Each individual has a completely different character. You will never find identical personalities, differing only in appearance. If you and the people around you are not bothered by your behavior and habits, then you don’t even think about how to change yourself and your character. But there are cases when a certain type of character interferes in life.
Character is not genetically programmed into a person; it is an acquired phenomenon. It begins to form from the first months after the birth of the baby. Main role This is played by the communication of the child, who copies the behavior of those around him.
Active age of formation characteristic features The child's personality is from 2 to 10 years. During this period, children communicate with each other and parents. They are open to new achievements and gaining experience. They see around them how peers communicate with each other, how parents communicate with other children, how parents communicate with each other. At this time, the child copies actions and phrases, so parents should constantly control themselves so as not to say or do unnecessary things in front of the child. 
In to school years First of all, a manifestation of kindness or a negative attitude towards the surrounding world, animals, people, responsiveness and sociability are noticed in the child. Or selfishness, isolation and an indifferent attitude appear. The more that is put into the baby’s consciousness, the better. Strengthening of qualities occurs in educational games, while reading books, and in household chores.
If you want to develop kindness, mutual assistance, responsiveness, and compassion in your child, bring home an animal from the street. Feed him, treat him, wash him, show him good relations to our smaller brothers. Move the old lady across the road, add money to the old man in the store who lacks several tens of rubles for groceries. Children absorb their parents' actions like a sponge. Later they will repeat the same thing. Proper education– the key to a positively formed character.
Schoolchildren are surrounded a large number of people: these are teachers, classmates, parents of friends, etc. During this period, active social development. The formation of individual traits is greatly influenced by the child’s environment: how peers and teachers communicate with him.
The child tries not to lag behind others in anything. And if he succeeds, he succeeds in his studies, and sometimes even succeeds in front of his classmates. If the opposite happens, he studies poorly, does not understand some tasks, reads worse than others, and complexes develop in him. Over time, he stops trying at all, so there is a chance that he will become a poor student. 
Such complexes must be suppressed in the bud if parents do not want behavior problems in the future during adolescence. At this time, the child is developing physically, his hormonal levels are changing, and his psyche is unstable. This is a time of drastic changes in behavior and daring actions.
By the senior grades, as a rule, the character is already fully formed; only the traits are consolidated. The child already knows what he wants from life and tries himself in new endeavors.
A person's character is formed from infancy to graduation (up to approximately 18 years of age). There are practically no fundamental changes. There are only some distortions in one direction or another.
The child receives the basics and reinforcement during his school years, and by the end of his education he becomes a mature personality.
Some character traits often interfere with our lives. This may be excessive shyness, which prevents you from meeting the opposite sex. Or sloppiness, which manifests itself in constant chaos at home and at work, which is not particularly liked by colleagues and roommates. Curiosity also does not always bring positive results. Not everyone likes having a nickel shoved into their life. There are times when we want to change ourselves and our character in order to improve our lives. But how to do this, because the character has been formed over the years. This is quite difficult to do, but possible.
To change something in yourself, you must first imagine what kind of life you imagine, what you want to be present in it, and most importantly, who. What kind of people will surround you, what will you have. If you are used to thinking that life is decay, then so be it. Be positive and discover your talent. Changing your thoughts is difficult, but there is an interesting technique. Take the rubber band that is used to tie the bundles of money together. Place it on your wrist. And every time a thought arises in your head, snap yourself with a tightly stretched rubber band and think about the good. Believe me, the feeling is not pleasant. Over time, this will become a habit, thoughts will slowly turn to the side of good. 
No, to do this you don’t need to turn into a parrot or a monkey and imitate someone. Come up with an idol for yourself, a standard of the person you would like to be. Maybe it will be a TV star, a film actor, or maybe a neighbor from the apartment opposite. In moments of bitterness, anger or some other negative points Imagine this person and think about what he would do if he were in your place.
Due to their complex nature, many do not succeed. But this is wrong behavior; anyone should love themselves. But to help yourself, do auto-training in front of the mirror every morning, saying how much you love yourself, how every minute you are becoming better and better (kinder, more cheerful, more energetic, more confident, etc.). But don't become a narcissist. You want to create a new person, learn to create, become a creator, an artist.
Situations that repeat regularly happen to us every day. It's rare that something out of the ordinary happens. So over time, we get into the habit of reacting to similar situations in the same way. To track your behavior, in the evening after work, while your memories are still fresh, write down each situation and how you behaved. This will help you analyze the reaction to what is happening around you and understand what is wrong, what to change, and what to improve. You won’t be able to become perfect, but correcting yourself won’t hurt anyone. Rank the traits in ascending order which should be fixed first. For example, top 10!
To change yourself and your character, you will need to make this process a habit. You've been doing the same thing for years, not noticing anything around you, and then suddenly you decide to change radically. It won't work that way. Make a clear plan to follow and motivate yourself. Clear control is the key to success. Actions must become a habit.
When you change yourself you won't know own life. She will change with you, you just have to want it.
26 February 2014, 15:31We are all to one degree or another dissatisfied with endowed qualities.
How to become ambidextrous? you will find on our website.
A person's character is something a set of personality qualities and properties, which influences all the actions and manifestations of this person.
It determines this or that way of life and behavior.
In psychology character is considered from the following points of view:
A person’s character is also understood as a combination of the following groups of personality traits:
Take the test and find out about your character:
Character begins to form from the first months of life.
At the same time, the main role on at this stage belongs to communication with others, since the child imitates loved ones and thus learns forms of behavior.
In addition, there is a special period of character development, which ranges from two to ten years. At this time, children perceive information best, actively communicate with others, and are exposed to outside influence.
The main condition for the formation of character is the social environment, that is, all the people who surround a person in the process of growing up and beyond.
In addition, to important conditions include and physiological prerequisites. This refers to the peculiarities of the functioning of the brain, the degree of its development is determined by differences in the character of different people.
Previously, there was an opinion that a person’s personality fully formed by age 25. And it is precisely at this age that all the main character traits are laid down and if they can be changed in the future, then only slightly.
But various studies in the field of psychology have proven that a person's personality continues to change and in adulthood.
This happens under the influence of life experience and other factors.
Is it possible to change your character on your own? Find out in this video:
All this is of course very individual and depends on many features. There are people for whom changing their own character is easier. And there are those who have to apply great effort on oneself.
Your own wish. If you sincerely want to change, then nothing will stop you.
Thus, if you are 30 years old or more, then you can change your character, but for this you need a lot of desire and active work above oneself.
This video is about how to work on negative character traits:
How to change character in better side? Undoubtedly The worse your character, the more difficult it is to live. Incontinence, laziness, hot temper and others negative qualities They obviously won’t add value to you or help you build a career.
The world's population has already exceeded 3 billion. And all people are different. Some people go through life laughing; easily and simply overcomes all life's adversities; finds new friends everywhere and does not forget to honor old ones with attention; Everyone knows him and everyone loves him, because he is a holiday man. And someone just dreams of such a fate and day after day asks the question: “How can I change my character so as to be at least a little like those lucky people who are adored by everyone?”
But everyone has shortcomings, and outward carefreeness is just one side of the coin. But not everyone understands this. But imperfections are more easily perceived by others if a person is easy-going, positive and sociable. So how can you change your character? Psychology provides the answer to this question and many side questions. And one of the main ones sounds like this: what is the problem of those who want to change? The answers are obvious:
Innate character traits;
Fear of change;
External aggravating circumstances.
How to fight? First, understand what you can overcome on your own and what you cannot. And then turn to professionals for help.
1. Selfishness. Someone is completely in love with himself, considers himself a unique and incredible person. He does not admit mistakes, and chalks up successes only to his own account. And thus he simply does not allow other people into his life, even his parents and loved ones. Of course, this is an extreme manifestation of selfishness, expressed in pure narcissism, but such people really exist. Is it worth it and how to change your character for the sake of your loved one? Costs. Only determination and effort will lead to real results.
2. Inconsistency. Someone’s mood is like a sine wave: it either rises rapidly, then rolls downward at speed. People around are at a loss: what to expect from such a person? But he himself is not happy, he himself cannot sort out his thoughts and intentions.
3. Infantility. There is a child inside every adult. The question is how much space an adult takes up in his soul. Enjoying life without regard to troubles is a wonderful quality. But not taking on at least some responsibility is, alas, repulsive. Such people should think about how to change their character to a more mature one.
4. Closedness. If someone deliberately fences himself off from the world around him, erects walls and obstacles on the way to his soul, he is most likely doomed to loneliness. Too few people want to overcome the barriers someone else has built.
5. Bitchiness. If your fighting spirit is a consequence of the feeling that you are surrounded by competitors and envious people, it’s time to think about how this rejection of others can help you find true friends. No, not useful connections, but people for whom the person himself is important. By the way, bitchiness is not only a female trait.
6. Softness. People rarely become friends with a person who cannot refuse. Rather, they are used, giving preference to reliability rather than character traits. How to change your character to a tougher one? The answer is ambiguous.
But if a goal appears, then there is a chance to change for the better. To achieve results, use several proven methods.
Who, if not relatives, know a person best? Therefore, their help is difficult to overestimate. Be prepared to soberly listen to other people's opinions and directly ask them about your negative traits. Most likely, each judgment individually will be subjective, but several put together can set you on the right path.
Another way to look at yourself from the outside is to ask someone to make a video recording. Not the whole day, of course, but the moment when you are at the peak of irritation, begin to make a row or argue irreconcilably with someone (it is especially important to catch the moment when you are the initiator of the conflict). You can analyze the video yourself, but it is better to seek comments from a specialist - he will certainly tell you how to get out of the situation, as well as how to change your character for the better. In any case, the scene you see from the outside will clearly demonstrate the shortcomings of your own nature. Most likely, one video will not solve the problem, but it will definitely motivate you to improve yourself.
Yes, yes, find a friend who will be completely similar to you - the same habits, hobbies, outlook on life... and most importantly, the same problems. With its help, it will be even easier for you to look at yourself from the outside, understand what repels others in your behavior, and what exactly needs to be changed in your character.
It's easy to say, "Find it." But, on the other hand, fate often pits similar people against each other. You just need to take a closer look. And you know better than anyone how to get to know each other and get closer. Just ask yourself what you expect from a stranger. And there will definitely be common topics for conversation.
Spend as much time as possible together, because the more communication, the more unforeseen situations you can get into and expose hidden character traits. Look at your new friend like in a mirror before leaving the house. Note to yourself your attitude towards other people, loved ones and relatives. After some time, the answer to the question will come by itself: “How to change your character?”
Positively minded people find solutions to problems faster. It's simple - they knock out a wedge with a wedge. Therefore, spend more time with kind and optimistic people. Try to imitate them. As soon as you notice the first signs of irritation in yourself, fight! Hold on with all your might good mood. Deep inhalations and exhalations, counting to yourself from 0 to 10, or bright images from memories help maintain balance.
Literature from the category of Eastern philosophy helps to get out of depression and move into a peaceful state.
How to change your character? Deliberately make yourself nervous, and then suddenly feel elated. Disabled children, orphans, and elderly people need love and care. All this is not an easy task for strangers. But the very awareness of a good deed helps to improve oneself. Fate offended them, did not give them human warmth much more than you. Using the example of other people's failures, it is much easier to feel the joy of your own successes. In addition, as a bonus for your kindness, you will receive long-awaited attention and participation in your life. strangers. What will give you confidence in your own abilities.
Any notebook or any popular Internet service is suitable for a diary. Write down thoughts, negative, positive - it doesn’t matter. Set goals for yourself. Write about your achievements. And be sure to re-read it. Paper and the Internet will endure anything, and with the passage of time you will be able to look back on your problems and look at them with fresh, critical eyes. Analyze carefully. Don't run from your shortcomings, recognize the enemy and fight.
Are you still asking yourself how to change your character? And yet you already know the answer: “It’s not easy at all.” Great! Awareness is one of the stages of self-improvement. Make an effort, try and don’t give up - you will succeed. Victory over yourself is worth all the effort and time spent. You will soon notice that you have become happier, more popular, more loved, more successful. So don’t hesitate, wasting precious minutes - start acting right now.
"Tell me please, ? I'm 20 years old and I can't control myself. I can be either angry and aggressive or seemingly normal and calm. And then I start snapping at everyone again, I can be rude and slam the door. I often get offended over trifles. Sometimes I try to hold back, but it doesn’t last long. I hate myself like this. I have almost no friends. What should I do with myself?
Victoria Vinnikova, teacher, answers:
Hello Anna. We all dream of becoming better. Someone is tired of being irritated and snapping at others, another wants to become decisive and self-confident, a third is tired of being rude and offended. More often we're talking about about sustainable habits, but at the same time we all want to change our character.
In this article we will show 5 simple steps to understanding what character you are given and how it can be corrected.
Obviously, everyone is different. One person is born nimble and agile, and a calmer person may think that the nimble one has such a restless character. The other is slow and thorough, prone to systematization and analysis. And then the smart person can say that the first one has a boring character.
Some are overly emotional, others are more withdrawn. We all have our own characteristics, and when characterizing a person, we add different epithets: hysterical, emotional, artistic, withdrawn, etc. So what - all these people need to change their nature and quickly ask the question: how to change their character for the better?
The scientific answer lies in the area of the unconscious, which is studied and revealed by System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
When we want to change our character, we must first understand what exactly we want to change in it, that is, understand what exactly prevents us from achieving the desired result or makes us suffer.
System-vector psychology gives a clear answer to why this or that does not work out in life and how to fix it: at the same time, use your character correctly.
As in the famous proverb: if you sow an action, you will reap a habit, if you sow a habit, you will reap a character, and if you sow a character, you will reap a destiny.
We are all different from each other, but at the same time our desires, properties and aspirations can be combined into groups, which the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan calls vectors.
So the character of each person is determined by his innate vectors.
You can sulk at your character, but it won't change anything. It’s better to figure out how everything works and fix what can be changed.
It is obvious that character is formed from childhood. It is there that we take our first actions, which then become habits. Whether they are good or not is another question.
All our actions are dictated by unconscious desires for pleasure, according to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Therefore, the basis for the formation of childhood habits is the child’s desire to obtain pleasure or avoid suffering.
When, for example, the innate desire of a person with a skin vector - naturally fast, dexterous, constantly on the move - is suppressed in childhood and he is forced to “sit straight and not twitch,” then as a result he develops a habit of fuss and flickering.
And if a child with an anal vector, who is by nature thorough and unhurried, is constantly urged and hurried, then from childhood he develops such a character trait as stubbornness, which outwardly looks as if he falls into a stupor on any occasion.
“...During the training, I became the winner of the professional competition “Teacher of the Year.” I allowed myself to improvise on stage (I was afraid before). There was confidence, courage, and a desire to experiment. There is no irritability or nervousness. At least I learned to control myself. Now there is more energy and desire to act.
Thanks to SVP, I live and devote myself to life with all my passion, without saving. I allow myself to be filled (in selfishness!), because I want to give more to others. I used to consider it an “honor” to be a “martyr” and bear the “cross.” Now I have allowed myself to peel off a layer of culture and feel my nature. It’s a great pleasure to feel yourself!..”
The famous inner smile appears already in the free online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
The article was written using materials from online training on System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan
Chapter:
How to change your character?
On the one hand, life casts a person’s character, and on the other, character leaves its mark on all a person’s actions, his thoughts and feelings. Of course, a cowardly person can commit a decisive act, and a polite one can break into rudeness. But still, we call decisive or rude only that person for whom such behavior is the norm, who almost always acts in this way.
But you can not only study your character, but also actively change it. Influencing other people will be most effective only if you yourself meet the requirements that you place on others.
Let's explore our character a little.
In the system of relationships, there are four groups of character traits:
1. Character traits that indicate a person’s attitude towards work (hard work, laziness, initiative)
2. Character traits that indicate a person’s attitude towards the team and society (sociability, sensitivity, callousness, rudeness)
3. Character traits that indicate a person’s attitude towards himself (modesty, vanity, self-criticism)
4. Character traits indicating a person’s attitude towards things (neatness, frugality)
ATTENTION! Currently, experts count more than 15 thousand names of personality traits. They can also be character traits if they are clearly manifested in activity.
Let's write down the character traits you know in alphabetical order.
For example:
A - ambition, altruism
B - frugality. Dishonesty Continue to letter Z yourself.
Well, how is it working out? Look how many components there are. But! It is important to manage all this so that your weaknesses do not become dominant in your life.
Character is formed in behavior. And the motives of behavior are fixed in character. Therefore, the path to character formation lies through the formation of appropriate motives for behavior. And the same action can have several different motives.
You are doing the exercise foreign language. The goal is one - to remember a certain number of words. What about the motives?
Children answer: get a good grade, earn the teacher's approval, prepare for exams. It is the motives of activity that determine a person’s program, productivity and character. Therefore, if you want to influence your character, analyze it from the point of view of motives. Learn to correctly evaluate your actions - learn to manage your behavior. In order for a person to sufficiently control his behavior, he must have a developed will.
Will - the ability to overcome difficulties, perseverance in achieving a goal. The development of will begins with the formation of volitional habits. It’s not for nothing that Eastern wisdom says: If you sow an action, you will reap a habit; sow a habit and reap a character; sow character, you reap destiny. You and I have already discussed this a thousand times.
Consolidation.
Exercises for developing will and character.
Walk. Leave the house and return exactly after a certain time. Acceptable errors - 2 min.
Charger. Start charging
