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» What you need to know about getting married in a church Betrothal - how is the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church

What you need to know about getting married in a church Betrothal - how is the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church

What are the goals of your couple? Answer this question sincerely for yourself: are you doing this because of fashion or is it still at the behest of your heart? After all, performing the sacrament of marriage with pure thoughts, you protect your family from evil tongues and envious eyes, from unexpected troubles and empty quarrels.

Portal Wedding.ws brings to your attention general rules weddings in Orthodox Church, as well as interesting superstitions and signs. Consider every little thing at such a crucial moment!



Wedding in Orthodoxy: a bit of history

As it turned out, the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church was held back in Russia. And if now the church seals only officially registered couples with a spiritual marriage, then it used to be the other way around: unmarried newlyweds were not recognized as a family. Ancestors believed that only before God can one become spouses.

Unfortunately, it is not realistic to track the changes in the Orthodox Church regarding the sacrament of the wedding. However, historians managed to single out two main points of the ceremony: the laying of marriage crowns on the heads of the spouses and the use of marriage covers on the territory Byzantine Empire. The crown and cover are a symbol of the holy faith in the Almighty.

tradition to keep wedding candles appeared only in the X-XI centuries. In the same period, the ceremony began with the words “Christ is crowning”, but already in the 13th century there appeared new tradition include in the ceremony the words "The servant of God is getting married."


wedding rules

Not only newlyweds, but also guests should follow the rules established by the church. If you doubt their knowledge in this matter, take care and provide loved ones with the necessary information.


In most churches, the sacrament lasts about an hour. And, as a rule, the newlyweds and guests are forced to stand throughout the ceremony. Think about your loved ones, and tell them not only how to behave in the temple, but also think about how to entertain the guests who will be waiting for you outside the walls of the church.



What is needed for a church wedding: a complete list

To conduct the ceremony, a number of things are necessary, without which the sacrament simply will not take place.

So, what do you need to get married in the church:


You can buy the necessary components separately or purchase at the church shop ready kit for the sacrament. Everything listed above is necessary for a church wedding, even if you have been married for a long time.

All about the wedding in signs

There is persistent debate about how much it is worth listening to the signs regarding the church. Some insist that the church and superstitions categorically cannot intersect, others are sure that such signs did not appear from scratch. Which side will you take?


Good signs associated with the wedding:





Superstitions to watch out for:

  1. Meeting of the funeral procession;
  2. The strong crackling of wedding candles is a sign of a troubled married life;
  3. If a crown fell from the head of one of the newlyweds, then he will soon become a widow.

After the wedding in the church, according to all the rules, it is necessary to keep all paraphernalia (candles, towels, handkerchiefs, etc.), it is important that it be kept in the house of the spouses and be hidden from prying eyes. Otherwise, next time you can visit the church for the purpose

Getting married is a big event that requires serious preparation. More and more young people decide not only to sign, but also to get married in a church. How does it happen, what is needed, how to prepare properly?

Although the rite is very beautiful, it is not the outward brilliance that is its purpose. The church considers marriage one of my mysteries so believers should take it seriously. It is necessary to get married only with full confidence that the whole life will be devoted to the chosen one (chosen one).

What is a wedding for?

Two believers become not just a family, but small church Christ. It is created in order for people to support each other, raise children in Orthodox faith. Maintaining piety over the years is no easy task. That is why crowns are used during the ceremony. After all, they symbolize martyrdom - the rejection of own desires, whims in the name of the good of others.

Christ the Savior in the Gospel does not often speak of family life. But the first miracle he performed happened during the wedding feast. Obviously, the feast was held by people who were not very rich, since they did not have enough wine. But it was the height of fun, to announce that there was no wine meant to bring shame on the whole family. And the Lord comes to the aid of the young, turning water into wine. Thus He shows that an honest marriage is pleasing higher powers.

Obstacles for a wedding, how to choose a day

Intending to enter into a church marriage, it should be remembered that, according to the canonical rules, “debunking” does not exist. However, in practice, divorce today is a common thing even in the church environment. However, you cannot marry more than three times in the temple. The bride and groom must be baptized and legally married at the registry office.

There are other restrictions.

If prior consent has been obtained from the priest, you can choose the day. This should be done together with the clergyman, he knows all the subtleties. The sacrament can be performed only on certain days: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday. It is forbidden to hold a ceremony during long ones, there are four of them a year:

  • Great (before Easter - he is the only one who is passing);
  • Petrov;
  • Uspensky;
  • Christmas.

An Orthodox person should devote this time to correction, contrition for sins. They will not perform the sacrament also on Bright Week, Maslenitsa, Christmas time. It is forbidden to get married on the days of some holidays - it is better to find out about this from the rector.

What will be required

For those who are far from church life, it is important the question of the cost of the ceremony. Each church will be different. Somewhere they may not take money at all, especially if their own parishioners decide to marry. You will have to pay only for the choir, dress, necessary ritual items (more on that below). In some churches, the price is determined independently, in others there is a "price list". First you need to choose a place, then specify how much money you need. But in general, the sacrament will cost many times cheaper than the usual "civil" wedding. That is why they are often held on the same day.

  • It is not necessary for the priest to lay the table. For him, rituals are part of service. The time of the parish minister is usually scheduled by the minute, the priest will have no time to sit festive table. Yes, this is not entirely appropriate.

Since the wedding is a church ceremony, appropriate paraphernalia will be required. The bride and groom must wear pectoral crosses.

  • The rings are chosen to the taste of the newlyweds - they are sold in church shops with prayers, crosses, etc. Before the start of the ceremony, they must be given to the priest for consecration.
  • Parents should bless the young with the help of the images of Jesus Christ and the Mother of God. Previously, they were inherited, today they are most often bought new. You can purchase a special wedding pair.
  • Wedding candles - young people light them during the ceremony. Usually these are long twisted candles made specifically for special occasion. You will also need a towel on which the bride and groom stand during prayers. Traditionally he white color. Everything you need can be bought right at the temple.

Priests usually ask that guests and witnesses look decent - there should not be bare shoulders and knees. This also applies to the bride. If the dress is open, you should add a cape. A veil is also obligatory, and for other women - headscarves.

About shooting, ministers can offer their own master. He will know well the procedure during the ceremony, will be able to capture everything key points. The temples have special rules of conduct, the photographer must know them well. Yes, and shooting is carried out only in motion, you can’t ask the priest to stop in order to “catch” a good angle.

rite

It is impossible to say in advance exactly how long the wedding in the church lasts - it depends on the priest, singers, and other participants in the ceremony. Approximately 40 minutes to 2 hours. This must be taken into account when planning the start time of subsequent events (usually after the temple everyone goes to a banquet).

The rite itself is very beautiful, has ancient roots. First, a betrothal is held near the entrance. Previously, it was held separately, about a month before the wedding. Now, for the convenience of people, everything is done on the same day. In the process of betrothal, candles are given to the young, then they exchange rings.

Then the bride and groom go to the middle of the temple, stand near the lectern, behind the priest. Guests should be at some distance so as not to interfere with the movements of the priest and his assistant.

Witnesses during the ceremony should hold the crowns over the heads of the young. It is physically quite difficult, so you should choose people who are strong and of sufficient height.

  • Previously, witnesses played a special role - they were guaranteed before God that the young were ready for marriage, they were their spiritual mentors. As a rule, these were mature people, already married, having children. Today, such people are not so easy to find witnesses, so their presence is rather a tradition.

Several times during the sacrament, the priest will turn to the young with questions in turn. They need to be answered Church Slavonic, so the answers should be learned in advance (it's not just "yes" or "no").

The bride and groom are allowed to drink wine from the same cup- this symbolizes their future common life. During the Sacrament, it will be necessary to mentally pray, when necessary, to make the sign of the cross. You can get married, but you don’t understand the whole meaning of this ceremony. After all, he is, first of all, spiritual. Therefore, it should not be carried out only for the sake of beautiful pictures.

Church preparation

Before you get married, you need to make some other church rites. As a rule, they are advised to go a couple of days before the ceremony. Both the bride and groom must visit the confessor. After all, to call on God's help for new family only with a pure heart. After that, you need to defend in order to take communion.

For church-going people, attending the sacraments will not be something unusual. And if young people rarely go to the temple, then they will have to try. It is necessary to read the required number of prayers, to do a lot of spiritual work. But this is a great opportunity to delve deeper into the Christian life.

On the wedding day itself, avoid plentiful libations, violent fun, especially quarrels. And in the temple you need to behave appropriately: you can’t talk, be distracted, this prevents others from concentrating on the essence of what is happening. This also applies to guests. It is indecent to walk around the temple, turn your back to the icons, laugh. In a similar way, disrespect is shown not only to believers who really pray, but also to God himself. Indeed, at the moment when the priest reads prayers for the young, he asks them for a blessing for the rest of their lives.

The decision to marry should be taken by the young unanimously and consciously. They must understand that marriage is a service to the Lord, a joint fulfillment of His will. You should not go to the temple at the behest of your parents or because of fashion. Only with mutual agreement to spend the whole life together can God's blessing on marriage be received. Otherwise, it will be just a beautiful rite.

The wedding ceremony appeared more than two thousand years ago, along with the birth of Christianity. Previously, for it to be held, the bride and groom had to notify their priest in advance. After that, he communicated the message to the parishioners, and if there were no objections, then the young people were admitted to the wedding. Today, such consent is not required, the desire of the couple is enough, but the traditions of the ritual itself are carefully honored and performed from century to century. The Svadbagolik.ru portal will tell you how to prepare for the wedding and what happens during the ceremony.

How is the wedding procedure

In accordance with how the wedding takes place in the church, the whole further spiritual life of the couple is formed.

The very sacrament of church marriage begins with betrothal. After finishing special service bride and groom become different sides altar, right and left, respectively. Witnesses line up in the same way, the man on the right, the woman on the left. Then the priest blesses the young people three times and brings them two special wedding candles, which symbolize the happy meeting of the couple. If the wedding for one of the spouses is not the first time, then the candles do not participate in the ceremony.


After that, the priest pronounces the necessary words, overshadows the groom with the sign of the cross and puts on his ring finger right hand wedding ring. Then he does the same with the bride. Note that the words of the priest at the wedding are strictly regulated and determined by the church canon.


The betrothal ritual ends with a three-time exchange of rings by the young as a sign of unanimity and love. The rings themselves, until the moment of betrothal, are on the altar, on its right side, then the deacon takes them out on a special tray.


After the betrothal comes the wedding itself. In the Orthodox Church, it takes place in part the same way as the Catholic wedding, but with greater rigor and regimentation. The priest takes the crown in his hands as a sign of Eternal Life (hence the name of the rite), crosswise overshadows the groom with it and allows him to kiss the image of the Savior attached to the front of the crown. The bride is blessed in exactly the same way, only she needs to venerate the image Holy Mother of God.


The wedding process then requires the couple to stand on a large white or pink handkerchief spread out on the floor, which signifies the purity of married life. Being on it, they confirm before those present and God the voluntariness of their intention to create a married couple.


At the end of the wedding, the bride and groom are presented with a bowl of red wine, symbolizing the common fate of the couple with all its joys and sorrows. The priest reads a prayer over her, baptizes her three times and passes it on to the young. They take turns drinking all the wine in three steps, after which their right hands are joined, covered with stole. According to the laws of the wedding in the Orthodox Church, after this, the priest circles the young people three times around the lectern as a symbol of a new married life.

At the end of the solemn procession, the crowns are removed from the bride and groom, and the priest welcomes the new married couple, who have made an alliance in the face of God. Each of the newlyweds kisses the icons of the Savior and Mother of God at royal doors(doors that lead to the altar). Finally, the ceremony is considered completed, the newly-made couple receives two icons as a gift and accepts public congratulations on the start of a new life.


What does the father say during the wedding?

wedding regulations Orthodox tradition involves a set of obligatory words of the priest addressed to the young. In accordance with the procedures at the time of the wedding, for each of them the Orthodox Church has its own message:


How long does the preparation last and does the wedding ceremony itself take place in the church?

The duration of the preparatory period depends only on the newlyweds themselves. During this time, they will have to purchase everything they need for the wedding, get acquainted with the priest who will conduct the ceremony and tell you how to celebrate the wedding and choose an outfit.


The rites of betrothal and wedding in the church themselves last as long as it takes to step by step complete all of the above procedures. As a rule, this happens within forty minutes to one hour.

According to the requirements of some priests, couples are required to fully defend the service in the morning and take communion. Only after that they are allowed to be engaged and married. In this case, the procedure can take up to five hours. How to celebrate the wedding ritual, and whether it is worth doing it at all, the newlyweds already decide on their own, there are no clear rules on this matter.


A wedding in the Orthodox tradition is a very responsible ceremony, which has its own clear rules and dramaturgy. The portal site is sure that after going through it, you make an alliance before God and give rise to a happy family.

A church wedding is a sacred rite of the seven sacraments, during which the lover transfers himself, his desires, thoughts and aspirations into the hands of his beloved. A church wedding imposes obligations to protect the family, which each of the spouses must fulfill. In the church, young people receive a blessing for a happy family life and procreation. Church wedding rules do not have legal force, so their observance depends only on the spouses. It is an obligation to keep the sacred bonds of marriage, not allowing the influence of vain passions that destroy love - the spiritual foundation of the family. church wedding cost different cities differ from each other. AT major cities, such as Moscow, St. Petersburg, Kazan and other capitals of Russian regions church wedding price slightly higher than in small towns.

Church wedding rules

It needs to be said about What do you need for a church wedding?. As a rule, the modern wedding ceremony allows the presence of relatives and friends. Parental blessing is no longer required, what do you need for a wedding was several centuries ago. Beginning in the fourth century, marriage was not considered legal without parental approval.

The rite consists of two stages. The first is the betrothal, and the second is the actual wedding. At the betrothal, the deacon takes out wedding rings on a tray. The priest gives the newlyweds candles. The priest puts one wedding ring on the ring finger of the groom's right hand, and then the newlyweds exchange rings three times, symbolizing that they are transferring themselves to each other's power.

Now it's time for the wedding. The priest marks the crowns of the bride and groom and gives them to kiss the images of the Savior and the Most Holy Theotokos. The sacrament of the wedding means that the newlyweds become king and queen for each other. After that, the newlyweds can return to the house, where their parents meet them with bread and salt, blessing the marriage with icons.

What should be done before the wedding?

Worth talking about what to do before marriage. First of all, it is necessary to start the wedding sincere and clean before each other. Honesty and frankness are the key to the strength of family ties. Only then will the wedding be performed for the good of the soul, and all the prayers offered in the temple will bring good gifts. Previously, only those who remained chaste were allowed to get married, and today the Church requires repentance from those who sinned before marriage. After communion and confession, a ceremony can be performed before a priest.

We should also not forget that a wedding without faith is unlikely to be beneficial. Unfortunately, in modern world wedding is often just a tribute to fashion, losing holiness and sacrament.

The first thing to do before the wedding is to choose a place and time for the ceremony. Many churches offer pre-registration. If this is not possible, you can issue a receipt for the ceremony on the wedding day. In this case, it is impossible to determine the exact time, but it is possible to agree on a wedding ceremony by a specific priest, which is very important for many couples.

When and how to get married?

According to the canons of the Russian Orthodox Church, weddings cannot be held during Lent, Easter week, Christmas time, as well as on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Accordingly, every year the calendar of days allowed for the ceremony changes. It is better to specify the date in advance in the temple, church shop or on Internet resources.

On the eve of the wedding, from midnight, you can’t eat anything, you can’t drink and smoke, and refrain from sexual relations. In the temple, the newlyweds partake of the Holy Mysteries, confess and pray. After that, you can change into wedding clothes. So what do you need for a wedding?

  • comfortable shoes that are easy to stand for several hours in a row;
  • headdress for the bride;
  • pectoral crosses for newlyweds;
  • wedding rings, which should be given to the priest in advance so that he can consecrate them by placing them on the Throne. Previously, the wife's ring was silver, and the husband's ring was gold. The gold symbolized the sun, the light of which was the husband in the family, and the silver symbolized the moon, the wife, shining in the light reflected by the sun. For a modern wedding, as a rule, they buy the same rings;
  • a piece of white linen (you can use a towel) on which the young will stand.

What else you should know about the wedding ceremony:

  • parents and relatives should come, if not to the liturgy, then already at the beginning of the wedding;
  • every married couple should have best men - witnesses who hold crowns over the heads of the young. As a rule, the best men are young strong baptized men;
  • photography and video filming in the church is prohibited, it is better to limit yourself to one general photo on the street in front of the church after the ceremony.

The cost of a wedding in a church can change if the couple wants to get married separately from the rest of the newlyweds who are getting married on that day. AT weekdays this probability is usually less than on weekends. The price also increases if this is not the first marriage for one of the spouses. In any case, it is better to go to the church in advance and find out what the price of the wedding in the church is.

The rite of the wedding ceremony in the form in which it exists now developed back in the 1st century AD, that is, at the time of the birth of Christianity.

But church marriage was then performed after the liturgy - the most important Christian service, and today it is customary to conduct a wedding as an independent action.

The purpose of the ceremony is to take an oath of allegiance before God, seal your union with God's blessing and receive a blessing for the birth and upbringing of future children.

The first part of the sacrament - betrothal

It aims to inspire the newlyweds with all the importance of the sacrament of marriage, to arouse in their hearts awe and reverence for this event.

Blessing

Initially, the "new brides" are in the vestibule - an extension in front of the entrance to the temple, which is usually separated from the temple itself by a wall with a doorway. The groom stands on the right, the bride on the left, both turn to face the altar.

Wedding rings are placed in advance on the throne in the altar and are there during the liturgy. When the wedding ceremony begins, the deacon, following the priest, takes them out on a special tray.

The priest, depicting Jesus Christ at this moment, approaches the newlyweds (they, in turn, are equated with the primordial forefathers Adam and Eve, who begin a new and holy life in a pure marriage), holding in their hands two burning candles - a symbol of purity and chastity.

He blesses the groom three times and the bride three times, repeating: “In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” (the young people are baptized each time), passes candles to them (or does not pass them if one of those entering into marriage is married not the first time).

The blessing ends with cruciform incense, which speaks of invisible presence at the sacrament of the grace of the Holy Spirit.

betrothal

After the blessing, the priest leads the newlyweds to the center of the temple.

Taking groom ring, he repeats three times: “The servant of God (name) is betrothed to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit”, each time making the sign of the cross over the groom’s head, and then puts on his wedding ring on the ring finger of his right hand. By the way, on which hand do representatives of various faiths wear rings.

The priest performs the same actions with bride's ring, repeating three times: “The servant of God (name) is betrothed to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Ring exchange

The newlyweds exchange their rings three times, thus expressing consent and unanimity and promising to give themselves to each other for life. The priest himself can change the rings.
During the ceremony, he also turns to the Almighty several times with a prayer, asking the Lord to bless the young and approve the betrothal.

How is the wedding ceremony performed?

Conclusion of a natural marriage, or free union

The purpose of this stage is the confirmation by the bride and groom of the voluntary and indestructible intention to enter into marriage.

On the lectern (the so-called high rectangular table with a sloping top, which usually stands in front of the iconostasis in the middle of the temple and is used during worship) are the Gospel - symbol of the presence of Christ, the cross is a sign of his love, as well as crowns. In front of the lectern, a scarf of white or Pink colour- a symbol of purity and unity of life in marriage.

The bride and groom with lit candles in their hands follow the priest with a censer (just as will follow all the commandments of the Lord), stand on this board and confirm in front of the minister of the church and all those who came to the ceremony that they the decision to enter into legal marriage is voluntary and indestructible, and that none of them had previously made a promise to any third party to marry him.

Chin of wedding

The most important and crucial moment throughout the wedding ceremony.

After reading three prayers addressed to Jesus Christ and the Triune Lord, and asking them for all the possible worldly and spiritual blessings for the young, the father takes crown, baptizes the groom with it, after which he must kiss the image of Christ, located on the front of the crown.

At the same time, the priest says: “The servant of God (name) is married to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Then the same priest blesses the bride, allowing her to kiss the image of the Most Holy Theotokos on a crown three times and saying: “The servant of God (name) is married to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

After the father reads three times secret prayer, each time blessing the newlyweds with a priestly blessing: "Lord, our God, crown them with glory and honor."

Crowns meant for the young symbolize the crowns of the Kingdom of God- eternal life, they remind of the crown of thorns once put on the head of Jesus Christ by tormentors, and also mean that in marriage, husband and wife should be one for the other like king and queen.

After reading fragments of the epistles of the Holy Apostles and the Gospel, in which the union of the newlyweds is compared with the union of Christ and the church, the priest calls on the newlyweds and all those present to read the prayer “Our Father” together.

In token of devotion to the Lord and obedience the young must bow their heads under the crowns.

The common bowl, or the bowl of fellowship

The priest brings wine to the newlyweds in one bowl.

Red wine symbolizes true love into which, in the upcoming family life, young people must turn the truth of their feelings, compared with pure fresh water: as wine becomes better year by year, so love should become deeper and fuller.

And the single bowl is symbol of the common destiny of the young. The bride and groom three times and alternately drink wine in small sips.

Procession around the lectern

The priest connects the right hands of the young, covering them with an epitrachelion - a long ribbon that goes around his neck and descends to his chest with both ends. From above, he puts his hand, as if from church faces passing wife to husband.

Without separating his hands, the priest circles the young people around the lectern three times.

Then the priest says: “Receive their crowns in Your Kingdom” and, reading the solemn prayer “Be exalted, bridegroom, like Abraham”, removes the crowns from the head of the bride and groom, and they should kiss chastely, testifying to the holiness and purity of mutual love.

At the royal gates, the groom must kiss the icon of the Savior, and the bride - the image of the Mother of God.

The newlyweds change places and again kiss the icon and the crucifix, and the priest hands them two icons that the relatives of the newlyweds gave him in advance: for the groom - the image of the Savior, for the bride - the image of the Most Holy Theotokos.

The wedding ends with the proclamation of many years to the newlyweds and congratulations from the guests.

How long does a church wedding take?

The entire rite lasts a total of about 40-50 minutes and is usually performed after the Divine Liturgy - between 11.00 and 13.00.

Who should not get married and when

The ceremony is possible only if certain conditions are met:

  • Wedding sacraments are allowed only after registration of marriage in the registry office. However, if the church recognizes the circumstances preventing this as valid and serious, an exception may be made for people who wish to marry.
  • In the Christian wedding ceremony can take part only believing baptized Orthodox Christians. Otherwise, a person does not have the right to be a participant in church sacraments.

Other restrictions include the following:

  • a significant difference in age (in this case, you must first obtain special permission from the bishop);
  • consanguinity up to the fourth degree;
  • marriage between step-relatives, between consanguineous (that is, having a common father) and uterine (having a common mother) brother and sister.
  • According to church calendar, the wedding is not held on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays; in the days preceding the twelfth and great feasts, as well as the patronal temple days; during Christmas time and multi-day fasts (Veliky, Petrov, Uspensky, Rozhdestvensky), and in addition, on September 10, 11, 26 and 27.

Preparing for the wedding

So that the sacrament takes place in accordance with all the canons, and certain moments are not a surprise for someone, it is worth preparing for the ceremony in advance

  • Preliminary acquaintance with the clergy of the temple and the choice of "one's own" priest. It is better to ask him all the questions that concern you in advance and clarify important details.
  • Early Booking- 2-3 weeks before the wedding. It is necessary to discuss with the priest not only the date, but also a specific time. Don't forget to include this item in .
  • Preparing the wedding dress. This moment should be approached especially responsibly, since church canons impose certain requirements on the color and cut of the wedding dress.
  • Buying Attributes required for the ceremony. This includes icons, wedding candles, a towel, wedding rings, etc. What icons are needed for a wedding and it is better to clarify in advance and then discuss with the priest.
  • spiritual preparation. The decision to get married in a church should be balanced and conscious. The bride and groom, who are about to go to the altar, should prepare mentally. Firstly, they must understand that a marriage sanctified in the church cannot be dissolved arbitrarily, and breaking the vow of fidelity is an absolute sin. Secondly, on the eve of the wedding young people to confess and take communion, in advance - 3-4 days in advance - having prepared for these sacraments through fasting, that is, through the feat of fasting, prayer, repentance and communion. In some cases, young people are allowed to confess and take communion on the wedding day immediately before the wedding.