After visiting the temple or praying on the 9th day, it is also customary to prepare a table for the friends and relatives of the deceased. In most cases, Orthodox Christians, including in Russia, of course, follow this rule and organize a funeral without fail.
However, sometimes it happens that it is not possible to organize a meal on the 9th day for some serious reason. And of course, in this case, the relatives have a question about whether it is possible to hold the wake earlier or later.
According to Orthodox canons, for 2 days after death, the soul of the deceased remains on earth and visits its usual places, saying goodbye to loved ones. On the third day, the deceased appears before God.
Over the next 6 days, the soul is shown heaven and the abodes of saints. On the 9th day he is taken to hell, where over the next 30 days angels introduce him to the places of torment of sinners.
On the 40th day, the soul of the deceased is again called to God. And at this moment he already decides where she will stay in the future - in heaven or in hell - until the Last Judgment.
Since this date for the deceased, according to the views of the Church, is truly of great importance, it is not recommended to postpone it. However, the priests believe that the most important thing is not the organization of the funeral itself, but the prayers for the deceased.
This means that on the 9th day go to the temple or pray for the departed loved one a must at home. If for some reason it is not possible to gather relatives and friends on this day, you should at least distribute the funeral food to your acquaintances and, of course, to the sick and poor. Actually, the funeral meal itself can be postponed to a later date.
Thus, only prayer for the deceased is obligatory on the 9th day in Orthodoxy. In the church, the priests recommend standing for the liturgy and ordering a memorial service for the deceased. It is not necessary to organize a memorial meal on this day.
Moreover, in Orthodoxy on some days it is not even allowed to hold a funeral. For example, you cannot do this on Easter. It is not recommended to assemble a table for the deceased and Lent. If the 9th day falls at this time, you need to pray for the deceased and postpone the organization of the meal to a later date. At the same time, organizing a funeral earlier in Orthodoxy is still not recommended.
According to Orthodox traditions, the soul of a deceased person wanders the earth for forty days, saying goodbye to his family and friends. The fortieth day is very important for the soul, it is then that it appears before the face of God and is responsible for all its life actions. On this day, the soul itself is no longer able to change anything, but this is subject to the relatives and friends of the deceased. Our ancestors sacredly revered church traditions, and they instilled this in us. But today's rhythm of life sometimes confronts us with difficult choices. No one can stop time or make it go faster; funerals do not always coincide with our weekends, and the question remains relevant for many: Is it possible to remember forty days earlier?
The day of death is considered the first day when the soul begins to wander between worlds. The wanderings end at the fortieth - the decision to future fate souls. The importance of this moment cannot be overestimated. The most important thing we can do is to pray for a person, remember all his positive qualities. With our prayers and memories we ask higher power give a positive verdict and be merciful.
The deceased should be commemorated throughout the entire forty days, so to the question of whether it is possible to commemorate a person earlier, the answer can only be “yes.” However, it is on the 40th day that you need to visit the church and order a funeral prayer. Try to remember the deceased with kind words as often as possible.
If you are unable to organize funeral dinner on the 40th day, don't be upset. The funeral meal itself has no meaning for the deceased. What is important is not a rich table and all kinds of dishes, but what is important is your attention, prayers and memories. Submit a note to the church for the liturgy, attend the service on the 40th day, after which order a memorial service.
The tradition of gathering loved ones at the funeral table has existed for many years, but church ministers note that especially important days After the death of a person, it is prayerful commemorations, and not funeral dinners, that play a huge role. In ancient times, it was customary to share food with the poor and beggars, attend the service and order a memorial prayer in the name of saving the soul of the deceased.
It should be noted that memorial days often occur at large church holidays. The clergy urge people to spend time not at the table with friends and loved ones, but in church - in prayer for the soul and in the name of all saints.
It is very important not only to order a prayer for the repose of the soul, but also to be present in the temple at this time, turning to the Lord along with everyone. It is the prayerful remembrance that should not be postponed to a day earlier or later; it should be carried out on important days for the soul - the 3rd, 9th and 40th after death.
Since ancient times, Russia has preserved the tradition of celebrating memorable dates, and people honor not only the birthdays of living people, but also the days of departure from the other world. This is due to the fact that Christians believe in a further afterlife with God. Many citizens do not know how to properly perform a funeral service for 1 year. The rules are quite simple; they help the deceased find peace in the next world.
Commemoration is the oldest ritual that was carried out back in Ancient Rus'. The main purpose of this ritual is to honor the memory of the deceased and facilitate his stay in heaven.. The basis of the wake is a meal, which the relatives of the deceased spend in his apartment, cafe, or directly at the cemetery. When the anniversary of death is commemorated, and how to honor it, you can find out in the temple.
Memorials are celebrated on the following days:
The most important is the commemoration on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after repose. In Christianity, they are of the opinion that for the first 2 days after leaving for another world, the human soul is still on earth and goes around all its native places. On the third day the soul goes to bow to God.
Informative! What is it needed on the wrist for: meaning in Christianity.
For the next 7 days, angels will show the soul life in heaven and the beauty of paradise. On the 9th day, the soul is again sent to worship God, after which it is led to the kingdom of darkness - hell - for 30 days.
For a month, the soul of the deceased is shown the eternal torment of sinners. At the end, on the 40th day, the soul is again taken to bow to God, where a decision is made in which exact place the soul will be until the Last Judgment.
In addition, you can remember a deceased relative on the following days:
Since a baptized deceased person is a member Orthodox Church, you can order a memorial service and magpie for him at almost any time.
It is important to know! If the anniversary coincides with an important church holiday, it is recommended to postpone it to the next day.
The most important thing for remembering the deceased is not the meal, but prayer. If the deceased was a Christian, there is nothing more valuable to him than prayer on the anniversary of death. In addition, clergy advise relatives to refrain from a luxurious dinner and alcohol on the anniversary of death.
Lunch should be quite simple and modest. Funerals for 1 year and all subsequent times should absolutely not turn into a cheerful feast, since such a pastime is not welcomed by Christian traditions.
In addition to personal prayer, you must order a commemoration in the church for the year:
The most important condition is that the deceased is remembered by all his relatives. The priest does not always know the deceased personally, so he cannot express the emotions that friends and relatives experience.
The priest, in fact, is only the performer of the ritual. The rules of the event allow for ordering the reading of the Psalter. This service is more often carried out in monasteries, since it is designed for a long time. Depending on the size of the donation, the service will be held for a month, six months or even a year.
It is important to know! When ordering a service in a church, you can include in the note not only the name of the deceased, but also other deceased relatives.
The rules for holding a memorial service in 1 year are such that the event must first begin with a visit to the church. Only after relatives order special service, you can go to the cemetery and perform a civil memorial service.
After this, the relatives must clean up the grave, mention how good the person was, what good deeds he did. It would also be a good idea to bring fresh flowers. It is very important to remember that you are allowed to go to the cemetery only in the first half of the day.
After completing these steps, you can start eating. It is permissible to carry it out not only in the house of the deceased, but also in a cafe. The clergy do not advise having a luxurious dinner; the dishes should be quite simple. As for alcohol, only red wine is allowed to drink; vodka cannot be placed on the table.
How to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death should be decided only by relatives. But clergy advise paying attention to the oldest traditions. Often loved ones ask the question not only how to commemorate, but also with what. Lunch dishes should be modest. Be sure to prepare not only the first and second, but also kutya ( wheat porridge with raisins, candied fruits and honey). It is recommended to make snacks on this day (especially if you decided to put wine on the table). Among alcoholic drinks, cognac and Cahors are allowed. Sparkling wines are not suitable for this occasion.
Often parishioners ask priests what they order in the church on the anniversary of a death, if it falls on a fast. In this case, there should be mainly lean dishes and a lot of baked goods on the table.
If the commemoration takes place in a cafe, you need to ask the employees to turn off the music and TV. Entertainment is not permitted in the adjacent room. You should not make toasts, as it is inappropriate.
It would be better to just say good words about a person, remember his good deeds or read poetry on the anniversary of his death. You can also share warm memories with relatives.
Reference! What is forbidden to do on the anniversary of death is to say words that denigrate the deceased.
If relatives do not have the opportunity to go to the cemetery, how to remember the deceased and what to do in this case. In such a situation, you need to invite everyone home and prepare a special lunch. Many people mistakenly believe that in 1 year the rules imply covering mirrors in the apartment and placing a cutlery for the deceased on the table. The clergy claim that these traditions exist, but they do not apply to the Orthodox, so it is not necessary to adhere to them.
Every person who comes to the house must pray before sitting down to the table. It is advisable that the apartment be lit at this time. church candles. After reading the prayer, you can start eating. Relatives are allowed to talk at the table. The main thing is that there is no gossip, jokes or bad language, as this is inappropriate.
According to Christian traditions, dishes that are served to the table must be blessed. In addition to the first and second meals, lunch also includes dessert. Sweets must be present on the table, as they symbolize the joy that awaits all righteous Christians in heaven.
When preparing the table, you can consider the following tips:
If a person does not have the opportunity to go to a funeral, you can remember the deceased at home. There is no need to host a lunch for this. As you know, celebrating the anniversary of death involves reading a prayer.
This option will be optimal. Most clergy advise reading the Psalter. How to do this correctly is usually described in detail in the appendix to the book. Between psalms it is necessary to read special prayers and mention in them the names of deceased relatives. This type of remembrance is the best.
There are some exceptions in which the church does not allow commemoration of the deceased during the Liturgy. This applies to people who were baptized but never went to church. It is believed that this indicates that the person was an unbeliever during his lifetime. The clergy call such people parishioners.
Also, the church never remembers those who have committed suicide, since this is a voluntary rejection of God’s main gift - life. This rule also applies to those people who died from a drug overdose, since such a death is also considered suicide.
That's all today more people prefer to order a service in church and believes that this is enough. Despite the fact that clergy can also turn to the Almighty with a request for forgiveness of earthly sins, relatives should also pray for the deceased.
Appeals from priests, as mediators and executors of God’s will on earth, reach the Savior faster, but reading prayers at home is also mandatory. First of all, the soul of the deceased hears precisely the words of relatives, and not church ministers, so family and friends definitely need to pray.
The Christian Church teaches us that man, who was once created immortal, original sin Adam and Eve lost this greatest gift. Since then he became perishable and, having passed life path, released to him by the Lord, leaves the earthly world, taking with him the burden of sins committed, but not atoned for by repentance. Therefore, our prayers and rituals are extremely important for him to find eternal peace. How the deceased are remembered on the anniversary of death (one year after death) will be discussed in this article.
After a person’s heart has stopped beating and he has appeared before the gates of eternity, the Orthodox Church prescribes his threefold commemoration. It takes place on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. It is necessary to briefly mention them, because otherwise the story about how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death will be incomplete.
The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in commemoration of the three-day resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. It is generally accepted that for the first two days after parting with the body, the soul, accompanied by angels, still wanders near places dear to it from earthly memories. On the third day, the angels take her to heaven to worship the Almighty. Thus, the day of the first appearance before the Lord is the beginning of the memorial cycle, the completion of which will be the anniversary of death. How to remember according to church custom on this still distant day will be described below.
The next rite is performed on the ninth day, symbolizing the nine ranks of angels interceding with the Lord for the repose of the soul of His deceased servant. The Church teaches that after the third day the soul leaves the earthly world and is transported by angels to the heavenly abodes, which it contemplates for six days.
After this, she performs a second worship of the Lord and is thrown into hell, where she will remain until the fortieth day, continuously contemplating the torment endured unrepentant sinners. And only after the soul has been shown the bliss of the righteous and the suffering of the wicked, it appears before the Almighty, who, based on earthly affairs, determines its place of stay until the Last Judgment.
The third, ninth, and especially the fortieth day are as important as the anniversary of death. How to remember the deceased at these stages of his stay in the afterlife is a topic for a special conversation, but we will turn to the ritual performed a year after his death.
From time immemorial, among Orthodox people there has been a pious custom of commemorating in church on the anniversary of the death of everyone who has passed away, regardless of how many years have passed since that sad day. However, this does not eliminate the need to read the morning and evening prayer rules at home, and nowadays everything large quantity people comply with this church injunction, along with the texts contained in them, to say several funeral prayers. You can find them on the pages of an ordinary Orthodox Prayer Book.
The time that has passed since the death of a person close to us dulls the pain of the loss suffered, but despite this, it is necessary to remember how necessary memorial prayers are for him beyond the threshold of eternity, especially on the day when the anniversary of death has arrived. How to remember the deceased in order to help his soul free himself from the burden of sins? Many church fathers, who gained fame with their theological works, wrote about this.
If we look at their writings, in most of them we can see how great importance The authors impart spiritual and physical purity to those who intend with their prayers to alleviate the posthumous fate of people close to them. In other words, before you begin to pray for the forgiveness of other people's sins, you need to repent of your own. Everyone knows that the prayer of a righteous person is heard more often than the requests of one who is mired in sin.
In addition, speaking about how to properly commemorate on the anniversary of death, the holy fathers strongly recommend starting to prepare for this important matter from his post, even if it is short-lived. One - maximum two days of abstaining from fast food - meat, fish and dairy products, will help, having overcome the carnal and sometimes sinful aspirations so inherent in human nature, to direct thoughts towards the upcoming prayerful communication with God. Please note that the post in in this case is not mandatory requirement, but is only recommended as a proven means of cleansing one’s own soul and body.
This will help our prayers for forgiveness of the sins of a loved one to be heard and find grace. The Church teaches that beyond the threshold of death it will be too late to repent of what was done during life, and only those remaining on earth are able to beg God to ease the fate of the deceased.
Continuing the conversation about how to properly commemorate the deceased on the anniversary of death, one cannot help but recall the custom of ordering regular commemoration of the deceased in the church for forty days in advance of this date. This ritual is called Sorokoust and dates back to the first centuries of the establishment of Christianity in Rus'. In this case, it serves as if preparatory stage to the main actions coming on Memorial Day.
Despite the importance of home prayers, the main importance is still attached to church service on the day when the anniversary of death occurs. How to remember the deceased in the temple of God should be learned in advance from the priest, who will help perform this rite in full accordance with the traditions of the Orthodox Church. We will focus only on some generally accepted rules.
Usually, before the start of the liturgy, a note with the name of the deceased is given for his commemoration in the altar. By the way, the names of other close people who left this world in different time. They all also need prayer support. In addition, on the day of the anniversary of death, as at any other time, it would be very appropriate to order a memorial service for the deceased.
Since this funeral rite, accepted in Russian Orthodoxy for a long time, has a special meaning, then continuing the conversation about how to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death, it is worth dwelling on it in more detail. According to the rules set out in the Trebnik - a liturgical book regulating the procedure for performing the sacraments and other sacred rites, a memorial service can be held both in the church and in the house of the deceased, where a priest is invited for this purpose, as well as in a cemetery or in the place where life was cut short loved one. The memorial service is very close in structure to the funeral service. The only difference is that in this case several prayers are excluded from it.
In addition, in the Trebnik, which indicates how the deceased are remembered on the anniversary of death at home, in the cemetery and in the temple, it is prescribed upon completion church rite put on eve - small rectangular table with a crucifix, where funeral candles usually burn, - a dish filled with kutya - porridge made from whole wheat grains and poured with honey. According to church tradition, it is called koliv. When leaving the church, you should take one or more prosphoras with you and eat them at home on an empty stomach before the funeral meal begins.
Regardless of whether the memorial service was performed in a church, or the relatives of the deceased limited themselves to a modest home ritual, it is highly recommended on this day, as on any other, to distribute alms to those whom the vicissitudes of life forced with an outstretched hand to seek food for themselves. This humanly good deed is also the fulfillment of one of the main God's commandments, which prescribes love for neighbors and help to everyone who needs it. It should be strictly observed throughout life, and not just on the day when someone’s death anniversary occurs.
When paying tribute to the memory of a loved one, it is also customary to visit his grave on the anniversary of his death. It is there that we most acutely feel the irreplaceability of the loss we have suffered. It is highly advisable to come to the cemetery a few days before and check whether the tombstone, cross and fence are in proper order. If something needs to be repaired or painted, it should be done immediately, and in any case, the cleaning should be done. In autumn, sweep away fallen leaves from the grave, in winter, remove snow, and in spring and summer, it is advisable to plant living seedlings.
On the anniversary of your death, you can visit the cemetery both before and after going to church. There are no rigid guidelines in this case, and everyone can do what is most convenient for them. The only exceptions can be those cases when the relatives of the deceased want a priest to serve the litiya at the grave. Usually there are churches in the territory of cemeteries where you can make such a request, and it is better to do this in advance, since the priest may have other requests on that day.
Ritual traditions that regulate the order of how to correctly remember the deceased on the anniversary of death allow for the performance of all appropriate actions without the participation of a priest. In this case, one of those present, and among them, as a rule, there are the closest relatives and friends of the deceased, can read the funeral prayers himself. They will be especially beneficial if those present begin to do this one by one. An integral part of visiting a grave is also the laying of fresh or artificial flowers and wreaths.
After reading the prayers, it is time for a short memorial meal, served right at the grave. The tradition of the Orthodox Church prescribes eating pancakes, jelly, and also kutya, which was discussed above. You can also add fruits and homemade cakes to this simple menu.
Unfortunately, during the Soviet period, when the dominance of atheistic ideology tore people away from their original church customs, standards were developed that were completely alien to true piety. One of them was the tradition of drinking alcoholic beverages at the grave, and often simply getting drunk. We can say with complete confidence that this is fundamentally contrary to church rules, and it does not matter whether the grave is visited on an ordinary day or the anniversary of death.
On the same day, it is customary to commemorate the deceased at a home meal, to which relatives are invited, as well as those who knew and loved him during his lifetime. Often one of the participants in the feast is a priest. Sometimes they rent space in a cafe or restaurant for this purpose. In order for the wake to take place in accordance with established tradition, a number of simple rules should be followed, outlined below.
The beginning of a home meal, like the one served in the cemetery, should be preceded by the same memorial prayer for the deceased. If a priest is invited to the house, then he reads, if not, then one of the relatives or several people in turn. Prayer in this case is important both for the repose of the soul of the deceased and for setting those present in a solemn mood appropriate to the given moment.
It is quite natural that every housewife tries to set as rich a table as possible, abundant various dishes, and thereby please the tastes of all those present. However, it should be taken into account that church calendar In addition to fasting days, that is, those on which there are no restrictions on the list of foods eaten, it also provides for fasts, both one-day and multi-day.
Since the wake itself is part of Orthodox tradition, then the meal menu must meet the requirements set by the church for the day on which the anniversary of the death falls. How to remember the deceased only with Lenten treats is a question that every housewife decides independently.
It is important to take into account that no matter how richly the table is set, the meal should begin with the traditional eating of the same kutya. This custom has a very specific meaning. Wheat or any other grains from which it is prepared symbolize the resurrection of the soul, and honey poured on top is the pleasure that awaits the righteous in eternal life.
One more important point associated with home meals is right choice alcoholic drinks. If their use in a cemetery is inappropriate, as discussed above, then at a home table or in a restaurant it is permissible. However, so that the memory of a dear person and his death anniversary are not overshadowed, you should remember the day of his death by taking into account the advice outlined below. This will help avoid unpleasant situations that often arise as a result of excessive libations.
To be on the safe side, it is not recommended to place strong 40-degree drinks on the table. It is better to give preference to church Cahors or some light wines. At the same time, it is necessary to ensure that even their use does not go beyond what is reasonable. Otherwise, a memorial meal can easily turn into an ordinary banquet, during which memories of the deceased will give way to laughter and fun that are inappropriate in this setting.
Scandals, swearing and showdowns are extremely unacceptable at the funeral table. It is advisable that during the entire dinner the conversation is only about the deceased, remembering various episodes from his life, and also talking about everything that he did good to people.
You can invite guests to view photographs of the deceased in the house or a video of him. Even if the deceased was not always distinguished by worthy behavior, the bad things on this day should be forgotten. Instead, the emphasis should be on all the good things he left behind.
We must not lose sight of this very significant question: what to do if the anniversary of death coincides with any of the major church holidays? How to remember - before or after, if memorial prayers are not accepted on the day of the holiday itself (for example, on Easter)? In this case, the ceremony is postponed to the next weekend or other convenient day. But even in this case, one should go to church, confess, take communion, light a candle for the repose of the soul and give alms precisely on the anniversary of death.
There is another important problem that the death anniversary (1 year) poses to the relatives of the deceased, when they have to remember people who are not baptized or of other faiths, or even suicides. Is it even possible to pray for them, and if this is permissible, then how to do it correctly?
The answer can be found in the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Colossians, where he says that for Christ “there is neither Greek, nor Jew, nor barbarian, nor Scythian...”, but all are equal for the coming Kingdom of God. Therefore, you can and should pray for all people, since for every deceased important stage his stay in the afterlife is the anniversary of his death. To remember earlier or later depends on the calendar date, as discussed above.
The only thing to consider is established rule submit memorial notes to churches only with the names of those who underwent baptism during their lifetime and did not burden themselves with the sin of suicide. For all others, you need to pray for yourself, in church and at home, in the cemetery, as well as in the place where death cut short the days of their life. One must ask the Lord to grant remission of the sins they have committed and to rest their souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Many people are concerned about the question: is it possible to celebrate the anniversary of death earlier, when it is not possible to do so on the day of death? There are a number of rules and recommendations that must be adhered to and observed during the funeral of the deceased. After all, things happen different situations, and it is not always possible to arrange a wake on time. How to do this correctly so that the newly deceased does not feel bad in the next world?
A memorial is a ritual that is performed to honor the memory of a deceased person. A social event, that is, a meal, turns out to be a kind of basis for a wake, which the relatives of the deceased arrange in his home, in a cemetery or in another place (cafes, canteens, restaurants).
Funerals are held several times:
When we're talking about about memorial tables, then devout Christians adhere to anniversaries. Commemoration in the church on days 3, 9 and 40 is based on centuries-old temple practice. For two days after death, the human soul is present on Earth and visits the places where it liked to stay during life. On the third, the soul goes to God for worship. The next week, angels show the soul the abode of saints and the splendor of heaven; on the ninth day, the soul is again led to worship God, after which it is sent to hell for 30 days.
During this time, being in the underworld shows all 9 circles and places of torment of sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends to heaven to worship God, and then the Lord decides where the soul will live until the Last Judgment.
Before burial, from the moment of repose, the Psalter is read over the body of the deceased. They continue to read it even after the funeral, until the fortieth day.
The deceased is also mentioned during the funeral service, which is supposed to be held on the third day after death. It must necessarily pass over the body of the deceased, and not in absentia, since all relatives come to the funeral: relatives, acquaintances, friends, neighbors, and their prayer is very important, it is conciliar.
You can remember the deceased not only through prayers, but also through good deeds and sacrifices.
During this period, it is possible (even necessary) to distribute clothes, shoes, and other household items of the deceased to all the needy and beggars, so that they serve a good purpose. Items must be in good condition. This can be done from the first day after the death of a person.
It often happens that the anniversary of the death of a loved one falls on a working day, when relatives are tied up with work and there is no way to prepare everything. This day may coincide with a spiritual festival; in this case, clergy necessarily recommend postponing the anniversary of the deceased a little earlier or later.
Church ministers believe that it is not at all necessary to hold a memorial dinner on the anniversary of his death. If there are any compelling reasons not to do this, then you need to rely on them first.
It is not recommended to celebrate the anniversary of death during the week of Easter and during Holy Week of Lent. During this period, all thoughts and actions should be directed to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ during Passion Week; on the week of Easter, one should rejoice at the news of the resurrection of Christ. So if the anniversary falls during these weeks, it is best to move the event to Radonitsa - the day of remembrance of the dead.
If the anniversary of death falls on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve, then the memorial should be moved to the 8th or a little later. If the fortieth day falls on Christmas, then you should order a memorial service the day before, pray for the deceased on the day itself, and then hold a wake with relatives. It’s even better that after the holiday, everyone will be in high spirits, since the wake is also dedicated to the birth, only the birth of a person into eternal life.
For this reason, it is initially necessary to order a Liturgy for the repose of the Soul of the deceased and a Memorial Service for the Day of Remembrance in the church. You should also pray for the deceased yourself. The memorial lunch or dinner can be postponed until a later date, on the nearest weekend from the anniversary of the death. Church prayer mentioning the deceased on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death is very important. This is of great importance for him, it will ease suffering after the separation of the soul from the body, it will appease the Lord, who determines the place of the soul beyond the grave according to a person’s earthly deeds.
If the anniversary falls on significant church holidays, then it is allowed to postpone it to the next weekend.
But on this day you must go to church for prayer, light a candle for the repose of your soul, donate to the needs of the temple, and give to those in need at the church gates.
In order for the funeral at the table to benefit the deceased person, it is better to do as the Savior commanded: do not invite friends, neighbors, or relatives to the meal. But when you prepare it, you should invite all those in need: the poor, the lame, the blind, the crippled. Or simply distribute a funeral dinner to socially vulnerable segments of the population on behalf of the deceased.
In Orthodox Christianity, moving the date of commemoration on the fortieth day to an earlier date is not welcomed.
It is necessary to order the Liturgy and Panikhida in the church at this time, and pray a little on your own for the newly deceased. And then, if possible, remember the deceased at home, at the funeral meal.
When changing the date of the anniversary of death, it is better to consult with a clergyman and explain the reason for the postponement. Of course, it is advisable to commemorate on the day of death, since the day before that the person was still alive, rejoicing, and happy. You can't remember him.
If it is not possible to celebrate the anniversary of death on the stated date, then it is worth moving it a few days ahead. It is not advisable to remember earlier.
On the first anniversary of the date of death, the deceased is commemorated on the same date.
The most important thing on the anniversary of death is to pray for the deceased, go to church, try to do good deeds on behalf of the deceased, mention him in notes, light candles for the repose of the soul. A memorial meal for relatives can be arranged on any day of the month convenient for everyone, a little later or earlier in the day of death.
