The problem is probably common, but for every person it probably seems the most important and scary. I am 30 years old and my wife is 23 years old. We've been married for 5 years and dated for about a year. The first years were great. We lived in Moscow and rented an apartment. She studied in absentia in Rostov. She lived there with her parents. The first time I supported us, she is a smart girl and after a while she found a job and started working. It became easier for us.
Many men think that it is impossible to return their beloved wife if she firmly says that there are no more relationships, and you will never be together again. In fact, you can return your wife! And even an ex-wife after a divorce can also be returned.
There is a fundamental difference between the departure of a wife and the departure of a husband. For any man, the treacherous departure of his wife is always a crushing blow to pride.
There are many techniques that help people improve their memory. But are there techniques that would help men forget their ex-wives? To put it simply, how do you stop those terrible memories when you're trying to move on from the trauma of divorce?
This is because memories don't go anywhere, and they can easily come back when you feel vulnerable. Therefore, try to maintain your psychological health, try to move away from them.
Forgetting a wife is harder than forgetting a girlfriend. After all, most likely, not only the years spent together are connected with his wife, but also children, mutual acquaintances. And no matter how you hide from it, you will always receive reminders of it.
You will have to constantly be on your guard and keep everything connected with her close, and if something slips somewhere, then push the pain away and try to forget the former.
There are a variety of formulas for how to forget your ex-wife. Recently, having re-read them all, I saw that many of them are so imperfect that if I publish another one on my website “The Black Witch Olga”, nothing fatal will happen. Yes, and I promise that my formula will not be a repetition of what has already been published, nor its compilation, due to which you can get a completely different look at solving the problem of how to forget your wife.
Think about why you are so eager to forget your ex-wife? What did she mean to you? Why did your relationship end so sadly? It happens that a man tries to forget his former love only because he still has tender feelings for her, but he understands with his head that his wife can no longer be returned. Or, on the contrary, unpleasant memories are associated with the ex-wife of a representative of the strong half of humanity. For example, she left him, having thrown a scandal, insulted and expressed a lot of bad things.
Breakups are inevitable, just as the pain they cause is inevitable. It is not easy to cope with it, many people cannot master themselves for a long time, having survived a breakup.
This article will discuss what a young man should do if a girl left him, and he feels that his soul is yearning for her, that he only needs her. But at the same time comes the understanding that the beloved cannot be returned. And the only important question for him remains: how to forget his girlfriend?
Men experience separation no less painfully than women, but it is easier for the weaker sex to cope with their pain.
Breaking up a relationship, even on your own initiative, can lead to serious psychological consequences for you. This is not surprising, because past relationships are a certain stage in your life that could not but leave a mark on it. However, after a divorce, your life continues, so you need to say goodbye to the past. Let's talk about how to forget a husband or how to forget a wife after a divorce?
The situation is this. She divorced me, explaining that they did not agree on the characters (they were married for 10 years). There is a joint child. We haven't lived together for a year. But. I can never forget her. It hurts me very much that she has a young man, I go crazy with jealousy, I wake up every morning with the thought of her and that she is not alone and this goes on all the time that we are not together. I have a girlfriend, who is married to evil, it seems that she has feelings for her, but this does not help.
Most divorce topics are about women. Therefore, it seems that men do not need support at all. It is the fair sex that is considered to be the victim of divorce, and it is women who, in most cases, are the initiators of divorce.
It is believed that in a divorce situation, it is the man who is the guilty party, since the responsibility for an unsuccessful marriage falls entirely on him.
22.12.2013, 21:04
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5 main reasons why a man does not forget his wife
There are a variety of formulas for how to forget your ex-wife. Recently, having re-read them all, I saw that many of them are so imperfect that if I publish another one on my website “The Black Witch Olga”, nothing fatal will happen. Yes, and I promise that my formula will not be a repetition of what has already been published, nor its compilation, due to which you can get a completely different look at solving the problem of how to forget your wife. And not just a “look”, but a really working method.
Let's start with the reasons that do not allow a man to forget his ex-wife, the main of which are only 5. And they will be given according to their importance - from the largest, as expected, to the smallest:
1. Disbelief in yourself.
Having lived for several years in marriage (and any endocrinologist and psychologist who get together will confirm this to you), a man goes through an involuntary decrease in hormonal levels, explained solely by the fact that they no longer need to “hunt”, maintaining in themselves the constantly high motivation of a fighter for the right to continue his kind of male. Having acquired a wife, he no longer hunts females, as a result of which he loses his masculinity, and therefore enters the post-divorce state literally castrated harmonically.
In addition, a man in marriage loses his skills in caring for women, and therefore necessarily fails, doing this the first, second, third time after a divorce. These failures, multiplied by the lack of self-confidence, which is a consequence of low hormonal levels, lead to the loss of a man’s faith in himself, mistakenly starting to believe that the abandoned person has only one way to regain a full-fledged personal and sexual life - to persuade his wife to return.
2. Love.
Even after the destruction of a marriage that has lived for 5, 17 and even more years, love is the second most important reason that makes men suffer, not understanding how to forget a wife, even if she gave them. But it is not surprising, because for so many years people, even with the coolest relationships, become much more to each other than lovers or parents of common children. They turn into kindred spirits who understand each other perfectly. And therefore, losing his real wife, a man falls into depression, believing that no other woman will give him such spiritual kinship. I think, to be honest, it's wrong!
3. Feeling of betrayal.
A detailed psychological constraint is characteristic of all egoists who, after a breakup, consider that they are too good, kind, caring, hypersexual, sympathetic, patient, financially secure to be abandoned. Such an underestimation of their personal qualities inflicts such a deep spiritual blow on egoists that almost immediately it turns into an obsession, forcing them to constantly return to thoughts about the ingratitude of their ex-wife for years, and mental attempts to prove to her how wrong she was.
4. Feeling of unfulfilled destiny.
This reason is observed in men with a developed consciousness, capable of reading information from their karma. That is why they KNOW that the departure of his wife was a real tragedy, violating their personal working off of karma, which (and this is a mistake), they could work out only with “this woman”. In fact, I, the black witch Olga, I guarantee: if the Higher Forces want you to really work out karmic tasks, then, believe me, in the very near future they will select a woman for you, a relationship with which will allow you to continue your inner work.
5. Humiliation.
Well, the most stupid of men cannot forget their departed spouse, considering themselves humiliated. It is the trampled pride that has been tormenting them for years, forcing them to be suspicious or openly disdainful of all other women - potential traitors. And poison your mind with the endless construction of plans for the most terrible revenge, which - and this is great! - never destined to come true.
All the causes that torment the men left by their wives cause them a lot of pain. And therefore it is not surprising that almost all of them, tired of suffering, eventually think about how to forget their wife. But to do that, we need to talk about it first.
How to forget an ex-wife who left due to financial instability
For men, who by their very nature are set to wake up everywhere and in everything, the question of how to forget a wife who left them because of a small or irregular income is sometimes insoluble. However, it is still not worth getting hung up on him - there will always be a woman who will consider a man even with an insignificant marriage to be the ideal breadwinner. Yes, and I strongly recommend not to forget that more and more women do not see anything terrible, that they will earn more than their lovers or husbands, and therefore if such relationships do not personally humiliate you, feel free to enter into them.
Well, if you nevertheless realized that the former was right, reproaching you for being unable to earn good money, then pull your finger out of your nose, and your head out of the place where you have been warming it for the past few years, and start working. After all, the formula for how to forget your wife, clearing your mind of memories of her for such men is very simple - the more money you earn, the less you grieve about your spouse who left you because you could not do this while living with her.
How to forget an ex-wife who constantly reminds of herself
Sometimes the ex herself does not give the opportunity to forget about her. like a real energy vampire, she constantly calls, initiates supposedly random meetings, leaves messages on social networks. Often she does this because she wants to keep her abandoned spouse as an alternate airfield, fearing that her new life might suddenly not work out. But much more often (and this is what the black witch Olga tells you, who is not in vain considered a great connoisseur of women's souls), the former do not break ties with the husbands they have left in order to torment them. Or, if you like, revenge. “You know how disgusted I was with you. Now look how good I am!" And how to forget your wife with such moral persecution?
There is only one way - to abandon the intention to meekly wait if they really do not let you go, fearing not to find someone better than you. Allow yourself to have a choice when the wife does decide to return. Find that one - dating sites to help you !!! - a relationship with which will allow you not to succumb to impulse, and not to get along with a woman who has already betrayed you once.
If you are trying to figure out how to forget your ex-wife, who is taking revenge on you with constant messages about her material, career, personal or sexual successes, don’t sit sluggishly blinking like a fish either! Feel free to enter the war, remembering that you can only win it if you really are better than your ex-wife! And may you not buy a million in the next few years, or go on vacation to Baden-Baden. An ever-growing collection of "here's me - your ex - with another new girlfriend" photos will be more than effective in getting your ex to let go of you.
How to forget about a spouse who left for another man
This is the most difficult thing for almost all men without exception - how to forget a wife who has gone to another man. I read that many men's sites offer to go to the gym, and then "beat the opponent in the snot." Women's sites are less radical, though their advice is no less stupid, since they offer meditations from the series "I'm still better than him." The black witch Olga advises you to resort to magical revenge - contact me for inducing impotence on an opponent, or incurable frigidity on your wife. Or both at once, acting on the principle - to each his own.
I assure you, as soon as you do this, and the problem of the fact that your wife left you for someone else's bed will instantly cease to disturb and excite. After all, the experience of hundreds of my clients who have already used a similar ritual proves that there is no better way to forget an ex-wife who left in search of better sex than to deprive her of the joy for which she betrayed you.
How not to suffer, communicating with his wife in the presence of common children
In such a case, which causes a feeling of doom for everyone who is trying to understand how to forget his wife, with whom he constantly has to communicate, I, the black witch Olga, can only advise one thing: Humble yourself, you will never be together again! Refuse to build relationships of "friends", "buddies", "people who respect each other in a hopeless situation." Transfer your love to your children. Communicate with your wife in the same way as you would communicate with a teacher in a kindergarten or a classroom teacher with your children - with respect, but without coquetry, with the consent to listen, but without the obligation to listen and take in sight.
And now let me remind you that there is a really reliable way to forget your ex-wife - to apply. And then, with the help of strong magic, I will clear your memory. After that, you will treat the ex-wife as if there were no scandals, quarrels and betrayals. As if she is for you - just one of the 3 billion women living with you on the same earth - no one.
Life is turned upside down, the usual way of life collapses! It's scary to plan for the future, it hurts to make plans. It is especially difficult when parting is not a mutual decision. How to forget the wife you love when everything around her reminds you?
At the time of leaving, it is difficult to analyze, to understand the reasons. There is no point in blaming anyone for what happened. Even if the beloved is gone, changed. She said a lot of bad words in the end. Don't get bogged down with useless questions. Remember where the mistake was made. Imagine her in bed with another.
You can not use common children as a means of pressure, an object of extracting information about a spouse. There are situations when a child painfully recalls the past, causing pain and suffering. A caring father realizes that feelings will subside, emotions will pass. It is necessary to understand how to quickly forget the ex-wife, look for ways to protect the vulnerable heart of the child.
To start a new life, the first thing to do is end the old one forever. In one go! Each impulse of the nervous system, the gyrus in the head, the cell of the body must be aware - it will not be the same as before. Many years of marriage, joint trips, common photo albums, a video recording of a wedding celebration - it was a wonderful time, no one takes it away. It's good that it was. It's over. They remember him, but do not try to return him. This is the road to nowhere.
How can a man forget his ex-wife if time has passed, but the pain remains? You can't start a new chapter without a lock on the previous one. It doesn't hurt to take a step back, to find the beginning of the end.
Signs of betrayal
When time passes slowly, people relax. They don't see the obvious. Ignore the signs of the imminent end. To such a guy, a breakup announcement feels like a knife in the back. If he were more attentive to his wife, he could replace the changes. Avoid a situation where you do not know how to forget your ex-wife after a divorce.
A smart move for a guy who realizes that his spouse is cheating is to report a guess. Conversation with a girl without scandal. It will be easier to quickly forget your wife after a divorce if you become the initiator. Experiences about the collapse of family happiness will remain, the feeling of betrayal will be weaker. Dignity, awareness of decisiveness will be preserved. The banal resentment of an abandoned person is excluded.
Sometimes the reason lies at the base of the union. When the wrong person is initially chosen. Marriages are often entered into thoughtlessly. When there is only crazy sex, emotions. After a while, feelings cool down, the spouse is disappointed in the satellite. It turns out that he is financially unstable, a slob at home, inattentive, and abusing alcohol. Children can hold the union for a while.
In order for a man to forget his ex-wife, he must understand that the reason is not in him. He is not a loser, mattress, deadhead. He chose a companion who interferes with development, does not motivate for exploits, does not support morally. And at home it doesn’t build a cozy nest, it doesn’t create a reliable rear. A place where you want to return. Therefore, the guy does not shine with financial success, does not perform feats in bed. For a woman who understands, supports, mountains will turn over.
There are two main reasons:
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The main advice that is given to an abandoned man is to take care of himself. Fix bugs, fix bugs. Earn money, remove bad habits, develop sexual skill.
It is important to understand the mindsets. There is a technique that helps eliminate treacherous thoughts. In accordance with it, the moment is established when love for a spouse turned into a painful attachment. When he got it into his head that a girl is as necessary as air.
Persuasion needs to be analyzed, rethought. Try to remember the key joint events, take a detached look. Through the eyes of an outsider. Recognize the ordinary.
At the next stage, the attitude towards the spouse is rethought. She is no longer close, dear half. To a stranger, people do not experience dependent emotions. Their problems are forgotten in a minute. They wish you a good day, joke about the weather on duty. Strangers - colleagues, neighbors, a kindergarten teacher, an unfamiliar grandfather on a bench. The fate of these people does not excite strangers. Are they going through a breakup, deserve a promotion at work.
The ex-wife goes into this social category. Her personal life, successes, failures should not be of interest. This is how addiction works. Please note that joint children are not subject to sanctions. Nobody divorced them. They are still relatives, loved ones, even if they stayed to live with their spouse.
Getting started with settings is painful. It hurts to remember, realizing that everything is over. The list or letter method helps a lot. They write out on paper in a column or in the form of a confession:
You need to realize that the husband himself pushed the girl away. Accept this fact, do not blame yourself. This therapy allows you to visually see the errors. Designate behavior in the future with a new companion.
To quickly forget a wife after a divorce, a visualization method is used. First you need to relax. Clear your mind of thoughts. Present photographs of the past. Get to the present moment. Continue to imagine in photographs the destruction of attachment. See the fix.
It would be useful to see the current situation through the prism of pluses and minuses. On paper, divided into two parts, write out the positive and negative points of parting:
Approximate example:
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It's good to have friends and family who support you. Giving smart advice on how to forget your wife after a divorce is not necessary. It is enough to be around, try to distract, offer ways to switch. Sign up for a sports section together, go fishing, go on a multi-day hike. Go to a night club, heartily skip half the salary. Show your friend ways to experience happiness. To force to see that it is possible without a wife.
Gradually, emotions will subside. Love will go away, the desire to live on will come. Memories stop hurting. People who managed to suppress addiction in a past life successfully build new families. Advanced people calmly communicate with the former. It's great when common children are small.
For children, divorce is a trauma at any age. The world around us is frightening with the unknown. Only at home do they feel calm. When this stronghold collapses, it becomes scary to live. Often adults are afraid of marriage because of the memories of the breakup of their parents. Psychological trauma is hard to overcome on your own. If parents have found the strength to formalize the gap with dignity, without disgusting scenes, they communicate calmly - this is the best gift for children.
When the divorce is over and the guy begins to look at other women, he must remember the previous mistakes. It is foolish to step on a familiar rake. Deciding on a serious step, getting married, having children, is necessary after a thorough study of the passion. Live together, go on vacation, get a joint loan, start repairs. Look at it in different situations. Find a man who will be a support, support. With which any sea is knee-deep.
Vlad Pozier | Relationship Psychologist
A practicing psychologist with extensive experience in the field of love relationships between a man and a woman will help you see and reveal personal qualities that are attractive to the opposite sex and use them when meeting and communicating with people you like.
In the course of individual conversations with Vladimir Sokolov, you will not only get rid of complexes, but will also be able to build new lines of your behavior. Under the sensitive accompaniment of this specialist, hundreds of people were able to realize the value of real relationships and get rid of the burden of past grievances and addictions.
The results of close communication with a psychologist will not make you wait long, as he is a professional in his field, masterfully mastering hypnotechniques and advanced psychotherapeutic techniques
How to forget your ex wife
Bring back the girl
There are many techniques that help people improve their memory. But are there techniques that would help men forget their ex-wives? To put it simply, how do you stop those terrible memories when you're trying to move on from the trauma of divorce?
This is because memories don't go anywhere, and they can easily come back when you feel vulnerable. Therefore, try to maintain your psychological health, try to move away from them.
There is a way to end the memory of your ex (or other horrific event) in three steps:
The more you remember about it, the more you will suffer from it. A decrease in memory intensity is possible, and this means that when you return to memories, they do not appear as clearly and clearly. This is very helpful during the recovery period after a divorce. One way to do this is to use visualization techniques on these memories to reduce their effect. For example:
Imagine your bad memories of your ex-wife as a layer of dirt on your body. While it is on your body, you feel disgust, perhaps even as if someone is crawling on you. I guess that's just how you feel. Now imagine taking a hot shower and erasing all memories from your body. You are clean and the memories are gone. Can you really take a shower?
It may seem silly, but your brain, having reproduced the memories, will already see a double picture. And over time, they will completely disappear.
Frequency refers to how often you are visited by these thoughts. It comes down to two critical things: how often do you remember your ex-wife and the points and events that are associated with those memories.
A vicious circle: the more you try not to think about it, the more often you return to it. This may sound like bad news, but it's also good news. Just relax and let your head do what it wants. If you can reduce the intensity and maintain control over your memories, then every day you will think about it less and less. This should happen naturally. If you try to control yourself, then thoughts will only be fixed.
Another thing: You need to know what things make you remember your wife (a necklace, an old house, a favorite couch, photographs or decor.). These are called triggers. Be aware of them and try to fight them.
Catastrophic thinking is a term related to panic and anxiety attacks. It can also refer to the memories that your ex-wife evokes in you. Forgetting your ex-wife means taking control of the memories and placing them in the abyss where they belong. Catastrophic thinking starts with a bad thought, another bad thought is superimposed on it, and it snowballs. As long as it doesn't cause panic. The ways to solve this problem are becoming more and more difficult, and the problem seems to be getting worse.
Distraction can be a very useful tool. As well as the realization that you are in a spiral. And every time you start thinking about your wife, you get worse and worse.
Imagine that thinking about your wife is bad. And get rid of them by taking a shower.
· Relax and try to live your normal life. If you feel like thinking about your wife, think, but don't force yourself to forget.
Get rid of those things that remind you of your wife.
Stop remembering situations with your wife. She's gone, she's gone.
· Distract yourself.
Dear readers! We will be very grateful if you share with us your life experience or comments related to this topic.
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Short description
No matter if it was a long marriage or first love, no matter how impossible it all seems - your spiritual wound can be healed. Whether you are in your 20s or 60s, life can be filled with joy again, perhaps even more than you experienced before. The only reason you can't be happy again is because you won't let go of the old situation.
I am very glad that you made the right choice and want to end the memories of your ex. This is exactly the solution that will help you recover from the breakup of a relationship.
Let's be honest: Breakups are a complex, painful topic. Most people really need spiritual healing after a breakup. And there is nothing wrong with using the right technique for this case.
I've been in this situation myself, I know what it's like to wake up and think about your ex. How is it to wind yourself up, that she now has a different one, and you are left completely alone. I know what it's like to say no to other girls because they're "not as good" as your ex was. I know how difficult it is to build new relationships when you have not moved away from the previous ones.
I will say right away that there is no magic here, and this method cannot be called "secret", however, it works great, and with it you can forget your ex.
Advisor to Laymen.ru
The largest male psychological portal, which operates with the aim of supporting and mutual assistance to men. You can always get competent advice, a good guide and live support from us.
Hello, Elena!
The problem is that you met a man not at the best moment, but rather, at a completely inopportune moment in His life. A divorced man (and if it happened recently, then even more so) is a special phenomenon.
Let's take a closer look at the situation.
Firstly, grief (and parting is grief, even if it was the initiator of the parting himself) has its own patterns of flow. It takes time to complete all stages. You can't rush things. All this talk of "a wedge knocks out a wedge" is not always justified. Therefore, six months is not the best period for entering into a new relationship.
Secondly, the emotional experience of all stages of parting should end with the completion of relationships and the readiness to build new ones. In this situation, psychologically the previous relationship is not yet complete. Moreover, your partner, at the moment, is actively doing this. Hence the talk about the former. He feels like he needs to talk about it. Your main function now is a kind of "vest". What kind of romance are we talking about? He is not up to her now. Talking about work is an excuse, just emotionally He cannot get involved in other relationships, He is still “licking his wounds”.
Thirdly, even when He departs from the old relationship, it does not mean at all that he will immediately rush headlong into new ones. Yes, it is possible to have just connections and not alone, but more serious ones, he will think a thousand times.
What to do in this situation? I hope we cleared things up a bit, but it's up to you. The following scenarios are possible:
1) Wait for him to move away from emotional devastation. To be His “vest”, to console and say that everything will work out, etc. There is a hope here that "What if, one fine day, he realizes that all this time he had such a reliable person like me with him." And if, no, he does not realize? And if he says that thanks for the support, you are a good friend and will go on his own way?
2) Break off the relationship on your own. Even if you have to go through suffering, because you have already begun to get used to it. You need to give up illusions, in your dreams, He has already perfectly fit into your future. But, can He give you what you want? Just be honest with yourself, discard the fear of loneliness.
3) Perhaps, having parted now, in a year or two, He realizes who he missed. Relationships will be able to resume, but on a different emotional basis. But, first you have to go through a breakup.
Asking Him now about the future of your relationship is pointless, he is simply not able to answer it, he does not want to strain. Tension requires strength, and now he does not have them, no matter how outwardly confident He looks.
Any of the above options is valid. But, you choose.
I hope I could be of some help.
Best regards, Elena Furkulitsa
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