat-Feast Week to the remembrance of the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for her living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all genera, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death. and pray to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers, and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the Church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all who die in the faith. And communion with them through prayer, prayerful commemoration of them is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.
Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all the dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of the salvation of man, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is alive.” ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church dedicates to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. St. Basil the Great, who compiled the touching prayers for the Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord, most of all, on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for "those who are held in hell."
Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Holy Forty Days. On Holy Forty Days - the days of Great Lent, spiritual feat, the feat of repentance and doing good to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemoration on the appointed days of those who have departed from this life. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church to commemorate the departed also for the reason that no funeral commemorations are performed on the weekly days of Great Lent (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, forty-mouthed), since there is no daily full liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the dead is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of Holy Forty Days, the indicated Saturdays are singled out.
Radonitsa. The basis of the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas' week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. Thomas Sunday, on the other hand, the permission of the church charter to perform the usual commemoration after Holy and Bright weeks, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their loved ones with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the very day of commemoration is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).
Unfortunately, in Soviet time a custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after an earnest prayer for their repose in the temple - after a memorial service served in the church. During the Easter week there are no requiems, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Paschal week, litanies for the dead are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.
CHURCH FUNERAL SERVICES
It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days of commemoration, but also on any other day. The Church performs the main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), a note with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox can be entered). On the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be taken out of the prosphora, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy cup and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest good that we can give to those who are dear to us. Here is how the commemoration at the liturgy is said in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before being separated from real life, only did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayerful vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in deeds of love for God and neighbor), - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer punishment for the sins they have committed, without losing, however, the hope of relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and good works done for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergy brings for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic and Apostolic Church daily brings.
At the top of the note is usually placed an eight-pointed Orthodox cross. Then the type of commemoration is indicated - “On the repose”, after which the names of those commemorated in large, legible handwriting are written. genitive case(to answer the question “who?”), with the clergy and monastics being the first to be mentioned, indicating the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, Shegumen Savva, Archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrei, Nina).
All names must be given in church spelling (for example, Tatiana, Alexy) and in full (Michael, Lyubov, not Misha, Lyuba).
The number of names in the note does not matter; it is only necessary to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more carefully. Therefore, it is better to submit several notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.
By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of the monastery or temple. To avoid confusion, remember that the difference in prices (registered or simple notes) only reflects the difference in the amount of the donation. Nor should you be embarrassed if you have not heard the names of your relatives mentioned in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place on the proskomedia, when particles are taken out of the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your commemoration book and pray for loved ones. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on that day partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.
After the liturgy, you can serve a memorial service. A memorial service is served before the eve - a special table with the image of a crucifix and rows of candlesticks. Here you can also leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of the departed loved ones.
It is very important after death to order a magpie in the temple - an unceasing commemoration at the liturgy for forty days. At the end of the magpie, you can order again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (as long as the monastery stands) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (this is an ancient Orthodox custom). Than in more temples will be offered a prayer, the better for our neighbor!
It is very useful on the memorable days of the deceased to donate to the church, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve, you can bring sacrificed food. You can’t just bring meat food and alcohol (except church wine) on the eve. The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle that is placed on his repose.
Understanding that the most we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of commemoration at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and do works of mercy.
REMEMBERING THE DEAD AT HOME PRAYER
Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need, by and large, either a coffin, or a grave monument, and even more so a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. But the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer, for she cannot do good deeds herself, with which she would be able to propitiate the Lord. Prayer at home for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox. St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says this about prayer for the departed: “If the all-pervading Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this not mean that it is still allowed to throw a rope, although not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and maybe often, salvific for souls who have fallen away from the shore of temporal life, but have not reached the eternal home? Salvatory for those souls who vacillate over the abyss between bodily death and the last judgment of Christ, now rising by faith, now plunging into deeds unworthy of it, now exalted by grace, now being brought down by the remains of a damaged nature, now ascending by Divine desire, now becoming entangled in coarse, not yet completely stripped off the clothes of earthly thoughts ... "
The home prayer commemoration of the deceased Christian is very diverse. One should especially pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section “Reading the Psalter for the Dead”, during this period it is very useful to read about the deceased Psalter, at least one kathisma a day. You can also recommend reading an akathist for the repose of the dead. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for the deceased parents, relatives, known and benefactors. For this, the following is included in the number of daily morning prayers: short prayer:
Prayer for the dead
Give rest, O Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.
It is more convenient to read the names from the commemorative book - a small book where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom to keep family commemorations, reading which Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their deceased ancestors by name.
FUNERAL MEAL
The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss the news, eat tasty food, while Orthodox Christians should also pray for the departed at the memorial table.
Before the meal, one should perform a lithium - a short rite of memorial service, which can be performed by a layman. In extreme cases, you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer "Our Father". The first dish that is eaten at the wake is kutya (kolyovo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains are a symbol of resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutya should be consecrated with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.
Naturally, the desire of the owners to treat everyone who came to the commemoration to taste better. But you need to observe the fasts established by the Church, and eat the allowed food: on Wednesday, Friday, during long fasts - do not eat fast. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is transferred to the next Saturday or Sunday.
It is necessary to refrain from wine, especially from vodka, at the memorial meal! The dead are not commemorated with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a commemoration is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who can suffer afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that "drunken" commemorations often turn into an ugly gathering, where the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread “for the deceased” at the table is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.
On the contrary, there are pious practices worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the poor and the poor, children and old women are the first to sit down at the memorial table. They can also distribute clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of certification from the afterlife about great help deceased as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to start living a life Orthodox Christian.
Thus, one now living archimandrite relates the following incident from his pastoral practice.
“It was in the difficult post-war years. Comes to me, the rector of the village church, a mother crying with grief, in which her eight-year-old son Misha drowned. And she says that Misha dreamed of her and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I say to her: "Are any of his clothes left?" - "Oh sure". - "Give it to your friends Mishin, they will surely come in handy."
A few days later, she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the same clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked, but now complained of hunger. I advised to make a memorial meal for the village children - Misha's friends and acquaintances. No matter how difficult it is in difficult times, but what can you do for your beloved son! And the woman, than she could, treated the children.
She came for the third time. She thanked me very much: "Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and full, only my prayers are not enough." I taught her prayers and advised her not to leave works of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, to the best of her ability and ability she helped orphans, the poor and the poor.”
In all your affairs, remember your end().
God is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for with Him all are alive ().
Commemoration of the dead- a charitable act of an intercessory nature, aimed at improving the fate of the deceased.
For a Christian, there is no death, as disappearance, or cessation of existence. - this is the completion of the earthly path, the cessation of suffering, a kind of frontier, beyond which comes what he has been going and striving for all his life. Whoever knew the truth and died in faith, he conquered death, together with the Risen One. does not divide its members into the living and the dead, with Christ all are alive.
According to the teaching of the Holy Orthodox Church, all believers in the Lord Jesus Christ do not die, but live forever. “Whoever lives and believes in me will never die” (). Therefore, dying Orthodox Christians do not cease to be members of the Holy Church, maintaining prayerful communion with all the rest of her children.
The fruit of the life of any person is only one thing - which he was able to manifest in his life. After a temporary separation and a body before, the deceased can no longer do deeds of love, but his love can be multiplied through his loved ones in his memory.
Relatives can, wishing to help the deceased, commemorate him at the Liturgy, pray for him, do works of mercy in his memory.
“Anyone who wants to show his love for the dead and give them real help can best do this by praying for them and, in particular, by submitting a note to commemoration on the Divine. We cannot do anything better or more for them. They always need this…” (Arch.
In addition to praying for the departed, another act of commemoration of them is. By alms is meant not only giving to the poor in memory of the deceased, but any kindness in relation to those in need.
From ancient times, there is a custom to perform about each deceased commemoration on the third, ninth and fortieth days upon his death, as well as to make magpies.- this is a continuous commemoration for 40 days after death.
Also dedicated to the commemoration of the deceased annual death day, birthday and name day in the sense that the deceased is alive and immortal in spirit and will someday be completely renewed when the Lord raises up his body.
In addition to participating in funeral services, the Holy Church commands her children commemorate the dead and at home prayer. Here every worshiper is given some freedom to exercise personal diligence. In addition to the evening and morning prayers, the monks and laity read the commemoration book, making a commemoration by name of the living and the dead. In addition, there is ancient custom read. At home prayer, with the blessing of the confessor, a commemoration can also be made of those who cannot be commemorated at a church service - their relatives and friends who died outside the fence of the Orthodox Church - unbaptized, heretics, etc. The Optina elders allowed even suicides to be commemorated at home prayers.
Communication between the earth and Heavenly Church undoubtedly exists. It is based on Christian love and is expressed in prayerful help to each other. The Savior says: But God is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for with Him all are alive»(). The Apostle Paul writes: Love will never end» ().
The question of how exactly those who have died for them are reflected on the part of the members of the earthly world does not have a detailed, even detailed, disclosure in Orthodox Dogmatic Theology. What can be said with confidence, charitable prayers for the deceased neighbors do not remain fruitless; thanks to prayerful obedience, the deceased can receive consolation and joy. We cannot say for sure that the deceased hear our prayers, but we can say that they feel them.
One can learn about some details from the life of the deceased and how prayers addressed to them affect them from the content of private revelations taught at different times by one or another saint.
So, from a revelation to the Monk Gregory, a disciple of St. Basil the New, it is known that the soul of Blessed Theodora (after her physical death), passing through, felt the effect of the prayers of her confessor, Father Basil. At the same time, she understood who was praying for her. His prayers helped her to go through the trials.
The saint was rather attentive to this issue. In one of the most famous works this author, "Dialogues ...", presents the story of two pious wives who, unfortunately, could not bridle their tongues. They did not do this even after they were rebuked and instructed by the “man of God”, who warned them that if they did not correct themselves, he would excommunicate them from the Church. Soon the sharp-speaking women died and were buried within the local temple. When it was performed in the temple, and the deacon, at a certain time, according to tradition, ordered the disfellowshipped to leave the assembly of the faithful, the former nurse of the dead wives saw how they suddenly rose from the graves and went out. When she reported these visions to the “man of God,” he handed it to her and told her to bring it to the Lord. After she carried out the order of the saint, the deceased no longer “rose” from the graves and were not removed from the church. From what has been said, it follows that in some mysterious way the deacon's pronouncement became known to the souls of women, but how, St. Gregory does not explain.
A lot of evidence of this kind is known, however, it should be remembered that not everything that is reported in them can be understood literally: there is a lot of mysterious and symbolic in them.
In addition, not all evidence can be trusted. For example, not every “appearance” of a “relative” in a dream is the actual appearance of a relative. For example, under the guise of kindred spirits, evil spirits may appear to the sleeping person. On the other hand, the "appearance of a deceased relative" may be a natural result of intense memories or worries about him. Right Action in the case of the "appearance" of the deceased neighbor, it will be - to strengthen the prayer both for oneself and for the neighbor, whose image was revealed in a dream.
Wake days: 9, 40 days and 1 year after death. Days of Remembrance of the Dead and saints Orthodox. parent saturday. Notes in post. commemoration on the day of the funeral.
To commemorate a person who has passed away is a kind of mission, something obligatory, but at the same time performed without coercion - in memory of a loved one who is not around, but who will forever remain in the hearts of people who remember him.
It is customary to commemorate the deceased on the day of the funeral, which, according to Christian tradition, fall on the third day after death, on ninth and fortieth days, and also after year after loss.
Memorial Day after the funeral is very important. Those who have gathered to see the deceased on his last journey offer up prayers to God for the reassurance of his soul. On this day it is customary to cover large memorial table(you can find out what it should be like on the page "") and slowly hold a meal, during which those present are given the opportunity to express their grief and say a few kind words about the departed person. How to issue an invitation to a commemoration - read the article. How to formulate your thoughts at the wake and what words to choose, read on the page "". 
Wake on the ninth day is best spent in narrow circle
- with relatives and friends, - reading prayers and resurrecting in memory the episodes of the life of the deceased, characterizing him from the very best sides. On this day, you can visit the grave of the deceased, freshen the flowers and once again mentally “talk” and say goodbye to a dear person.
Wake on day 40 (or forty) are no less significant than the events held on the day of the funeral. According to Orthodox beliefs, at forty the soul of a departed person appears before God and her fate is decided, where she will go - to heaven or hell. On this day, relatives and friends should prepare large memorial table and invite everyone who knew the deceased and would like to remember him. At forty, it is customary to visit the grave of the deceased and read prayers for the repose of his soul.
Memorial service for the dead
Through year after death it is not necessary to hold a memorial for a large number enough people to get together at the family table and honor the memory of the departed. However, on the anniversary of death, visit the grave of the deceased and tidy up if necessary. A year after the sad event experienced, you can plant flowers, needles on the grave, paint the fence, or, if the monument was temporary, replace it with a permanent granite or marble monument.
Wake for 3, 9, 40 days, as well as 1 year later suppose u Orthodox Christians holding church services. When visiting the temple, relatives and relatives of the deceased light candles, read prayers and organize memorial services. But let's add that this can be taken care of not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary days. So, you can light a candle and pray in the church if something bothers you and feelings about the departed person again flooded. You can give prayers in the temple on the birthday of the deceased, on the day on which his name day fell, and at any other time when you feel like it. You can pray on the days of commemoration at home yourself or by inviting a clergyman.
Why should we pray for the dead?
And finally. Days of remembrance should be met and seen off in good location spirit, not holding a grudge against anyone, especially a deceased person. At the commemoration, it is also customary to distribute alms to those in need and treat everyone who surrounds you on this day with memorial dishes - neighbors, colleagues, friends.
